Tag Archives: Coping Skills

Reasonable Expectations

Robert F. Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

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Reasonable expectations for those experiencing emotional dysfunction including social anxiety.

Living with persistent negative self-beliefs and image for years on end is emotionally destabilizing. We crave interconnectedness, but our fears of ridicule and rejection interfere with any semblance of a social life. We are overwhelmed by loneliness and isolation. We avoid opportunities that may provoke our anxiety. So, we turn to defense mechanisms to relieve ourselves of our SAD-provoked fears and anxieties. 

Defense mechanisms are psychological responses that protect us from our unrelenting anxieties. They temporarily appease our sense of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness. They also reinforce and justify our toxic behaviors and validate our irrational attitudes, rules, and assumptions. They twist reality to conform to our irrational behaviors. Defense mechanisms are short-term safeguards against the thoughts and emotions that are difficult for our conscious minds to manage. Mechanisms like compensation, substance abuse, projection, and cognitive distortions are methods of avoidance – unhealthy responses to our problems – that offer temporary respite but do little to moderate our anxieties in the long term. 

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Some defense mechanisms, when used appropriately, can be beneficial. Without coping mechanisms, healthy or otherwise, we can experience decompensation – the inability or unwillingness to generate effective psychological alternatives to stress – resulting in personality disturbance or disintegration.

Compensation

None of us is perfect. We all conceal things to avoid revealing things about ourselves that make us uncomfortable. Often, we hide them from ourselves. One way to accomplish this is to direct attention away from the problematic area to something else.  

Compensation is when we excel in one area of our life to counteract real or perceived deficits in another. The socially inadequate may become an actor or musician. A toddler reprimanded for bad behavior might clean her room. A teenager compensates for learning difficulties by excelling in sports. (While they may accrue social and physical benefits, long-term problems may accrue unless educational issues are addressed.) 

Compensation is a natural response to errant behaviors. It is a defense mechanism that has healthy applications. We compensate for our adverse thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with positive, productive ones. We compensate for our low self-esteem by recognizing and emphasizing our character strengths, virtues, and achievements. 

Our social anxiety has negatively impacted our emotional well-being and quality of life since childhood. Our fear of rejection has subverted our social life. Our obsession with our performance and shortcomings is a constant reminder of our imperfections. Like the tendency to thrust a burnt hand into cold water, years of living with feelings of inferiority and self-loathing compels us to overcompensate.  

Perfectionism

An unhealthy byproduct of compensation is falling into the trap of perfectionism. This is especially frequent in SAD persons. Perfectionism causes us to set unreasonable expectations. Let’s discuss some of the glaring similarities between social anxiety disorder and perfectionism.

Perfectionists tend to beat themselves when expectations are unmet. They struggle to move on when things don’t work out the way they anticipate. SAD persons worry about their performance before and during a situation and obsess about their failures long after.

Perfectionists tend to have higher levels of anxiety and lower levels of psychological well-being. SAD persons have lower implicit and explicit self-esteem relative to healthy controls.

To a perfectionist, anything less than perfection is perceived as failure. Polarized Thinking is common among SAD persons. We see things as absolute – black or white. There is no middle ground. We are either brilliant or abject failures. Our friends are for us or against us. If we are not faultless, we must be broken and inept. 

Perfectionists and SAD persons avoid situations that project potential failure. We worry so much about doing or saying something inappropriate, we procrastinate or avoid the situation entirely. This exacerbates our self-criticism and defensiveness.

Perfectionists do not take criticism well. A prevailing symptom of social anxiety disorder is the fear of situations in which we may be criticized and or ridiculed.

Because of our critical nature and tendency to reject out of fear of rejection, perfectionists and SAD persons are, ostensibly, lonely or isolated, which seriously impacts our ability to interconnect and sustain satisfying relationships. 

Perfectionists obsess over their imperfections. Rather than taking pride in their abilities, they prioritize their faults. Filtering is a cognitive distortion common to SAD persons. We selectively choose our perspective. We focus on the negative aspects of a situation and exclude the positive. Negative filtering sustains our toxic core and intermediate beliefs. A dozen people in our office celebrate our promotion; one ignores us. We obsess over the lone individual and disregard the goodwill of the rest. That is in an imperfect scenario, and anything less than perfection is a failure.

Expectations that follow the same criteria that we establish for our neural information will likely be met. Rational, reasonable, possible, positive, unconditional, goal-focused, concise, and first-person present or future time expectations will likely be met. 

An expectation, by definition, is a strong emotional belief that something will take place in the future. When we set expectations, we have a vested interest in their outcome. An unreasonable expectation is irrational – one that has no basis in reason or fact. So, what happens in the likelihood our expectations are unmet? Because we have a vested interest, we are psychologically attached to the outcome. Fixed In our minds, we see it as a reality. When it does not go our way, the general response is one of disappointment.

Disappointment is a formidable emotion; experts describe the reaction to disappointment as a form of sadness – an expression of desperation or grief due to loss. While it is true that we cannot lose what we do not acquire, by fixing the expectation in our mind, we made it real, and we feel the loss viscerally. This leads to depression, self-loathing, and the other symptoms associated with perfectionism and social anxiety. We have failed; we are hopeless and worthless.

History shows us that setting unreasonable ambitions in war can have disastrous consequences when expectations are unmet. Since we are at war with SAD, it is crucial to avoid making the same mistake. Recovery is challenging enough without adding additional stress to the equation.

It is human nature to want to aspire to excellence. How do we set reasonable expectations when every fiber of our being wants to grab the brass ring? Setting a clear and concise singular purpose and reasonable expectations. First, we identify the particulars of the anxiety-provoking situation; they vary depending on our associated fears, and corresponding ANTs (automatic negative thoughts). We then devise a structured plan to address the feared situation – the coping skills best suited to achieve our purpose. 

Purpose 

What is our singular goal or reason for exposing ourselves to the Situation? Is it to network, make friends, challenge our dysfunction, or work on a personal concern? Our Purpose is our primary motivation. The overarching goal in recovery is to moderate our fears and anxieties. We rarely expose ourselves to situations, however, for the sole purpose of challenging our social anxiety. We have alternative or secondary motivations. Why are we participating in this situation? What do we seek or hope to accomplish? 

A world of caution. While we may have multiple reasons for exposing ourselves to the situation, it is advisable to limit ourselves to a single clear and concise purpose because it strengthens our focus and resolve. Conversely, focusing on multiple purposes such as networking, seeking a sexual liaison, and making friends significantly reduces the probability of a successful venture, leading to disappointment and self-recrimination. There is an old Russian proverb. If you chase two rabbits, you will probably not catch either one. 

Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS) 

SUDS is a numbered, self-evaluation scale (1-100) that measures the intensity of distress we feel about a situation. SUDS has two purposes in recovery. The first is to help us identify and evaluate our fears and ANTs. It also helps us set expectations; we project how well we moderate that distress utilizing our recovery tools and techniques. It is a subjective exercise designed to generate a positive response to a potentially negative situation. Here is how it works.

Projected SUDS Rating 

Let’s say we gauge the intensity of our distress about a situation at a SUDS level of 75. Projecting we can decrease the intensity of that distress to 25 is an unreasonable expectation. That is not going to happen immediately but through repetition and practice. We can reasonably expect, however, that our distress will modify to some extent. So, we project our SUDS Rating of 75 will decrease to 70 or 65. We can achieve that just by showing up. That is a reasonable expectation. We keep the training wheels on our bike until we have achieved the level of competence where we remove them and ride safely.

Projected Positive Outcome

Our projected positive outcome is the sequence of events we determine will satisfy our participation. What reasonable result will provide a sense of pride and accomplishment? Like our Projected SUDs Rating, anticipating a reasonable outcome will ensure the probability of success. For example, if our purpose is to network, what would support that goal to our satisfaction? This is purely subjective, so it is easy to be reasonable. If our fear of rejection disrupts our ability to network, for example, a projected positive outcome might be as simple as handing a business card to one potential employer. Someone more socially comfortable would, likely, ask more of themselves. Our reasonable expectation is a subjective determination of what we would consider progress. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. If we foolishly decide to fly, our wings may burn and hurdle us to the ground. A situation is defined as the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a particular place. A reasonable expectation is one that is reasonable to us when exposing ourselves to a feared situation. We determine the conditions for success. Progress, not perfection.

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Cognitive Distortions Germane to Social Anxiety

Dr. Robert F. Mullen
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)

Cognitive distortions are exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that perpetuate our anxiety and depression. In essence, we twist reality to reinforce or justify our toxic behaviors and validate our irrational attitudes, rules, and assumptions. Our attitudes refer to our emotions, convictions, and behaviors. Rules are the principles or regulations that influence our behaviors, and our assumptions are what we believe to be accurate or real. Social anxiety and other emotional dysfunctions paint an inaccurate picture of the self in the world with others. 

