Tag Archives: neuroses

Healthy Philautia

Healthy Philautia is a program―utilized as an adjunct to other traditional and non-traditional approaches
to recovery-remission―that focuses on the renewal and reinvigoration of intrinsic self-esteem.


Healthy philautia is an essential element of self-esteem. It embraces the positive aspects of self-love and facilitates our positive self-qualities (i.e., self -compassion, -love, -regard, -respect, -value, -worth, and other intrinsic wholesome attributes). Aristotle argued in the Nichomachean Ethics that healthy philautia was the precondition for all other forms of love.[i]

In psychological terms, healthy philautia adjuncts to other modification programs engineered to overcome or replace maladaptive self-beliefs and behaviors that have supplanted positive self-qualities due to a disruption in our natural human development. Healthy philautia serves as a more focused revitalization tool in CBT’s self-esteem reinforcement and or positive psychology’s optimal functioning. Healthy philautia’s primary psychological application is to regenerate the self-esteem that supports us and our intrinsic goodness. 

What causes a deficit of self-esteem?

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs reveals how childhood/adolescent exploitation can disrupt their human development.[ii] Healthy evolution requires satisfying fundamental physiological and psychological needs. The child/adolescent experiencing detachment, exploitation, or neglect, may be disenabled from satisfying her or his physiological and safety needs and the need to belong and experience love, which can impact their acquisition of self-esteem. Self-esteem is the recognition of our value; value is the accumulation of positive self-qualities that generate character strength and virtue. 

The deprivation of any fundamental need can detrimentally impact our wellbeing. Wellness models’ psychological positivity addresses this lacuna by emphasizing our character strengths that facilitate motivation and persistence/perseverance.

To Aristotle, healthy philautia is vigorous in its orientation to self and others in its potential goodness. By contrast, its darker variant portends disastrous consequences due to its narcissism, arrogance, and egotism. Healthy philautia encourages the development of our intrinsic positive self-qualities. Positive self-qualities determine our relation to self, to others, and the world. They provide the recognition that we are of value, consequential, and worthy of love. Healthy philautia is vital in every sphere of life and can be considered a basic human need.” [iii] To the Greeks, healthy philautia “is the root of the heart of all the other loves.” [iv] Gadamer writes of healthy philautia: “Thus it is; in self-love, one becomes aware of the true ground and the condition for all possible bonds with others and commitment to oneself.” [v] Healthy philautia is the love that is within oneself. It is not, explains Jericho, “the desire for self and the root of selfishness.” [vi] 

Philautia is a binary category of classical Greek love, which embraces both its healthy and unhealthy aspects. Unhealthy philautia is akin to clinical narcissism―a mental condition in which people function with an “inflated sense of their own importance [and a] deep need for excessive attention and admiration,” behind which “lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.” [vii] Citizens of Athens could be accused of unhealthy philautia if they placed themselves above the greater good. Today, hubris has come to mean “an inflated sense of one’s status, abilities, or accomplishments, especially when accompanied by haughtiness or arrogance.” [viii]

The Greeks believed that the narcissism of unhealthy philautia could not exist without its complementary opposition of healthy philautia. Positive psychology 2.0 recognized this by emphasizing the need to focus on both our negative and positive qualities. Just like we would not recognize light without darkness, or heat without cold―to know goodness is to understand evil. 

Healthy philautia is essential for a good life; it is easy to recognize how the continuous infusion of healthy philautia and its reacquisition of positive self-qualities supports self-respect, reliance, and appreciation of our potential. “One sees in self-love the defining marks of friendship, which one then extends to a man’s friendships with others.” [ix] Recognition of our inherent value generates the realization that we are “a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.” [x] A good person is spiritually, one that is loved. “To feel joy and fulfillment at being you is the experience of philautia.” [xi] It is through recognition of our positive self-qualities and their contribution to the general welfare that we rediscover our intrinsic capacity for love. 


