Tag Archives: Social anxiety disorder

The Impact of Unresolved Blame and Guilt in Recovery

Blame and guilt are normal emotions that become toxic when unresolved. They collaborate when blame is utilized to avoid personal accountability, and when guilt is a consequence of accepting blame for harming another. They both generate shame until or unless addressed.

Blame

Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, or making negative statements about the self, an individual, or group that their action(s) were wrong, and they are socially or morally irresponsible. Blame is threefold: (1) blaming others who have harmed us; (2) blaming ourselves for harming another; (3) blaming ourselves for self-harm. 

Blaming is a natural and healthy response to situations, although the initial act is often distorted. For example, children often blame themselves for household disharmony. A student may blame a failing test grade on their stupidity rather than their lack of preparedness. We blame ourselves for our dysfunction and society for making our life so difficult. We blame ourselves, our parents, our neighbors, god, and anyone caught lurking for inconsequential things or situations beyond anyone’s control.

Most of our blaming is in response to forgettable, harmless situations. Some blaming carries significant emotional weight, especially if the harm is serious or prolonged. We often carry that emotional baggage throughout our life. It is unhealthy and non-conducive to recovery. When we hold onto these feelings, we construct our neural network with anger, hurt, and resentment. To paraphrase Buddha, holding onto anger is holding onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you’re the one who gets burned. Our transgressors are likely (1) unaware they injured us, (2) have forgotten the injury, (3) take no responsibility for it, (4) or don’t care. The only person negatively impacted is the blaming party.

Those who have harmed us should be held accountable, and we must take responsibility for our own transgressions. To release the negative energy, we must forgive those transgressions and move on. Why is that difficult to do? Because our anger and righteous indignation satisfy us. We also become physiologically addicted to the pleasurable chemicals that reward our hatred and resentment.

Our transgressions against another manifest in guilt and shame—negative baggage that can only be released by accepting responsibility, making amends, and forgiving ourselves.

Self-blame is one of the most toxic forms of self-abuse. Since it is irrational to self-harm, it is caused by our dysfunction. We falsely self-blame for our behaviors and our perceived character deficits caused by our dysfunction. We are not our dysfunction, therefore, any blame must be ascribed to the dysfunction; self-blame is irrational and delusory. When addressed rationally, it can lead to positive change.

Dysfunctions thrive on our self-denigration, self-contempt, and other hyphenated forms of self-abuse. Mindfulness of this supports recovery.

Guilt

Guilt is a psychological term for a natural self-conscious emotion that condemns the self while conscious of being evaluated by another person(s). It is the physiologically harmful feeling of having done something wrong, with an implicit need to correct or amend.

There are multiple levels and factors of guilt. We feel guilt for harming another, and for being the type of person who would affect harm. We feel guilt for harming ourselves. We guilt ourselves for things over which we have no control (cognitively distorted guilt).

The sensation of guilt is a reminder that we have done something wrong that we need to correct or amend. Such actions can remove the overriding vehemence of guilt from our conscience. Guilt is self-focused but highly socially relevant: It supports important interpersonal functions by, for example, encouraging adjusting or repairing valuable relationships and discouraging acts that could damage them. 

Rather than taking responsibility for guilt-provoking actions, we often play the blame game, ascribing the guilt to another entity. Since we subconsciously recognize our attribution, we add the burden of blame to the burden of guilt.

Until or unless we are mindful of our actions that elicited the guilt, and address those actions, we carry that emotional baggage throughout our life. It is unhealthy and non-conducive to self-esteem and recovery. When we hold onto guilt, we pattern our neural network with self-doubt, self-contempt, and self-unworthiness.

The harmful impact of guilt can be resolved by:

  1. Mindfulness (recognition and acceptance) of the act that incurred the guilt.
  2. Recognizing and disputing any cognitively distorting guilt for things we are not responsible for or things over which we have no control.
  3. Making direct amends for acts we are responsible for. Making substitutional amends if direct amends are not possible. 
  4. Then forgiving our self for the act that incurred the guilt. 