Understanding how we use cognitive distortions as subconscious strategies to avoid facing certain truths is crucial to recovery. SAD drives our illogical thought patterns. Countering them requires mindfulness of our motives and rational response. Our compulsion to twist the truth to validate our negative self-beliefs and image is powerful; we need to understand how these distortions sustain our social anxiety. Cognitive distortions are rarely cut and dried but tend to overlap and share traits and characteristics. That’s what makes them difficult to clearly distinguish.

We are highly susceptible to cognitive distortions when under stress. During a situation, they are like IEDs capable of destroying our confidence and composure. Because of their similarities, it is challenging and unnecessary to distinguish one from the others as long as we remain mindful of their accessibility, so we can nip them in the bud. Our symptoms are easy targets for cognitive distortions.

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The number of cognitive distortions listed by experts ranges substantially. The following thirteen are particularly germane to social anxiety.

ALWAYS BEING RIGHT. Our need to be right protects the fragile self-image sustained by our fears of criticism, ridicule, and rejection. Being right is more important than the truth or the feelings of others. Thoughts or opinions that contradict are harmful to our emotional structure. 

The core and intermediate beliefs of a person living with social anxiety are rigid; we dismiss new ideas and concepts. Even when our belief system is inaccurate, it defines how we see ourselves in the world. If the facts don’t comport with our beliefs, we dispute or disregard them. When we decline to question our beliefs, we act upon them as though they are valid and reasonable, ignoring evidence that contradicts – even if we doubt the veracity of our claims. Our insecurity is so severe, our maladjusted attitudes, rules, and assumptions run roughshod over the truth and the feelings of others.

We store information consistent with these beliefs, which generates a cognitive bias – a subconscious error in thinking that leads us to misinterpret information, impacting the accuracy of our perspectives and decisions. Our low implicit and explicit self-esteem keeps us on the defensive and compels the need to compensate for our perceptual lack of positive self-qualities. We ignore or contest anything that poses a threat, especially information inconsistent with what we assert to be true. The need to always be right can also reflect the narcissism evident in the irrational belief that we are the center of attention in any situation.

Because of our neediness to always be right, we tend to ignore what others are saying. We avoid recognizing anything that might lead us to conclude we are mistaken. Even when we know we are wrong, we find it hard to admit it because it exacerbates our fears of ridicule and criticism. 

In situations where we are ill-advised to dispute our superiors or other authority figures, we subvert our need to be right. We bow to pressure and imply that we accept their truth, covertly convinced we are right, and they are not. This subservience forces us to give away our power, generating anger and resentment. We smile and agree with those who hold sway over us. but secretly envy their power, becoming irritated and bitter.

In our formative years, many of us were undervalued – subject to the circumstances of our childhood disturbance. Our parents may have been controlling or dismissive, our siblings overbearing. Some of us rarely experienced positive feedback or appreciation. As adults, we are driven to disregard thoughts and viewpoints that conflict with our own.

Always Being Right does not bode well for healthy relationships because we do not reciprocate shared issues or experiences. Counterfeit, ignoring, selective, and hostile listening devalues the relevance of others and inhibits the prospect of healthy connectivity. Being right is more important than establishing and maintaining friendships and intimacy. 

Recovery promotes considered and attentive listening skills – active communication where we value what is being said by the other. In empathic listening, we seek first to understand and then to be understood.

SAD Symptoms, Fears, and Apprehensions

BLAMING. Blaming is wrongly assigning responsibility for things and happenings. Social anxiety disorder thrives by making us feel helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. The burden of responsibility for our negative self-image can be overwhelming and compels us to hold someone or something accountable.

Since we have determined that SAD onset is a consequence of childhood disturbance, we recognize that attributing blame for our symptoms makes no sense. The Fallacy of Fairness, however, alerts us to the perceived unjustness of SAD, and our Emotional Reasoning compels us to assign blame. Something or someone provokes our fears and anxieties, and blaming SAD for everything does not relieve the anguish of our negative self-beliefs. When we see ourselves as victims, we need to blame someone or something for our victimization. 

One alternative is external blaming – holding others accountable for things that are our responsibility. Blaming someone or something for our personal choices and decisions seems illogical, but remember, SAD sustains itself on our irrationality. Besides, if we feel helpless, how can we hold ourselves accountable? If we believe we do not have the power to overcome our challenges, does it not make sense to blame someone else?

Internal blaming is assuming personal responsibility for the problems of other people and things that go wrong which do not involve us. We view everything as our fault and think we are responsible for everyone. If our roommate is unhappy, it must be something we did. Internal or self-blaming can be expressed as power or weakness (Control Fallacies). When we blame ourselves for our symptoms, we feed into our perceptions of incompetence and ineptitude. Believing we have power and influence over other people’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors can be seen as grandiosity. Both correspond to our low self-esteem and sense of inferiority.

There is a difference between internal blaming and taking responsibility. Holding ourselves accountable for our actions is the mature and ethical approach to emotional well-being and social responsibility. Internal blaming is when we take responsibility for things that we are not accountable for. 

Until we devise rational responses to our fears and social avoidance, we tend to assign blame for our negative thoughts and behaviors. The ability to look at our actions through the prism of intellectual awareness is a necessary component of the transformative act and indispensable to recovery. Rational response allows the flow of positive thought and behavior necessary for recovery, eliminating the need to blame. Until we master recovery, we will continue to search for avenues to unburden ourselves of responsibility. 

CATASTROPHIZING. One morning, as Chicken Little was plucking worms in the henyard, an acorn dropped from a tree onto her head. She had no idea what hit her and assumed the worst. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling.” Catastrophizing is concluding the worst-case scenario when things happen to us, rather than considering more plausible explanations. It is the irrational assumption that something is far worse than it is. We prophesize the worst and twist reality to support our projection. If our significant other complains of a headache, we assume our relationship is doomed. When this happens again, our belief is confirmed.

A symptom of SAD is our tendency to expect negative consequences to things that happen during a situation. Because of our life-consistent negative self-appraisal, and inherent negative bias, we tend to assume the worst. Often, we justify our catastrophizing based on prior events, believing that catastrophe will ensue because we blew the former out of proportion. This is similar to Overgeneralization where one bad apple means the entire bushel is rotten. Our four horsemen of social anxiety disorder – helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and unworthiness aggravate our negative assumptions. Catastrophizing is often a consequence of our symptomatic fears of criticism, ridicule, and rejection. We take something we believe is inevitable and presuppose its actuality. We will be rejected and therefore, never find love. We will be criticized and, therefore, never be taken seriously. 

Catastrophizing is paralyzing. It limits our interactivity and social engagement because we avoid situations that posit the possibility of disaster. Our fatalistic obsessions prevent us from experiencing and enjoying life. We express it in our SAD-induced automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). “What if no one talks to me?” “What if they criticize my presentation?” “What if they find me unattractive?” Worrying about something that hasn’t happened is an exercise in futility and supports our sense of hopelessness. It can negatively impact our entire outlook in life, causing issues of motivation and self-esteem that lead to self-disappointment and underachievement. 

Considering the consequences of what can happen is a regular and rational part of determining our actions and activities. The compulsion to project the worst possible outcome, no matter how improbable, is self-destructive. 

When those of us with social anxiety disorder find ourselves in a situation where we dread being criticized, ridiculed, and or rejected, the smallest incident, like a failed attempt at humor, can trigger the belief that the entire evening is a personal disaster. This projection can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy because we are convinced of its inevitability. 

Again, the obvious remedy is to become mindful of our susceptibility to this distortion, rationally assess the situation, and consider plausible explanations for the incident that triggered our catastrophizing.

CONTROL FALLACIES. A fallacy is a belief based on unreliable evidence and unsound arguments. As we discussed earlier, we cognitively distort to reinforce or justify our self-beliefs and validate our irrational attitudes, rules, and assumptions – how we perceive, think, and behave. 

Control Fallacy is the conviction that (1) something or someone has power and control over things that happen to us, or (2) we hold that type of power over others. We either believe events in our lives are beyond our control, or we assume responsibility for everything.

When we feel externally controlled, we see ourselves as weak and powerless. We blame outside forces (fate, the weather, authority figures) for the adversity in our lives. We accuse our gender, race, sexuality, weight, income, and education rather than assume responsibility for our actions. A health scare becomes an act of god, the philanderer blames his wife for leaving him, and our failing grade is because our instructor has a personal grudge. 