[i] Lomas, T. (2017). The flavours of love: A cross‐cultural lexical analysis. Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 48(1): 134-152 (2017). doi:10.1111/jtsb.12158.

[ii] Maslow, A.H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4): 370-396 (1943). doi.org/10.1037/h0054346.

[iii] Sharma, A. (2014). Self-Esteem Is the Sense of Personal Worth and Competence That Persona Associate with Their Self – Concepts. IOSR Journal of Nursing and Health Science, 3(6), Ver.4: 16-20.

[iv] Jericho, L. (2015). Inner spring: Eros, Agape, and the Six Forms of Loving. Lilipoh, 20 (79): 38-39.

[v] Gadamer, H-G. (2009). Friendship and Solidarity. Research in Phenomenology, 39: 3-12. (2009). doi:10.1163/156916408X389604

[vi] Jericho, L. (2015). Inner spring: Eros, Agape, and the Six Forms of Loving. Lilipoh, 20 (79): 38-39.

[vii] Mayoclinic. (2017). Personality disorders. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463.

[viii] Burton, N. (2016). These Are the 7 Types of Love. (Online.) Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love.

[ix] Deigh, J. (2001). The Moral Self. Pauline Chazan. Mind. London: Oxford University Press. (2001). doi:10.1093/mind/110.440.1069.

[x] Ackerman, C. (2019). What is Self-Esteem? (Online.) A Psychologist Explains. Positive Psychology. http:www.positive psychology.com/self-esteem/.

[xi] Jericho, L. (2015). Inner spring: Eros, Agape, and the Six Forms of Loving. Lilipoh, 20 (79): 38-39.

Social Anxiety Disorder

SAD is the most common psychiatric disorder in the U.S. after major depression and alcohol abuse.


Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is one of the most common mental disorders affecting the emotional and mental wellbeing of over 15 million U.S. adults who find themselves caught up in a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations. SAD is the second most diagnosed form of anxiety in the United States.[i] The National Institute of Mental Health[iii] report 31.1% of U.S. adults experience some anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. Statistics are imperfect for the LGBTQ community; the Anxiety and Depression Association of America estimates their rate is 1.5-2.5 times higher “than that of their straight or gender-conforming counterparts.”[iv]

SAD is the most common psychiatric disorder in the U.S. after major depression and alcohol abuse.[v] It is also arguably the most underrated and misunderstood. A “debilitating and chronic” affliction, SAD “wreaks havoc on those who suffer from it.”[vi] SAD attacks all fronts, negatively affecting the entire body complex, delivering mental confusion, emotional instability, physical dysfunction, and spiritual malaise. Emotionally, persons experiencing SAD feel depressed and lonely. In social situations, they are physically subject to unwarranted sweating and trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, cramps, dizziness, and muscle spasms. Mentally, thoughts are discordant and irrational. Spiritually, they define themselves as inadequate and insignificant. Approximately, only 5% of SAD persons commit to early recovery, reflective of symptoms that manifest maladaptive self-beliefs of worthlessness and futility. SAD has lower recovery-remission rates because many are unable to afford treatment due to SAD induced “impairments in financial and employment stability.”[vii] Over 70% of SAD persons “are in the lowest economic group.”[viii]

Feeling anxious or apprehensive in certain situations is normal; most individuals are nervous speaking in front of a group and anxious when pulled over on the freeway. The typical individual recognizes the ordinariness of a situation and accords it appropriate attention. The SAD person anticipates it, takes it personally, dramatizes it, and obsesses on its negative implications. Social anxiety disorder is a pathological form of everyday anxiety. The clinical term “disorder” identifies extreme or excessive impairment that negatively affects functionality.