When we allow the negativity of guilt to take up valuable space in our brain, it impedes the flow of positive thought and action necessary for recovery. To excise this harmful negativity, we must forgive ourselves (which requires amending or remedying). Years of hanging onto guilt take their toll, and the negative self-image builds and solidifies, and overwhelms anything that hints at self-worth or value. Guilt is considered a ‘sad’ emotion, along with agony, grief, and loneliness, each a debilitating symptom of social anxiety disorder.

By withholding forgiveness, we deny ourselves the ability to function optimally; it is divisive to our wellbeing and disharmonious to our true nature. Forgiving is the only way to expel the hostility. We cannot hope to recover without courageously absolving our self and others whose behavior contributed to our negativity.

Why is your support essential? ReChanneling is dedicated to research and development of methods to alleviate symptoms of physiological dysfunction and discomfort. Our vision is to reshape the current pathographic emphasis on diagnoses over individual, which fosters a deficit, disease model of human behavior. Treatment programs must disavow ineffective, one-size-fits-all approaches and target the individual personality through communication, empathy, collaboration, and an integration of historically and clinically practical methods. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Video: Neural Restructuring and Recovery

YouTube

When our neural pathways realign, there is a correlated change in behavior and perspective. Every thought, word, and action impel a receptive neuron to fire, transmitting a message, neuron to neuron to its destination. Positive messages contain the healthy thoughts and behaviors that supplant and overwhelm the years of toxic input generated by our dysfunction. Neural restructuring is a natural consequence of recovery; recovery is facilitated by neural restructuring.

MORE YOUTUBE VIDEOS

Self-esteem is the self-recognition of our value as applicable to our self, others, and the world; value is the accumulation of our positive self-qualities that generate our character strengths and virtues. Every physiological dysfunction generates a correlated deficiency of self-esteem due to the condition itself, and the corresponding disruption in natural human development.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is one of the most common mental disorders, affecting the emotional and mental wellbeing of millions of U.S. adults and adolescents who find themselves caught up in a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations.

ReChanneling is dedicated to researching methods to alleviate symptoms of psychological dysfunctions (neuroses) and discomfort that impact our emotional wellbeing and quality of life. It does this by targeting the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration.

Dispelling some of the folklore and misinformation about physiological dysfunction. We are all casualties of the ignorance, prejudice and discrimination attached to mental illness. Myth Number 1: Mental illness is an abnormal condition.

The disease or medical model of ‘mental’ health focuses on a deficit, disease model of human behavior. The wellness model focuses “on positive aspects of human functioning.” This disease model ‘defective’ emphasis has been the overriding psychiatric perspective for well over a century.

Why is your support essential? ReChanneling is dedicated to research and development of methods to alleviate symptoms of physiological dysfunction and discomfort (neuroses). Our vision is to reshape the current pathographic emphasis on diagnoses over individual, which fosters a deficit, disease model of human behavior. Treatment programs must disavow ineffective, one-size-fits-all approaches and target the individual personality through communication, empathy, collaboration, and an integration of historically and clinically practical methods. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Social Anxiety Disorder: General Overview

Social anxiety disorder onsets at adolescence. The afflicted are not responsible for their dysfunction.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is one of the most common mental disorders, affecting the emotional and mental wellbeing of millions of U.S. adults and adolescents who find themselves caught up in a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations. SAD is the second most diagnosed form of anxiety in the United States. Statistics estimate 40 million U.S. adults will experience SAD. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates 9.1% of adolescents (ages 10 to 19) currently experience symptoms, and 1.3% have severe impairment. Statistics are imperfect for LGBTQ+ persons; the Anxiety and Depression Association of America estimates their susceptibility is 1.5-2.5 times higher than that of their straight or gender-conforming counterparts. All statistics are fluid, however; a high percentage of persons who experience SAD refuse treatment, fail to disclose it, or remain ignorant of its symptoms. 

SAD is arguably the most underrated and misunderstood psychological dysfunction. Debilitating and chronic, SAD attacks on all fronts, negatively affecting the entire body complex. It manifests in mental confusion, emotional instability, physical dysfunction, and spiritual malaise. Emotionally, persons experiencing SAD are depressed and lonely. In social situations, they are physically subject to unwarranted sweating and trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, cramps, dizziness, and muscle spasms. Mentally, thoughts are discordant and irrational. Spiritually, they define themselves as inadequate and insignificant. 