Conversely, the fallacy of internal control is when we assume unrealistic responsibility for everything. We believe we have power and influence over other people’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We blame ourselves for their mishaps and misfortunes. It is our fault our friend turns to drugs because we weren’t supportive. Our supervisor suffers a heart attack because we continually miss deadlines. 

Both external and internal control fallacies correspond to our SAD-induced feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness. 

We believe external forces control us because we feel powerless over what happens to us. Our sense of hopelessness tells us any effort towards remedy is futile. “They think I’m incompetent.” “She finds me unattractive.” “I don’t belong here.” We subsequently feel guilty for our inadequacy, and shame for our weakness. We wallow in self-pity, convinced that attempts at happiness are pointless. 

Our tendency to unjustifiably blame ourselves for our social anxiety disorder leads to internal control fallacies. Had we moderated our adolescent behavior, we claim, we could have prevented the onset. This leads us to believe we have control over other things we bear no responsibility for. “It’s my fault she’s unhappy.” “He drinks because I ignored him.” The belief we have let everyone down wreaks havoc on our emotional well-being and our sense of competence. 

These Control Fallacies inform us we are not assigning blame in the appropriate ways. We need to stop taking responsibility for problems we do not create and assume responsibility for our actions. That is only logical. Unfortunately, SAD subsists on our irrational thoughts and behaviors. Those of us living with social anxiety frequently use cognitive distortions because we feel trapped in its vicious circle, restricted from living a normal life. A fundamental component of recovery is learning how to identify our cognitive distortions to devise rational responses. 

EMOTIONAL REASONING is the catalyst for many of the other distortions. The irrational thought patterns that underscore our cognitive distortions stem from the SAD-provoked convictions we are helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless (the SAD four horsemen). For example, when we engage in Filtering, we selectively ignore the positive aspects of a situation, because of our life-consistent negative self-beliefs. This unbalanced perspective leads to Polarized Thinking, where perceive things only in black or white. Because of our negative self-appraisal, we assume everything that happens is our fault, and anything said derogatorily is a reference to us. That’s called Personalization, which is very much like internal blaming. How our Emotional Reasoning relates to the cognitive distortions most relevant to our social anxiety will become more evident as we explore them, individually, throughout this book. We can safely state that Emotional Reasoning is the progenitor of all of our cognitive distortions as they are ruled by our emotions.

Emotional Reasoning is feeling without thinking – relying on our emotions over objective evidence. It is best defined by the colloquialism, my gut tells me…  This emotional dependency dictates how we erroneously relate to the world. At the root of Emotional Reasoning is the belief that what we feel must be true. If we feel like a loser, then we must be a loser. If we feel guilty, then we must have done something wrong. All the negative things we feel about ourselves, others, and the world must be true because they feel true. Emotional Reasoning is an oxymoron. In recovery, resolving this opposition is the primary task at hand. 

Emotions are the reactions that we experience in response to our situations. The type of emotion a person experiences is determined by multiple factors including our core and intermediate beliefs, experiences, and the situational fear that triggers the emotion. Emotions by themselves have little relevance to the truth of a situation. They are products of what we think or assume is happening.

We are hard-wired to hearken to our emotions. We consider them first because they are unconscious and automatic. It is more natural to base our conclusions on feelings than on facts. If we have distorted thoughts and beliefs, then our emotions will reflect those distortions. Emotional Reasoning is not only dichotomous but also irrational. When we pass judgments and make decisions based on our feelings without supporting evidence, we are likely misinterpreting reality. 

We are all susceptible to Emotional Reasoning, and not all decisions made are wrong or destructive. It is healthy to stay in touch with our feelings assuming they correspond with reality. A balanced perspective embraces instinct, feelings, and experience as well as evidence. The challenge to us is that our SAD sustains itself on our irrationality, and our negative core and intermediate beliefs lead us to ignore evidence that contradicts them, compelling us to make poor decisions. 

FALLACY OF FAIRNESS is the unrealistic assumption that life should be fair. It is human nature to equate fairness with how well our personal preferences are met. We know how we want to be treated and anything that infringes upon seems unreasonable and emotionally unacceptable. Fairness is subjective, however. Two people seldom agree on what is fair. The fact that those of us living with SAD are predisposed to personalize does not make things any easier. 

We have been at our job longer, but the newer arrival gets the promotion. It may be the better management decision but, to us, it is blatantly unfair. The school bully is selected for the varsity team while we are sidelined to the practice squad. The fact he is a better player does little to mitigate our belief in the unfairness of the coach’s decision. Needless to say, these unsupportive decisions lead to anger, frustration, and self-pity. Envy is a common emotional reaction, especially when we compare ourselves to others who are more successful and feel life or circumstance has treated us unfairly. 

The concept of fairness varies, based on our experiences, culture, and environment. It is a personally biased assessment of how well our expectations, needs, and wants are met by others, institutions, and nature. When real life goes against our perceptions of fairness, as it often does, it generates negative emotions.

The belief that all things in life should be based on fairness and equality is a noble but unrealistic philosophy. We can strive for such things, but life’s vicissitudes have a will of their own. The obvious reality is that much of life is inequitable. People are self-oriented, institutions alternatively focused, and nature indeterminate. Wanting things to work in our favor is normal; expecting them to do so is irrational. 

We all have our ideas of how we like to be treated In personal interactions, but reciprocation is governed by the other, and it rarely comports with our expectations. As a result, we blame others for any adverse response rather than consider their expectations and our self-centered assumptions of fairness. 

The problem is exacerbated in those of us living with social anxiety because it subsists on our irrational thoughts and behaviors, which means that our expectations are often irrational as well. Ironically, we are not surprised when they are not met because we symptomatically anticipate and project negative outcomes. This does not stop us, however, from blaming ourselves or others when our negative prophecies are fulfilled.

The Fallacy of Fairness is often expressed in conditional assumptions. “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade.” Conditional conclusions allow us to avoid delegating true accountability. Studying does not always lead to comprehension, and our teacher bases grades on test results. ”If my parents had treated me better, I wouldn’t have social anxiety disorder.” The direct cause of emotional dysfunction is indeterminate, and blaming our parents or ourselves is irrational given the evidence.

It is advisable to stand outside the bullseye – to emotionally extract ourselves from an undesirable situation and evaluate it from multiple perspectives. Fairness is subjective, based on personal beliefs and experiences. Mindfulness of the needs and experiences of others is a product of recovery. Moderating our fears of social interaction allows us to entertain other points of view, and reveals the narrow-mindedness of fairness, which is just a state of mind. 

FILTERING. Our negative core and intermediate beliefs form in response to childhood disturbance and the onset of our emotional dysfunction. Core beliefs are more rigid in those of us living with social anxiety because we tend to store information consistent with negative beliefs. Our intermediate beliefs establish our attitudes, rules, and assumptions. These beliefs govern our perceptions and, ostensibly, remain as our belief system throughout life. Even if irrational or inaccurate, our beliefs define how we see ourselves in the world. When we decline to question these beliefs, we act upon them as though they are real and reasonable, ignoring evidence that contradicts them. This produces a cognitive bias – a subconscious error in thinking that causes us to misinterpret information and make irrational decisions. 

To compound this, humans have an inherent negativity bias. We are genetically predisposed to respond more strongly to adversity, which aggravates our SAD symptoms. We anticipate the worst-case scenario. We expect criticism, ridicule, and rejection. We worry about embarrassing or humiliating ourselves. We project unpleasant outcomes that become self-fulfilling prophecies. It is not surprising that we readily turn to Filtering and Polarized Thinking to justify our irrational thought patterns. 

When we engage in Filtering, we selectively choose our perspective. Our tunnel vision gravitates toward the negative aspects of a situation and excludes the positive. This applies to our memories as well. We dwell on the unfortunate aspects of what happened rather than the whole picture. 

A person who consistently filters out negative information is someone with an excessively cheerful or optimistic personality. Conversely, a person who emphasizes gloom and doom is unhappy or defeatist. Those of us living with SAD tend to mirror the latter. We filter out positive aspects of our life, choosing to dwell on situations and memories that support our negative self-image. This creates an emotional imbalance due to the exclusion of healthy thoughts and behaviors. We view ourselves, the world, and our future through an unforgiving lens.

Negative filtering is one of the most common cognitive distortions in anxiety because it sustains our toxic core and intermediate beliefs. Our pessimistic outlook exacerbates our feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. We accentuate the negative. A dozen people in our office celebrate our promotion; one ignores us. We obsess over the lone individual and disregard the goodwill of the rest. By dwelling on the unpleasantness, we reinforce our feelings of undesirability and alienation. 