The superficial overview of SAD is intense apprehension—the fear of being judged, negatively evaluated and ridiculed. There is persistent anxiety or fear of social situations such as dating, interviewing for a position, answering a question in class, or dealing with authority. Often, mere functionality in perfunctory situations―eating in front of others, riding a bus, using a public restroom—can be unduly stressful. The overriding fear of being found wanting manifests in perspectives of inadequacy and unattractiveness. SAD persons are unduly concerned they will say something that will reveal their ignorance, real or otherwise. They walk on eggshells, supremely conscious of their awkwardness, surrendering to the GAZE―the anxious state of mind that comes with the maladaptive self-belief they are the center of attention. Their movements can appear hesitant and awkward, small talk clumsy, attempts at humor embarrassing, and every situation is reactive to negative self-evaluation. They are apprehensive of potential “negative evaluation by others,” concerned about “the visibility of anxiety, and preoccupation with performance or arousal.”[ix] SAD persons frequently generate images of themselves performing poorly in feared social situations, and their anticipation of repudiation motivates them to dismiss overtures to offset any possibility of rejection. SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing irrational thought and behavior. It establishes its authority through its subjects’ defeatist measures produced by distorted and unsound interpretations of actuality that govern perspectives of personal attractiveness, intelligence, competence, and other errant beliefs.

SAD persons crave others’ company but shun social situations for fear of being found out as unlikeable, stupid, or annoying. Accordingly, they avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, or even fraternizing with peers. People with social anxiety disorder are prone to low self-esteem and high self-criticism.

Anxiety and other personality disorders are branches of the same tree. There is a significant degree of comorbidity between social anxiety disorder and other mental health problems, most notably depression and substance-abuse.

For over 50 years, cognitive-behavioral therapy has been the go-to treatment for SAD. Only recently have experts determined that CBT is ineffective unless combined with a broader approach to account for the disorder’s complexity and the individual personality. A SAD subject subsisting on paranoia sustained by negative self-evaluation is better served by multiple non-traditional and supported approaches, including those defined as new (third) wave (generation) therapies, developed through client trust, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation with CBT, positive psychology, and neural restructuring serving as the foundational platform for integration.


[i] MHA (2019). The State of Mental Health Care in America. (Online.) Mental Health Association.  https://www.mhanational.org /issues/state-mental-health-america.

[ii] ADAA. (2019a). Facts and Statistics. (Online.) Anxiety and Depression Association of America https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/understanding-anxiety-and-depression-lgbtq [iii] (NIMH, 2017)

[iii] NIMH (2017). Social Anxiety Disorder. (Online.) National Institute of Mental Health). https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/social-anxiety-disorder.shtml

[iv] Brenner, B. (2019). Understanding Anxiety and Depression for LGBTQ People. (Online.)  Anxiety and Depression Association of Americahttps://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/understanding-anxiety-and-depression-lgbtq.

[v] Heshmat, S. (2014). Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). SAD is a risk factor for addiction. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/201410/social-anxiety-disorder-sad

[vi] ADAA. (2019a). Facts and Statistics. (Online.) Anxiety and Depression Association of America https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/understanding-anxiety-and-depression-lgbtq

[vii] Gregory. B., Wong, Q. J. J., Craig, D., Marker, C. D., & Peters, L. (2018). Maladaptive Self-Beliefs During Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for social anxiety disorder: A Test of Temporal Precedence. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 42(3): 261–272 (2018). doi.org/10.1007/s10608-017-9882-5

[viii] Nardi, A. E. (2003). The social and economic burden of social anxiety disorder. BMJ, 327 (2003).doi:10.1136/bmj.327.7414.515

[ix] Tsitsas, G. D., & Paschali, A. A. (2014). A Cognitive-Behavior Therapy Applied to a Social Anxiety Disorder and a Specific Phobia, Case Study. Health Psychology Research, 2(3): 1603 (2014). doi:10.4081/hpr.2014.1603.

SAD persons crave others’ company but shun social situations for fear of being found out as unlikeable or unattractive.

Our Role in Recovery


The fact that we are not accountable for the childhood/adolescent exploitation that led to our psychophysiological malfunction does not absolve us of the adult responsibility to do something about it.