The commitment-to-remedy rate for those experiencing SAD in the first year is less than 6%. This statistic is reflective of symptoms that manifest perceptions of worthlessness and futility. SAD also has lower recovery-remission rates because many of the afflicted are unable to afford treatment due to symptom-induced employment instability. Over 70% of SAD persons are in the lowest economic group.

Social anxiety disorder is a pathological form of everyday anxiety. Feeling anxious or apprehensive in certain situations is normal; most individuals are nervous speaking in front of a group and anxious when visiting their dentist. The typical individual recognizes the normalcy of a situation and accords it appropriate attention. The SAD person anticipates it, personalizes it, dramatizes it, and obsesses on its negative implications. The clinical term “disorder” identifies extreme or excessive impairment that negatively affects functionality.

The generic symptom of SAD is intense apprehension—the fear of being judged, negatively evaluated and ridiculed. There is persistent anxiety and fear of social situations such as dating, interviewing for a position, answering a question in class, or dealing with authority. Often, mere functionality in perfunctory situations―eating in front of others, riding a bus, using a public restroom—can be unduly stressful. 

The fear that manifests in social situations is so fierce that many SAD persons believe it is beyond their control, which manifests in perceptions of incompetence and hopelessness. Negative self-evaluation interferes with the desire to pursue a goal, attend school, or do anything that might trigger anxiety. Often, the subject worries about things for weeks before they happen. Subsequentially, they will avoid places, events, or situations where there is the potential for embarrassment or ridicule.

The overriding fear of being found wanting manifests in self-perspectives of inferiority and unattractiveness. SAD persons are unduly concerned they will say something that will reveal their ignorance, real or otherwise. They walk on eggshells, supremely conscious of their awkwardness, surrendering to the GAZE―the anxious state of mind that comes with the maladaptive self-belief they are the uncomfortable center of attention. Their social interactions can appear hesitant and awkward, small talk clumsy, attempts at humor embarrassing–every situation reactive to negative self-evaluation. 

‘Maladaptive’ is a term created by Aaron Beck, the ‘father’ of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Although maladaptive self-beliefs can occur with many psychological dysfunctions, they are most common to SAD. A maladaptive self-belief is a negative self-perspective unsupported by reality. SAD persons can find themselves in a supportive and approving environment, but they tell themselves they are unwelcome and the subject of ridicule and contempt. They ‘adapt’ negatively to a positive situation.

SAD persons are often concerned about the visibility of their anxiety and are preoccupied with performance or arousal. SAD persons frequently generate images of themselves performing poorly in feared social situations, and their anticipation of repudiation motivates them to dismiss overtures to offset any possibility of rejection. The SAD subject meticulously avoids situations that might trigger discomfort. The maladaptive perceptions of inferiority and incompetence can generate profound and debilitating guilt and shame.  

SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing irrational thoughts and behavior. 

The key to SAD’s hold on its victims is its uncanny ability to sense vulnerability in the child/adolescent. SAD is like the person who comes to dinner and stays indefinitely. It feeds off its host’s irrationality. It crashes on the couch, surrounded by beer cans drained of hope and potential. It monopolizes the bathroom, creating missed opportunities. It becomes the predominant fixture in the house. After a while, its host not only grows accustomed to having it around but forms a subordinate dependency.

SAD persons crave the companionship but shun social situations for fear of being found out as unlikeable, stupid, or annoying. Accordingly, they avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, or even fraternizing with peers. People with SAD are prone to low self-esteem and high self-criticism due to the dysfunction itself, and its causal disruption in natural human development.

SAD onset occurs during adolescence and can linger in the system for years or even decades before asserting itself. Any number of situations or events trigger the infection. The SAD person could have been subject to bullying or a broken home. Perhaps parents were overprotective, controlling, or unable to provide emotional validation. In some cases, its cause is perceptual. A child whose parental quality time is interrupted by a phone call can sense abandonment. The SAD person is not accountable for their dysfunction; there is the likelihood no one is intentionally responsible. 

SAD is routinely comorbid with depression and substance abuse. Symptom are similar to those of avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, OCD, and schizophrenia. Coupled with the discrepancies and disparity in its definition, epidemiology, assessment, and treatment, SAD is usually misdiagnosed.