To effectively challenge our tendency to filter information, we need to identify the situation(s) that provokes our anxiety and the corresponding ANTs (automatic negative thoughts). From there, we analyze the unsoundness of our reaction and devise a rational response. Initially, the conversion process is exacting, but with time and practice, it becomes reflexive and spontaneous. Cognitive behaviorists call it ARTs – automatic rational thoughts. 

The term maladaptive behavior was coined by Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy. It is prevalent in social anxiety disorder. Maladaptive means we tend to adapt wrongly (negatively) to situations. We must remain mindful that our symptoms encourage a negative perspective and adjust accordingly.

HEAVEN’S REWARD FALLACY is when we put other people’s needs ahead of our own with an expectation of reciprocation. Contrary to others who share this cognitive distortion, SAD persons are not seeking heavenly reward in the afterlife, but acknowledgment in this one. 

We continually say yes to others while denying ourselves, We tell ourselves our motives are selfless, but we do it out of neediness and loneliness. We are consummate enablers trying to compensate for our feelings of undesirability and worthlessness. Rather than setting boundaries, we allow ourselves to be bullied and taken advantage of, seeking respect and appreciation. When we are denied, our disappointment leads to bitterness and resentment.

You are an exemplary office worker – always on time, and willing to go the extra mile. When your co-workers fall behind, you always offer to pick up the slack even if it means staying late or working on the weekend. Your desk is organized, you dress for success, and complete your assignments with diligence and efficiency. You eagerly anticipate a promotion at the end of the quarter. 

The management hires someone from without the organization. Your disappointment turns to anger and resentment. When the company distributes the annual bonuses, yours does not reflect the recognition you think you deserve. Colleagues move on to better employment, but you have spent so much time ingratiating yourselves with management, you have not considered viable alternatives. You mire yourself in The Fallacy of Fairness and your resentment turns to sullenness and hostility. 

People who engage in Heaven’s Reward Fallacy undervalue their worth and significance and have poor self-awareness. It is easier to take on the needs and responsibilities of others rather than face our fears and anxieties. Our actions are self-serving rather than noble. True altruism does not expect reciprocation.

Recovering our self-esteem is an essential element of recovery and cannot be second-tiered. Due to our disruption in natural human development, we are subject to significantly lower implicit and explicit self-esteem relative to healthy controls. Our negative core and intermediate beliefs stemming from childhood disturbance and onset are directly implicated. Our symptomatic fears and anxieties aggravate this deficit.

We rediscover and regenerate our self-esteem through the integration of historically and clinically practical approaches designed to help us become mindful of our inherent strengths, virtues, and achievements, and their propensity to replace our SAD-induced negative self-beliefs and image.

JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS is when we judge or decide something without having all the facts to substantiate our conclusion. It is also fortune-telling and mind-reading. We jump to conclusions when we assume to know what another person is feeling or why they act the way they do. When we form our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) we usually jump to conclusions because the only evidence we rely on is our fears and anxieties which are abstractions based on perceptions rather than reality. When we overgeneralize or filter our information to conclude “no one will like me” or “they will make fun of me,” we are Jumping to Conclusions. It is irrational to decide, without a crystal ball, how others will react to us or feel about us.

While our conclusions may be based on prior experience, assuming it will repeat itself in similar situations, while possible, is an implausible conclusion. Yes, we may say something stupid, or experience physical symptoms, but we don’t know that beforehand; we merely prophesize it will happen because it happened before. This is a common assumption among those of us with social anxiety.

Many of our other cognitive distortions are formed by Jumping to Conclusions. When we overgeneralize, we draw a broad conclusion or make a statement about something or someone that is not backed up by the bulk of evidence. When we label someone because of a single characteristic or event, we are Jumping to Conclusions. Likewise, when we personalize or take responsibility for something that has nothing to do with us. 

A primary SAD symptom is the fear of situations in which we believe we will be negatively appraised. We jump to the conclusion we will be criticized, ridiculed, or rejected, usually in advance of the situation. This distorted thinking causes us to react defensively or to avoid the situation entirely. If we assume we are the center of attention, we are not going to let our guard down. Often, we predict a bad outcome to a situation to protect ourselves if it happens. It helps us avoid disappointment.

If our significant other is in a bad mood, we assume we did something wrong. If our manager slams the door to the office, we imagine it’s because we were talking on the phone. If a stranger passes us on the sidewalk, it is because we are unappealing.

When we jump to conclusions, we create self-fulfilling prophecies. We avoid interacting with others because we have predicted a negative outcome. We avoid relationships because we tell ourselves they will not succeed. We avoid recovery because we know it will come to naught. We expect the worst possible consequences of a situation because we jumped to the conclusion things will not end well. Over the years, SAD has convinced us we are helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. It isn’t much of a leap for us to conclude that we are.

LABELING. When we label an individual or group, we reduce them to a single, usually negative, characteristic or descriptor based on a single event or behavior. As a result, we view them (or ourselves) through the label and filter out information that contradicts the stereotype. Labeling others leads to false assumptions, prejudice, and ostracizing. “Because he talks about his neighbor, he is a gossip.” 

Our SAD symptoms compel us to label others to support our preconceived notions about how others perceive us. Our conversational inadequacy might make us label the group as rude and dismissive. If we expect rejection, they are cold and untrustworthy. Because we feel like we are the center of attention, our social failure could lead us to label the entire room as mean or arrogant.

Labeling is common to SAD persons because we resent our symptomatic fears and anxieties, causing us to project our frustrations on those close to us. Labeling a friend or significant other can destroy relationships, especially when the label is for unintentional behavior. If we feel unsupported at a social event, we might label our companion cold or indifferent. In a similar vein, if a parent criticizes us at the dinner table, identifying them as cruel or hateful would not be inconceivable. Polarized Thinking, Filtering, Emotional Reasoning, Jumping to Conclusions, and Overgeneralization lend themselves to Labeling. 

We know how distressing it can be when someone labels us. When we-self label, we sustain our negative self-beliefs. “I didn’t meet anyone at the party; I am unlikeable.” Negatively labeling ourselves invariably results in thoughts that support our self-image. “I gave the wrong answer in class; I am stupid.” Self-labeling like inadequate and incompetent supports our sense of hopelessness and undesirability, and we often find our subsequent behaviors support those labels. 

Labels are irrational and myopic because they emerge from a single characteristic, behavior, or event and ignore the whole person or situation. Arbitrarily evaluating someone based on one isolated incident or behavior is almost always inaccurate. One negative behavior or incident does not define someone’s entire character. Rather than focusing on the specific element that generated the label, it is important to value the positive contributions of the person or group. We can observe ourselves and others with compassionate insight, recognizing the diversity of human thought and experience.

OVERGENERALIZATION. When we engage In this cognitive distortion, we draw broad conclusions or make statements about something or someone that are unsupported by the available evidence. We make blanket claims that can’t be proven or disproven. Everyone knows Suzie is a liar. To imply that everyone thinks Suzie is a liar is an exaggeration without consensus. A few colleagues may share our opinion, but not the whole world. We overgeneralize if our conclusion is based on one or two pieces of evidence while we ignore anything we know about to the contrary. 

Overgeneralization supports our negative self-beliefs and image. Our self-doubt is so intense if someone rejects us, we assume everyone will reject us. Because we persuade ourselves it is unlikely anyone would be interested in getting to know us, we avoid situations where that might occur. That aggravates our SAD-induced fears of interacting or talking with strangers and avoidance of social situations.

Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are usually overgeneralizations. “No one will like me.” “I’m a failure.” “She called me stupid.” “Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.” These self-defeating thoughts are based on our fears and anxieties rather than the available evidence. An example of overgeneralization would be the false assumption that, because you failed a test, you will never be able to pass the course.

We justify our prejudices by overgeneralizing. One bad apple in a group means everyone in the group is rotten. We make broad and inaccurate assumptions about that group based on this one person’s behavior. Overgeneralized thinking can cause us to wrongly judge entire groups of people, which is harmful to self and society.

This distortion inevitably leads to avoidance, limiting our willingness to experience things because we have self-prophesied what will happen based on it happening before. Similar to Filtering, where we ignore the positive and dwell on the negative, and Polarized Thinking, where we see things in black or white, overgeneralization is based on assuming the worst. Keywords that support this cognitive distortion include allevery, none, never, always, everybody, and nobodyOvergeneralization often tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy and is associated with generalized anxiety, social anxiety, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, and OCD.

The rational response to overgeneralization is to (1) consider the accuracy of the statement and consider the available evidence, and (2) identify the situation, fears, and ANTs that compel the need to cognitively distort in the first place.

PERSONALIZATION. If someone says to us, “don’t take it personally,“ we are likely engaging in Personalization. When we engage in this type of thinking, we assume that doings and events are directly related to us and that random remarks are personally relevant. For those of us living with social anxiety disorder, Personalization is symptomatic as in our fear of being criticized or ridiculed, or our perception we are the glaring center of attention in a room.