Many of us avoid learning about the causes and symptoms of our disorder as if ignoring it will make it go away. When we see evidence that the traits and characterizations of the disorder match our own, it somehow makes it more concrete, more real. It makes us accountable. Although all the relevant data is readily available from credible sources, including the National Institute of Mental Health, Johns Hopkins, the Mayo Clinic, remaining uninformed perceptually abrogates responsibility.

When something is broken, it is deconstructed to analyze the problem. We isolate the components and acquaint ourselves with their objectives. Equal effort is required for the brokenness in us. We must study the traits and symptoms of our disorder, and recognize how they affect our thoughts and behaviors. For us to have any chance at recovery, we need to know what we are recovering from. Replacing or repairing defects is fruitless without knowing what those defects are and how they function. Before a football team faces their opponent, they watch hours of film, review stats, and practice. If an actor wishes to give a good performance, it is prudent to learn the character’s lines before getting on stage. Our disorder is our enemy; it is unhealthy, and it hurts us. Our deliberate ignorance is denial, and that is a deal-breaker. Our disorder will continue to impact our emotional wellbeing and quality of life until we recognize, accept, and confront it.

Recovery-remission is a psychological construct. The revelation we are not responsible for the disorder sets the foundation for recovery. Understanding that we alone are the agents of change begins the construct. Counselors and programs provide the blueprint, but we erect the edifice. The disease model tells us what is wrong with us. We do not need to hear that. Our disorder is not something that can be excised like a tumor, so what is the point of telling us what is wrong with us? The wellness model’s focus and by extension, positive psychology and other optimistic approaches, is on our virtues and strengths.

One group of psychologists describes recovery as “people (re-) engaging in their life on the basis of their own goals and strengths, and finding meaning and purpose through constructing and reclaiming a valued identity and valued social roles.” [i] Enduring recovery grounds itself on our knowledge of our disorder and the implementation of our character strengths and virtues to recover from it.

[i] Schrank, B., Brownell, T., Tylee, A., & Slade, M. (2014). Psychology: An Approach to Supporting Recovery in Mental Illness. East Asian Arch Psychiatry, 24, 95-103 (2014).

Overcoming Our Resistance

Resistance is our deliberate or unconscious attempt to prevent something from happening.


Our resistance is the first hurdle to recovery, and it is a formidable one. Resistance comes in many forms, and it has multiple attributions. We are usually unaware of it or refuse to admit it. There are seven legitimate causes of our resistance that need to be recognized and overcome. 

CHANGE. We are hard-wired to dislike change. Our bodies and brains are structured to resist anything that disrupts our equilibrium. Our body monitors our metabolism, temperature, weight, and other survival functions to balance and perform properly. A new diet or exercise regimen, for example, produces physiological changes in our heart rate, metabolism, and respiration, which impact these functions. Inertia senses these changes and resists them by making it difficult for us to maintain them. Our brain’s basal ganglia resists any change in our patterns of behavior. Therefore, habits like smoking or gambling are hard to break, and new undertakings challenging to maintain.

PERSONAL BAGGAGE: The various disorders affect us differently, and our personalities are unique; while there are similarities, no two situations are identical. A person with anxiety may be uncomfortable contributing to the classroom, while those with issues of self-esteem have difficulty establishing healthy relationships. Many of us make self-destructive decisions like substance abuse or emotional blackmail to feel viable or to numb us to the pain of our inadequacy. We may feel angry, incompetent, resentful, or worthless. This personal baggage makes commitment difficult; we have beaten ourselves so often we resist anything new, especially something of personal benefit. 

PUBLIC OPINION. Public aversion to mental illness is hard-wired. What is perceived as repugnant or weak in mind or body has suffered since the dawning of man. Having a diksorder is not a sign of weakness or strength. It is an intrinsic part of nature. Much of society views it differently because they see our disorder in themselves, and it frightens them. That fear is reinforced by prejudice, ignorance, and discrimination. One would hope that negative public opinion would evolve, but studies indicate it has fluctuated since World War II but remains steadfast. 