For over 50 years, cognitive-behavioral therapy has been the go-to treatment for SAD. Only recently have experts determined that CBT can be ineffectual unless combined with a broader approach to account for SAD’s complexity and the individual personality. A SAD subject subsisting on paranoia sustained by negative self-evaluation is better served by multiple approaches, including those defined as new (third) wave (generation) therapies, developed through client trust, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation. CBT, positive psychology, and neural restructuring might serve as the foundational platform for integration. SEE One-Size-Fits-All 

Why is your support essential? ReChanneling is dedicated to research and development of methods to alleviate symptoms of physiological dysfunction and discomfort. Our vision is to reshape the current pathographic emphasis on diagnoses over individual, which fosters a deficit, disease model of human behavior. Treatment programs must disavow ineffective, one-size-fits-all approaches and target the individual personality through communication, empathy, collaboration, and an integration of historically and clinically practical methods. All donations support scholarships for workshops and practicums.

The Neglected Significance of Forgiveness in Recovery

The inability or unwillingness to forgive is self-defeating.

Science supports the cliché that by not forgiving, we allow the transgressor to occupy valuable space in our brain. We are so inundated from childhood with the concept of forgiveness, we tend to disregard its power and significance. The role of forgiveness is ridding ourselves of the unresolved antagonisms of hate, resentment, shame, and guilt. These are negatively valanced emotions, which means they are destructive to our physiological wellbeing. They are irrational in that they are harmful to the self. The fact that we get pleasure or satisfaction from our righteous indignation only means our neural network, not knowing any better, has become accustomed to this negativity and transmits the hormones that sustain and give us pleasure (serotonin). 

Recovery from our dysfunction or discomfort requires restructuring our neural network by feeding it positive stimuli to counter the years of harmful, negative input. But there is little room in our brain for healthy thoughts and behaviors unless we evict the bad tenants by forgiving them. That new vacancy allows us to access our character strengths and virtues that generate the motivation, persistence, and perseverance to recover.

We hold onto anger and resentment because we persuade ourselves it impacts those who transgressed against us. The irony is, they are (1) unaware they injured us, (2) have forgotten it, or (3) take no responsibility for it. The only person affected is us, the injured party.

We amplify the harm inflicted upon us by our irrational compulsion to hold onto our anger and resentment. The bile accumulates and festers until there is no room for things constructive to our recovery. To paraphrase Buddha, holding onto anger is holding onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you’re the one who gets burned. The inability or unwillingness to forgive is self-defeating.

Recovery requires letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs, opening our minds to new ideas and concepts. 

When we hold onto hate and resentment, we remain imprisoned in the past. Forgiveness opens us to new possibilities and offers hope for the future. 

Allowing our transgressors to dominate our thoughts makes us victims. Forgiving takes away their power. 

The drive for vengeance can be formidable, our baser instinct cries out for retribution. Forgiving is not easy. It takes enormous courage. That’s why it is so powerful

Forgiveness does not condone or excuse the transgressor; it takes their power away. 

We don’t forgive to make our transgressors feel better; they’re not important. We forgive to promote change within our self. 

There are three types of transgression: Those inflicted on us by another, those we inflict on another, and those we inflict on ourselves. We are both victim and abuser. We are victimized by the transgression against us. We abuse ourselves with our resentment and hate. When we transgress, we abuse the other, and our shame for the act victimizes us. Transgression against our self is both self-abuse and victimization. Abuser and victim. This is important to understand and accept. That is the role of mindfulness, a requisite for recovery.

Forgiving those who have harmed us. It is important to recognize that forgiveness is not forgetting or condoning. Our noble self forgives, our pragmatic self remembers. The actions of another may seem indefensible, but forgiving is for our wellbeing, not theirs. 

L. was in a group for social anxiety disorder. He claimed he couldn’t forgive his parents; their injustice was so severe. “If you knew what they’d done to me you wouldn’t ask me to forgive them.” L was unwilling to relinquish his parents’ negative hold on his psyche, much like a cancer victim refusing chemotherapy. Unlike many, he was mindful of the physiological ramifications of holding onto his nixtamalization, which mitigated the negative impact on his recovery, but it will remain an obstacle to recovery until L is willing to forgive and let it go.