Personalization is the stepping-stone to internal blaming and internal control fallacies where we wrongly believe we are responsible for things we have little or nothing to do with. As I cautioned earlier, cognitive distortions are not cut-and-dried but ambiguous and overlapping 

Did you ever walk into a room, and everyone suddenly stops talking? If you assume they were talking about you, you are exhibiting an acute case of Personalization

Those of us living with SAD have difficulty understand things from the perspectives of others. Our self-centeredness drives us to assume unassociated incidents involve us. We imagine the world revolves around us which only aggravates our fears of saying or doing the wrong thing and embarrassing ourselves.

Another aspect of Personalization is when we compare ourselves to the achievements of others. If a coworker receives a commendation, we feel inadequate because we were not honored. Our need to personalize is underscored by our concerns about how others think about us. If we do not receive the acclaim to which we think we are entitled, we believe we are being judged unfairly. The rational response to someone receiving a commendation is to recognize their achievements, but our low self-esteem makes us envious. 

As children, we believe the world revolves around us, and fail to consider the viewpoints of others. We are cognitively incapable of considering the other probabilities. We assume our parents fight because we did something wrong. Most reasonable people grow out of this self-obsession, but SAD subsists on irrationality which makes us feel underappreciated and misunderstood.

Much of recovery focuses on the regeneration of our self-esteem through the renewed mindfulness of our character strengths, virtues, and achievements. 

POLARIZED THINKING. One of the symptoms of SAD is our compulsion to overanalyze our performance in a situation, tormented by our mistakes, our inept interaction, or our poor conversation skills. We preoccupy ourselves – often for days on end – with everything we think we did wrong, obsessing over what we should have done better. We tell ourselves unless a thing is done to perfection, it is not worth doing at all.

Perfectionism is not just the desire to do well; it is the need to be infallible. If we can’t be perfect, there is little point in bothering. Perfectionism exacerbates our social anxiety. We worry about appearing vacuous or inadequate, fearing exposure to our imperfections. 

In Polarized Thinking, we see things as absolute – black or white. There is no middle ground, no compromise. We are either brilliant or abject failures. Our friends are for us or against us. We do not allow room for balanced perspectives or outcomes. We refuse to give people the benefit of the doubt. Worse than our anxiety about criticism is our self-judgment. If we are not flawless and masterful, we must be broken and inept. There is no room for mistakes or mediocrity, “I failed my last exam; I fail at everything I try. I’m a loser.”

Like FilteringPolarized Thinking is selective. To remedy our dichotomous perspective, we identify the anxiety-provoking situation and examine our corresponding fears and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). From there, we analyze their inaccuracy and initiate rational responses

It is important to consider the holism and multiple perspectives of life’s events and replace the myopia of Filtering and the rigidity of Polarized Thinking with the kaleidoscope of viewpoints, interpretations, and possibilities.

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reinvigorate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Chapter 16: Recovery Mechanisms

Robert F.Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

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“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)

This is a draft of Chapter Sixteen – “Recovery Mechanisms” in ReChanneling’s upcoming book on moderating social anxiety disorder and its comorbidities. We present this as an opportunity for readers to share their ideas and constructive criticism – suggestions gratefully considered and evaluated as we work to ensure the most beneficial product to those with emotional dysfunction (which is all of us to some degree). Please forward your comments in the form provided below.

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Recovery Mechanisms

“Success depends upon previous preparation,
and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure.”
– Confucius

We are at war and social anxiety disorder is the enemy. Successfully challenging our fears and anxieties requires a strategy. A military strategist is someone skilled in planning the best way to gain an advantage against the enemy to achieve success. As strategists, we identify the vulnerabilities of the enemy and our wherewithal to exploit them. We build the case and create the blueprint for successful engagement. We develop the weapons, propagandize our neural network, and define the territory. Our strategy, techniques, and abilities are our weapons. We lead the forces of recovery; no one else can do that for us. Strategist Sun Tzu wrote extensively about enemy terrain and accessibility – entangling ground. narrow passes, and precipitous heights. The hostile terrain is our life-consistent negative thoughts and behaviors. To successfully negotiate it we utilize our character strengths, attributes, and achievements.  

Before executing our Structured Plan for Feared-Situations, we have additional key definitions to assimilate. 

Once again, a Situation is a set of circumstances – the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a particular place. A Feared-Situation is one that provokes fears and anxieties that negatively impact our emotional well-being and quality of life. Examples range from restaurants and the classroom to job interviews and social events. 

There are two types of situations. Anticipated and recurring situations are those that we know, in advance, provoke our fears and anxieties. Unexpected situations are those we do not anticipate that catch us by surprise. 

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, and images that occur in anticipation of or reaction to a situation. We touched upon them in Chapter Five. They are the unpleasant expressions of our negative self-beliefs that define who we think we are and who we think others think we are. (“No one will talk to me.” “I’ll do something stupid.” “I’m a loser.”) 

Identifying situations and unpacking associated fears and ANTs are crucial to recovery.

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As individuals living with social anxiety disorder and its comorbidities, we are challenged by a series of symptoms. Individually, we are not impacted by all of them or by the same ones as other SAD persons. Our issues are as distinctive as our experiences and personalities. The approaches to recovery are targeted to meet individual needs. Moderating our associated fears and corresponding ANTs demands an integrated and targeted approach. Through the following steps, we learn to: 

Identify our Feared Situation(s). Where are we when we feel anxious or fearful and what activities are involved (what are we thinking, what might we be doing)? Who and what do we avoid because of these insecure feelings? 

Identify our Associated Fear(s). One way to identify our anxiety is to ask ourselves the following: What is problematic for me in the situation? How do I feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)? What is my specific concern or worry? What is the worst thing that could happen to me? What do I imagine might happen to me?

Unmask our Corresponding ANT(s). We determine how we express our anxiety. What are our involuntary emotional expressions or images? How do we negatively self-label? What do we tell ourselves? “I am incompetent.” “I am stupid.”

Examine and Analyze Our Fear(s) and ANTs. What are the origins of our fears and anxieties? Discovery approaches include cognitive comprehension, introspection, psychoeducation, and the vertical arrow technique.

Generate Rational Responses. We become mindful of the irrationality and self-destructive nature of our fears and ANTs. We discover and analyze the cognitive distortions that we use to validate or reinforce our fears. Then we devise rational responses to counter our false assumptions. The character motivations of psychobiography and positive psychology are useful here.

Reconstruct Our Thought Patterns. Through proactive neuroplasticity and cognitive approaches, we convert our thought patterns by replacing or overwhelming our toxic thoughts and behaviors with healthy productive ones. The process is facilitated by the rapid, concentrated, neurological stimulation of DRNI (the deliberate, repetitive neural input of information). 

Devise a Structured Plan for Our Feared Situations(s). Utilizing our learned tools and techniques, we develop a plan to challenge our situational fears and anxieties by devising a strategy and incorporating targeted coping mechanisms.

Practice the Plan in Non-Threatening Simulated Situations. We strengthen our rational responses by repeatedly implementing the Plan in practiced exercises including role play and other workshop interactivities. Affirmative Visualization is a valuable scientific tool.

Expose Ourselves to the Feared Situation. We challenge our anxieties and corresponding ANTs on-site in real life. This transpires after a suitable period of graded exposure to facilitate the reconstruction of our neural network and a familiarity with the prescribed tools and techniques. 

Workshop participants are asked to list their top five anxiety-provoking situations. First on George’s list was speaking in front of a group or audience. His corresponding fears were that he would not be taken seriously and be overwhelmed as the center of attention. His automatic negative thoughts were “I will be criticized” and “They will ridicule my anxiety.” Rational responses to these fears and ANTs are multiple. Among others, George chose “I deserve to be here” and “I am as worthy as everyone else.” Using this information, he created his Structured Plan for Feared-Situations.

Coping Strategies and Mechanisms

A coping strategy is our plan of action, and coping mechanisms are the tools or weapons we utilize to implement our strategy. To paraphrase the strategic offensive principle of war, “The best defense against social anxiety is a good offense” There are many moving parts to a counteroffensive requiring different levels of responsibility and expertise. At the top, we have our military strategists like Napoleon, Hannibal, and Eisenhower whose roles were to develop structured plans of action to outmaneuver the opponent. In recovery, this is our coping strategy designed to outmaneuver our social anxiety disorder – to moderate our fears and anxieties.

We then identify the actions or measurable steps needed to execute our strategy. In military jargon, those are the tactics implemented by field officers on the ground. In recovery, these are our coping mechanisms. A definitive strategy also identifies what resources are needed to implement the tactics. On the battlefield, the resources are the infantry, the training, and the equipment. In recovery, we are all these.