MEDIA REPRESENTATION. TV, books, and films exaggerate dysfunction, stereotyping us as annoying, dramatic, and peculiar. More extreme portrayals suggest we are unpredictable and dangerous. A 2011 comparative study revealed that nearly half of U.S. stories on mental illness explicitly mention or allude to violence. Half of the disordered surveyed by Mind, a London organization, focused on improving mental healthcare standards, said media coverage had a negative effect on their mental health. The media is powerful. Studies show homicide rates go up after televised heavyweight fights, and suicide rates increase after on-screen portrayals. Television content leads to an inflated estimate of adultery and crime rates and negative self-appraisal. 

VISIBILITY is the public display of behaviors associated with disorders. Not only is the public uneasy or repulsed by such behaviors, but we also are conscious of being watched, whether it is real or imagined, and often surrender to the GAZE―what psychoanalyst Lacan defines as the anxious state of mind that comes with scrutiny and unwanted attention.

UNDESIRABILITY.  Distancing is the public’s psychological expression of aversion and contempt for the behaviors associated with our disorder. Social distance varies by diagnosis. In a 2000 study, 38–47% of respondents supported a desire for social distancing from individuals with depression. The range was most significant for those with drug abuse disorders, followed by alcohol abuse, and depression. Distancing reflects the feelings a prejudiced group has towards another group; it is the affirmation of undesirability. In stigma research, the extent of social distance loosely corresponds to the level of discriminatory behavior. E

DIAGNOSIS. Diagnosis drives mental health stereotypes. Which disorder is the most repulsive, and which poses the most threat? People are concerned about the severity of our disorder, whether it is contagious, or whether our behaviors caused the disorder. Will the symptoms worsen? Is our disorder punishment for our sins, implying the more dangerous the symptoms, the worse the offense. Do not believe everything you read on the internet, chose your friends wisely, and take what your relatives have to say with a grain of salt.

Resistance v. Repression

RESISTANCE is our deliberate or unconscious attempt to prevent something from happening for any reason whatsoever. REPRESSION is a defense mechanism that prevents certain events, feelings, thoughts, and desires that our conscious mind refuses to accept from entering it. It is more of that stuff that clogs our brain and impacts our thoughts and behaviors, but we cannot address it because we don’t know it’s there. We have compartmentalized it and misplaced the key. 


Each of us is unlike every other being in the history of the world. We are one of a kind.


We are our body, mind, spirit, and emotions. For us to be healthy, the four components must work in concert to achieve homeostasis. Each is involved in every activity, although we favor one over the others. How do we know this? Imagine narrowly avoiding a collision on the freeway. As you sit safely on the shoulder, your hands become clammy, and you hyperventilate. You think of your family and ponder your mortality. You express anger at the driver who caused the incident and frustration at the delay while you thank god you survived.

Knowing these four components are integral and cooperative is helpful. When we have a mental block, physical exercise rejuvenates us. When our spirit is deflated, our mind takes us to a place that encourages us, or we dig up a memory of something that gives us joy or strength. When we are emotionally distraught, we engage in mental activities like balancing our checkbook or playing a board game. Or we turn to the physical and go to the gym, or jog, or swim. Or we meditate, pray, or practice yoga. In other words, when one component impacts us negatively, we turn to another one to compensate. This cooperation does not happen by accident; we control their functionality.

We are children of the Universe

Remember, we are children of the universe, entitled to everything the universe has to offer. It is the implicit theory of positive psychology, humanism, and their mentor Abraham Maslow that all individuals are extraordinary by their humanness, and each has the potential for significant personal achievement.

Each of us is unlike every other being in the history of the world. We are one of a kind and inimitable; there will never be another one like us. We are special. We belong. We are an essential part of everything, and without us, the world would not exist. The Philosophy of Organism states that every actual entity is present in every other actual entity. The Principle of Process determines we are in a constant process of becoming because we are creativity.  We are significant and necessary.