Forgiving ourselves for harming another is accepting and releasing the guilt and shame for our actions. It’s important to recognize, transgression against another is a transgression against ourselves. The act of self-forgiveness accepts and embraces our imperfections and evidences our humanness.

Forgiving ourselves for harming ourselves. Transgression against the self is self-deprecation. It is telling ourselves we are worthless by belittling, undervaluing, or disparaging ourselves. Self-pity, self-contempt, and other hyphenated forms of self-abuse. devalue our inherent character strengths and virtues. Forgiving ourselves is challenging because our self-harm is generated by our deficit of self-esteem.

By withholding forgiveness, we deny ourselves the ability to function optimally. Our resentment and hatred are divisive to our emotional wellbeing and disharmonious to our true nature. Inner harmony is impossible unless we heal the anger within ourselves. Forgiving is the only way we expel the hostility. We cannot hope to function optimally without absolving both our self and others whose actions contributed to our negative thoughts and behavior. This courageous willingness to forgive is indispensable to recovery. 

Why is your support essential? ReChanneling is dedicated to research and development of methods to alleviate symptoms of physiological dysfunction and discomfort (neuroses/disorders). Our vision is to reshape the current pathographic emphasis on diagnoses over individual, which fosters a deficit, disease model of human behavior. Treatment programs must disavow ineffective, one-size-fits-all approaches and target the individual personality through communication, empathy, collaboration, and an integration of historically and clinically practical methods. All donations support scholarships for workshops and practicums.

Video: Social Anxiety Disorder and Relationships

YouTube

This YouTube Video is a brief PowerPoint presentation of social anxiety disorder and its impact on the individual’s emotional wellbeing and quality of life. One of the characteristics of social anxiety disorder, or its appropriate acronym, SAD, is the difficulty in establishing interpersonal relationships. SAD persons find it hard to establish close, personal connections. The avoidance of social activities and fear of rejection limits the potential for comradeship, and the inability to interact rationally and productively makes long-term, healthy relationships difficult.

Social anxiety disorder is arguably the most underrated and misunderstood psychological dysfunction. A debilitating and chronic affliction, SAD affects the perceptual, cognitive, personality, and social activities of the afflicted. It wreaks havoc on the person ‘s emotional wellbeing and quality of life. Almost one out of every three persons in the U. S. experiences some anxiety disorder at some point in their lives; 30 million are impacted by social anxiety disorder.

MORE YOUTUBE VIDEOS

The disease or medical model of ‘mental’ health focuses on a deficit, disease model of human behavior. The wellness model focuses “on positive aspects of human functioning.” This disease model ‘defective’ emphasis has been the overriding psychiatric perspective for well over a century.

When our neural pathways realign, there is a correlated change in behavior and perspective. Every thought, word, and action impel a receptive neuron to fire, transmitting a message, neuron to neuron to its destination. Positive messages contain the healthy thoughts and behaviors that supplant and overwhelm the years of toxic input generated by our dysfunction.

ReChanneling is dedicated to researching methods to alleviate symptoms of psychological dysfunctions (neuroses) and discomfort that impact our emotional wellbeing and quality of life. It does this by targeting the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration.

Dispelling some of the folklore and misinformation about physiological dysfunction. We are all casualties of the ignorance, prejudice and discrimination attached to mental illness. Myth Number 1: Mental illness is an abnormal condition.

Self-esteem is the self-recognition of our value as applicable to our self, others, and the world; value is the accumulation of our positive self-qualities that generate our character strengths and virtues. Every physiological dysfunction generates a correlated deficiency of self-esteem due to the condition itself, and the corresponding disruption in natural human development.

Why is your support essential? ReChanneling is dedicated to research and development of methods to mitigate symptoms of physiological dysfunction and discomfort (neuroses). Our vision is to reshape the current pathographic emphasis on diagnoses over individual, which fosters a deficit, disease model of human behavior. Treatment programs must disavow ineffective, one-size-fits-all approaches and target the individual personality through communication, empathy, collaboration, and an integration of historically and clinically practical methods. All donations support scholarships for workshops and practicums.