This process of strategizing is not linear or trickle-down, but complementary to its accessible assets. A smart military strategist plots the counteroffensive around the available weaponry, the expertise of the field officers, and the numbers and capabilities of the ground troops. In recovery, our coping strategy is fashioned around our ability to execute it. In Chapters Nineteen and Twenty-One, we explore some of the coping mechanisms that support our efforts.

In recovery, we do not have strategists to plan our counteroffensive nor officers on the ground to tactically implement it. We are the generals, the field officers, and the foot soldiers. The onus of recovery is on us. We are in an enviable position; recovery through proactive neuroplasticity empowers us to take control of our emotional well-being and quality of life. Master orator, William Jennings Bryan never became president but was the youngest person in U.S. History to be nominated – three times. He wrote, “Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”

Coping Strategies

There are maladaptive and adaptive coping strategies. Since maladaptive is particular to social anxiety disorder, we focus on adaptive coping strategies to counter our negative thoughts and behaviors. Experts tout problem-focused strategies, emotional-focused strategies, and a plethora of others. Multiple strategies are used in recovery including response-focused and cognitive-focused.

We use our coping mechanisms and skills in anticipated and recurring situations as well as unexpected ones. For the latter, we cultivate generic skills useful in any stressful occasion. For predetermined situations, we devise a structured plan incorporating predetermined coping mechanisms.

Strategizing how to combat our feared-situations is a crucial element of recovery. When we are facing anticipated and recurring situations, we know what to expect. We have advanced knowledge of the logistics of the event or occasion and have identified our associated fears and corresponding automatic negative thoughts.

Knowing how to effectively respond to anticipated situations is challenging enough. Devising fluid strategies to help us moderate unexpected situations is comparable to planning for the tactics used in guerilla warfare. Our social anxiety will use any means to control our emotional well-being including ambushes, sabotage, raids, petty warfare, and hit-and-run tactics. These are the elements of unexpected situations. Guerilla warfare is conducted by a lesser force to subdue a stronger, more formidable force. Your social anxiety disorder is small and inferior to our inherent and developed character strengths, virtues, and attributes. That is why SAD has to resort to devious, underhanded, and manipulative tactics. Chapter Eighteen will examine the most effective coping strategies and mechanisms for unexpected situations, and those that support anticipated and recurring situations will be outlined in Chapter Twenty.

Coping Mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are tools and techniques that we consciously or unconsciously use to moderate stress and reduce the neurotransmissions of our fear and anxiety-provoking hormones, cortisol and adrenaline. They range from practiced skills we learn in recovery (e.g., slow talk and progressive muscle relaxation), to instinctual reactions to stress like going for a walk or listening to music. Healthy coping mechanisms are adaptive – positive contributions to our emotional well-being. Cognitive coping mechanisms include introspection and affirmative visualization – ways to mentally improve our response to situations. Behavioral coping mechanisms are interactive distractions – activities to moderate our fears and anxieties.

Defense Mechanisms

Unhealthy or negative coping mechanisms are called defense mechanisms – unhealthy safeguards against the thoughts and emotions that are difficult for our conscious minds to manage. Defense mechanisms are mostly unconscious psychological responses that protect us from our fears and anxieties. They are methods of avoidance – unhealthy responses to SAD-induced conflicts – that offer temporary respite but do little to moderate our anxieties in the long term. Substance abuse, denial, projection, regression, sublimation, and cognitive distortions are common defense mechanisms.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

Without coping mechanisms, healthy or otherwise, we can experience decompensation – the inability or unwillingness to generate effective psychological coping mechanisms in response to stress – resulting in personality disturbance or disintegration.

Those of us living with SAD are preoccupied with the future, predicting how things will go wrong. We avoid situations because we anticipate making a fool of ourselves. We dread exposing ourselves to criticism and ridicule. Not only are we consumed with anxiety during situations, but we confront it days in advance. We create self-fulfilling prophecies of miserable and lonely solutions. Before recovery, I recall repeatedly circling the block before a social situation to bolster my courage. More often than not, I ended up in the bar rather than the event. Not only did I fear letting myself down, but I guaranteed it through my avoidance. I had no strategy.

There are literally hundreds of coping mechanisms that can make those stressful moments in life easier to handle, including yoga, dancing, meditation, eating, painting, writing, and streaming a movie. Anything that takes us out of the stress of the moment and reduces the flow of those pesky chemical hormones. The mechanisms detailed in these chapters are designed specifically to moderate the symptoms of our social anxiety in feared-situations.

Going into a problematic situation without a strategy and functional coping mechanisms is jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. In the words of the pioneer of moderation, Benjamin Franklin: “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” 

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Comments. Suggestions. Constructive Criticism

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reinvigorate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.  

Social Anxiety Workshop

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

Space is Limited
REGISTER EARLY

ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral self-modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem disrupted by the adolescent onset of our social anxiety.  

“I would like to say thank you for a well-organized learning experience. I can’t tell you how much I really appreciate this program. I feel so confident and ready to utilize these resources/tools you’ve provided.” – Trish D.

  • Recovery: regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.
  • Empowerment: becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.
  • Neuroplasticity: the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections in response to learning or experience.
  • Proactive: controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.
  • Proactive Neuroplasticity: defining our emotional well-being through DRNI – the deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information.

Cumulative evidence that a toxic childhood leads to psychological complications has been well-established, as has the recognition of early exploitation as a primary causal factor in lifetime emotional instability. SAD onsets during adolescence due to childhood physical, emotional, or sexual disturbance. This disturbance – real or imagined, intentional or accidental – generates negative core and intermediate self-beliefs and disrupts the natural psychological development of self-esteem.

Our Recovery and Self-Empowerment Groups

A group provides support and information. It is a safe and confidential space where participants can share experiences in a collegial and supportive environment. ReChanneling currently facilitates three Meetup Groups with over 1,000 members.

  • Social Anxiety and Proactive Neuroplasticity
  • LGBTQ+ Social Anxiety Group
  • ReChanneling: Recovery and Empowerment

Our Online Recovery Workshop

The ultimate objectives of our online Recovery Workshops are to:

  • Provide the tools to replace years of toxic thoughts and behaviors with rational, healthy ones, dramatically moderating the self-destructive symptoms of anxiety, depression, and comorbidities.
  • Compel the rediscovery and reinvigoration of our character strengths, attributes, and achievements.
  • Design a targeted self-behavioral modification process to help us re-engage our social comfort and status.
  • Provide the means to control our symptoms rather than allowing them to control us.

Logistics. Individually targeted workshops are most effective with a maximum of ten on-site participants, and eight participants for the current online workshops. 

“Rechanneling’s Social Anxiety Workshop produced results within a few sessions, with continuing improvement throughout the workshop and behind.” – Liz D.

Proactive neuroplasticity is supported by DRNI – the deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information. What is that information? How do we construct it? The objective is to ensure the information effectively enables positive behavioral modification. How do we expedite this? What are the best tools and techniques? There is no one right way to recover or achieve a personal goal or objective. So also, what helps us at one time in life may not help us at another.

It is myopic of recovery programs to lump us into a single niche. Individually, we are a conglomerate of personalities―distinct phenomena generated by everything and anything experienced in our lifetime. Every teaching, opinion, belief, and influence develops our personality. It is our current and immediate being and the expression of that being, formed by core beliefs and developed by social, cultural, and environmental experiences. It is our inimitable way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. It is who we are, who we think we are, and who we believe we are destined to become. 

The insularity of cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychologies, and other approaches cannot comprehensively address the complexity of the personality. That requires an integration of multiple traditional and non-traditional approaches, developed through client trust, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation. Environment, experiences, and connectedness reflect our choices and aspirations. 

An integration of science and east-west psychologies captures the diversity of human thought and experience. Science gives us proactive neuroplasticity; cognitive-behavioral self-modification and positive psychology’s optimal functioning are western-oriented; eastern practices provide the therapeutic benefits of Abhidharma psychology and the overarching truths of ethical behavior. Included are targeted approaches utilized to regenerate self-esteem and motivation.

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing … and above all, your innate compassion.”Jan Parker, PhD.

Neuroplasticity is evidence of our brain’s constant adaptation to learning. Scientists refer to the process as structural remodeling of the brain. It is what makes learning and registering new experiences possible. All information notifies our neural network to realign, generating a correlated change in thought and behavior. 

Proactive neuroplasticity is our capacity to dramatically expedite learning by consciously compelling our brain to repattern its neural circuitry. The deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information (DRNI) empowers us to proactively transform our thoughts and behaviors, creating healthy new perspectives, mindsets, and abilities. Proactive neuroplasticity is the most effective means of learning and unlearning because the process accelerates and consolidates neural restructuring. 

Cognitive-Behavioral Self-Modification (CBSM) focuses on replacing our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) with rational ones (ARTs). It is most productive when used in concert with other approaches. CBSM is structured, goal-oriented, and solution rather than etiology-driven because the objective is modifying our current condition to improve our emotional well-being and quality of life. The ‘self-modification’ module emphasizes the self-reliance and personal accountability demanded by proactive neuroplasticity.

Positive psychology emphasizes our inherent and acquired character strengths, attributes, and achievements that lead toward optimum functioning. Its psychological objective is to encourage us to shift our negative outlook towards a more optimistic perspective to support the motivation, persistence, and perseverance important to recovery and the pursuit of our goals and objectives. Positive psychology’s mental health interventions have proved successful in mitigating the symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other self-destructive patterns, producing significant improvements in emotional well-being.

“I like Robert’s SAD recovery program, especially how it’s taking many of my negative thoughts away and replacing them with positive ones. I also appreciate the others that are in our recovery group, as we all mingle quite well. And, of course, Robert is always there as nurturing and positive friend.” – Michael Z. 

Eastern psychology presents a system for understanding our psychological dispositions, processes, and challenges. It encourages us to foster good intentions, tolerance, wholesome and kind living, productive livelihood, positive attitude, self-awareness, and integrity – qualities that underscore the neural input of healthy and productive information.

Due to our negative core and intermediate self-beliefs generated by childhood disturbance and SAD onset, we are subject to latent self-esteem. Addressing this is an essential part of recovery and transformation. A fusion of clinically proven exercises helps us to redeem and develop our self-esteem and motivation – to appreciate our value and significance.

To comprehensively address the complexity of the personality, we devise individual-based solutions. Training in prosocial behavior and emotional literacy are useful supplements to typical approaches. Behavioral exercises and exposure cultivate our social skills. Positive affirmations have enormous subjective value. Data provide evidence for mindfulness and acceptance-based interventions. Motivational enhancement strategies help overcome our resistance to new ideas and concepts.

Workshop Components

Methods utilized in our Recovery Workshops include psychoeducation, cognitive comprehension, roleplay, and exposure.

Psychoeducation teaches us about the relationship between our thoughts, emotions, and physiological reactions. Complementarity is the inherent cooperation of mind, body, spirit, and emotions working in concert. Recovery is facilitated by their simultaneous mutual interaction.

Cognitive Comprehension involves correcting the exaggerated and irrational thought patterns that perpetuate our anxiety and depression. SAD twists reality to reinforce or justify our toxic behaviors and validate our irrational attitudes, rules, and assumptions. Becoming mindful of how we use these distortions and rationally responding invalidates them. 

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Roleplay. Participants act out various social roles in dramatic situations that, through comprehension and repetition help us learn how to cope with stress and conflicts.

Exposure. By utilizing graded exposure, we start with Situations that are easier for us to manage, then work our way up to more challenging tasks. This allows us to build our confidence slowly as we practice learned skills to ease our situational anxiety. By doing this in a structured and repeated way, we reduce our fears and apprehensions. In vivo exposure allows us to confront feared stimuli in real-world conditions.

Workshop Strategies May Include:

Positive Personal Affirmations
Character Resume
Distractions/Diversions
Vertical Arrow Technique
Invalidating Shame and Guilt
Purpose and Persona
Positive Autobiography

Coping Mechanisms
Affirmative Visualization
Slow-talk, Small-talk
Cognitive Distortions
ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
Feared Exposure Situations

“I have never encountered such an efficient professional … His work transpires dedication, care, and love for what he does.” –  Jose Garcia Silva, PhD, Composer Cosmos          

These are active, structured Workshops for people who are willing and motivated to challenge the symptoms of their emotional dysfunction and regenerate their self-esteem and motivation. This means we only work with committed individuals who are willing to fully participate in the discussions and exercises. 

The current workshops consist of ten online weekly sessions, meeting in the evening and lasting roughly 1-1/2 hours. There is minimal homework (approximately 1 hour weekly) limited to self-evaluation. After completion of the Recovery Workshop, we conference monthly for the following year, at no cost, to support the recovery process. 

For low-income students, weekly tuition is less than the cost of a movie and popcorn.

The cost of the workshop is on a sliding scale:

  • $40 per session if income is $100,000+
  • $35 per session if income is $75,000 – $99,999
  • $30 per session if income is $50,000 – $74,999
  • $25 per session if income is less than $25,000 – $49,999
  • $20 per session if income is under $25,000.

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Individual support is available to a select few. 

For further information, to register, or to request an interview, please complete the following form.

Workshop applicants will be contacted to schedule an interview.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these,
“It might have been.”
 –  John Greenleaf Whittier

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reinvigorate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.  

I’m Right, You’re Not.

Robert F. Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the
pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI—deliberate,
repetitive, neural information.” WeVoice (Madrid)  

Cognitive Distortion #13: Always Being Right      

Our need to be right protects the fragile self-image sustained by our fears of criticism, ridicule, and rejection. To someone who engages in this cognitive distortion, being ‘right’ is more important than the truth or the feelings of others. Thoughts or opinions that contradict are harmful to our emotional structure. 

The core and intermediate beliefs of a person with social anxiety are rigid; we dismiss new ideas and concepts. Even when our belief system is inaccurate, it defines how we see ourselves in the world. If the facts don’t comport with our beliefs, we dispute or disregard them. When we decline to question our beliefs, we act upon them as though they are accurate and reasonable, ignoring evidence that contradicts – even if we doubt the veracity of our claims. Our insecurity is so severe, our maladjusted attitudes, rules, and assumptions run roughshod over the truth and the feelings of others.

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We store information that supports these beliefs, which generates a cognitive bias – a subconscious error in thinking that leads us to misinterpret information, impacting the accuracy of our perspectives and decisions. Our low implicit and explicit self-esteem keeps us on the defensive and compels the need to compensate for our perceptual lack of positive self-qualities. We ignore or contest anything that poses a threat, especially information inconsistent with what we assert to be true. The need to always be right can also reflect the narcissism evident in the irrational belief that we are the center of attention in any situation.

Because of our compulsion to always be right, we tend to ignore what others are saying. We avoid recognizing anything that might lead us to conclude we are mistaken. Even when we know we are wrong, we find it hard to admit it because it exacerbates our fears of ridicule and criticism. 

In situations where we are ill-advised to dispute our superiors or other authority figures, we subvert our need to be right. We bow to pressure and imply that we accept their truth, covertly convinced we are right, and they are not. This subservience forces us to give away our power, generating anger and resentment. We smile and agree with those who hold sway over us. but secretly envy their power, becoming irritated and bitter.

In our formative years, many of us were undervalued – subject to the circumstances of our childhood disturbance. Our parents may have been controlling or dismissive, our siblings overbearing. Some of us rarely experienced positive feedback or appreciation. As adults, we are driven to disregard thoughts and viewpoints that conflict with our own.

Always Being Right does not bode well for healthy relationships because we do not reciprocate shared issues or experiences. Counterfeit, ignoring, selective, and hostile listening devalue the concerns and opinions of others and inhibits the prospect of healthy connectivity. Being right is more important than establishing and maintaining friendships and intimacy. 

Recovery promotes considered and attentive listening skills – active communication where we value what is being said by the other. In empathic listening, we seek first to understand and then to be understood.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.  

Chapter 25: Affirmative Visualization

Robert F. Mulllen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)

This is a draft of Chapter Twenty-Five – “Affirmative Visualization” in ReChanneling’s upcoming book on moderating social anxiety disorder and its comorbidities. We present this as an opportunity for readers to share their ideas and constructive criticism – suggestions gratefully considered and evaluated as we work to ensure the most beneficial product to those with emotional dysfunction (which is all of us to some degree). Please forward your comments in the form provided below.

<Twenty-Five>
Affirmative Visualization

You are more productive by doing fifteen minutes of visualization
than from sixteen hours of hard labor.” — Abraham Hicks

There are multiple psychological approaches to visualization. Covert Conditioning focuses on eliminating a bad habit by imaginary repetition of the behavior, e.g., smoking cigarettes ad nauseam. In Covert Modeling, we choose a positive role model to visually emulate. Affirmative Visualization is graded exposure ― systematic desensitization that reduces stress and anxiety in a structured, less threatening environment. The process is another powerful tool in recovery from social anxiety and its common comorbidities, especially depression and substance abuse.

We label the process as Affirmative to emphasize the positivity of the visualizations to counteract our natural negative bias and predisposition to set negative outcome scenarios due to our consistent negative self-beliefs and images.

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Affirmative Visualization is scientifically supported through studies and the neuroscientific understanding of our neural network. Positive personal affirmations (PPAs) are concise, predetermined, positive statements. Affirmative Visualizations are positive outcome scenarios that we mentally recreate by imagining or visualizing them. Both are underscored by the Laws of Learning, which explain what conditions must be present for learning (or unlearning) to occur and how to accelerate and consolidate the process through proactive neuroplasticity. 

Through Affirmative Visualization, we envision behaving a certain way in a realistic scenario and, through deliberate repetition, attain an authentic shift in our behavior and perspective. It is a form of proactive neuroplasticity, and all the neural benefits of that science are accrued by visualization.

Our brain is in a constant mode of learning; it never stops realigning to information. It forms a million new connections for every input. Information includes experience, muscle movement, a decision, a memory, emotion, reaction, noise, or tactile impression. With each input, connections strengthen and weaken, neurons atrophy and others are born, learning replaces unlearning, energy dissipates and expands, beneficial hormones are neurally transmitted, and functions shift from one region to another. Proactively stimulating our brain with deliberate, repetitive neural information utilizing Affirmative Visualization accelerates and consolidates learning (and unlearning), producing a correlated change in thought, behavior, and perspective. These changes become habitual and spontaneous over time.

Our brain provides the same neural restructuring when we visualize doing something or when we physically do it; the same regions of our brain are stimulated. Just as our neural network cannot distinguish between toxic and productive information, it also does not distinguish whether we are experiencing something or imagining it. Thinking about picking up our left hand is, to our brain, the same thing as literally picking up our left hand.

The thalamus is the small structure within our brain located just above the stem between the cerebral cortex and the midbrain. It has extensive nerve connections to both. All information passes through the thalamus and onto the millions of participating neurons. By visualizing an idea or performance repeatedly for an extended period, we increase activity in the thalamus and our brain responds as though the idea is a real object or actually happening.

Our thalamus makes no distinction between inner and outer realities. It does not distinguish whether we are imagining something or experiencing it. Thus, any idea, if contemplated long enough, will take on a semblance of reality. If we visualize a solution to a problem, the problem is systemically resolved because visualizing activates the cognitive circuits involved with our working memory.

That correlates to our subconscious which cannot differentiate an imagined situation from a real one. Whatever we visualize or imagine, our subconscious believes it is actually happening.

Research shows that visualizing an event in advance improves our mental and physical performance. When we visualize what we want to achieve, we consciously source information that will improve our performance outcomes, dramatically improving the likelihood of success in the real situation.

Like our positive personal affirmations, Affirmative Visualization is a mental exercise that is most effective through repetition. Let us imagine a hypothetical feared-situation: You have to make a presentation to your classmates. You’ve never given a successful public speech before, but you have identified the reasons for your fears. Now recreate the scenario in your mind, just as you have planned it. Close your eyes and use your imagination to experience the entirety of the situation. Use all your senses as you walk yourself through the steps you have created in your Structured Plan for Feared-Situations.

See the room. You know the students and the instructor and where they are positioned. What are they wearing? Feel the atmosphere of the room. Is it warm, crowded, joyful? What does it smell like? Is the air stale or clean from the open windows? You have already devised your strategy and the actions or measurable steps that will help achieve that goal. You know how you are presenting yourself – your quality of character, your attitude, and how you are dressed for maximum effect. Find three stationary items in the room that you can focus on when you feel stressed or that rush of cortisol and adrenaline. You have created diversions in your presentation – a PowerPoint that you will transfer to a screen, and a laser pointer. Focus on your character and persona. Interact with small talk and slow talk. Imagine utilizing all the tools of recovery.

Allow for the unexpected – that is why you have prepared distractions and diversions. Give your presentation as you have rehearsed it a number of times. Grasp or lean on the podium. Work your PowerPoint and use the laser to emphasize the information on the slides.

Visualize the event and its successful outcome as many times as you can. Imagine each detail, your attitude, and the reaction of the audience. Mentally practice your walk, gestures, and posture. Use your slow talk for added emphasis. Imagine the influx of cortisol and adrenaline dissipating every time you take a deep breath or speak with practiced self-assurance. Set reasonable expectations. Not only will you exceed them just by showing up and speaking in front of the class but because you are well-rehearsed, and have a plan that covers every contingency.  

Through repetition, our subconscious mind has already witnessed a productive and successful presentation. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, we begin to think, speak, and behave in a way that is consistent with our newly formed self-belief that we are more than capable of achieving whatever we set out to do.

We can visualize mitigating anxiety and performing better, or we can envision being a more empathetic or competent individual. Our neural repatterning will help us achieve those goals. The more we visualize with a clear intent the more focused we become and the higher the probability of achieving our goal. It activates our dopaminergic-reward system, decreasing the neurotransmissions of anxiety and fear-provoking hormones, and accelerating and consolidating those that make learning more accessible. In addition, when we visualize, our brain generates alpha waves which, neuroscientists have discovered, can dramatically reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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Comments. Suggestions. Constructive Criticism.

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.  

Chapter 19: Coping Mechanisms for Unexpected Situations

Robert F. Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)

This is a draft of Chapter Nineteen – “Coping Mechanisms for Unexpected Situations” in ReChanneling’s upcoming book on moderating social anxiety disorder and its comorbidities. We present this as an opportunity for readers to share their ideas and constructive criticism – suggestions gratefully considered and evaluated as we work to ensure the most beneficial product to those with emotional dysfunction (which is all of us to some degree). Please forward your comments in the form provided below.

<19>
Coping Mechanisms for Unexpected Situations

“If you do not expect the unexpected,
you will not recognize it when it arrives.”
– Heraclitus

More sage advice from war strategist, Sun Tzu: “Attack is the secret of defense; defense is the planning of an attack.” In recovery, oucoping strategy attacks our fears and anxieties by devising a plan that considers all contingencies. We face two combat scenarios that call for combined and distinct strategies. We engage, knowing the terrain and logistics in advance, and we defend against the surprise attack. Both demand a planned and practiced counteroffensive. Logically, our campaign is more structured when we know what to anticipate. The unexpected requires a more presumptive approach. There are effective coping mechanisms for both situations, and those more adaptable to one or the other. Chapter Twenty-One focuses on coping mechanisms for anticipated and recurring situationsThis chapter focuses on those mechanisms that help us cope with the unanticipated. For that, we assemble what we will call our emergency preparedness kit. 

Since adaptability is not one of our strengths, we start with workshop activities that are easier for us to handle, then work our way up to more challenging responses. This form of recovery is called Graded Exposure or systematic desensitization. We challenge our feared situations in structured, less threatening environments before moving on to real exposure. This allows us to build up our confidence slowly by familiarizing ourselves with coping mechanisms through practice and repetition. We keep the training wheels on our bike until we have achieved the level of comfort and competence where we can ride safely with two. 

An emergency preparedness kit contains essentials like food and water, first-aid items, and shelter options. It might include prescriptions, utensils, extra clothing, flashlights, a compass, blankets, and tools. We do not know, in advance, the specific nature of the emergency, so we do the best we can by preparing multiple rational options. The same theory applies to our unexpected situation. We fashion our coping mechanisms to cover the multiple contingencies. 

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The bad news is that there are as many feared situations as there are imaginations. From barbershops and family holidays to social events and the public swimming pool, the situations that arise in workshops are personal and distinctive. Where are we when we feel its impact? What is the specific set of circumstances – the facts, conditions, and incidents? Who or what provokes our stress? None of this is knowable in unexpected situations. The good news is there are a limited number of symptoms to consider. Social anxiety disorder offers less than a dozen. The following list is provided by the Mayo Clinic. Others vary in presentation or description, but the symptoms are the same. I have provided this list before, but there is a lot of information to digest in this book – a subtle reminder of the importance of repetition.

  • Fear of situations in which we may be judged negatively
  • Worry about embarrassing or humiliating ourselves
  • Intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers
  • Fear that others will notice that we look anxious
  • Fear of physical symptoms that may cause us embarrassment, such as blushing, sweating, trembling, or having a shaky voice
  • Avoidance of doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment
  • Avoidance of situations where we might be the center of attention
  • Anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event
  • Intense fear or anxiety during social situations
  • Analysis of our performance and identification of flaws in our interactions after a social situation
  • Expectation of the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation.

This is a short list. Admittedly, the symptoms have broad implications, but when the box only has twelve crayons, there are not a lot of colors to pick from. Recognizing our symptoms is not difficult; distinguishing the triggers is challenging – the who, where, and why? Once we know those, we can associate our fears and corresponding ANTs. Even though we cannot know the specifics of an unexpected situation, we have enough information to determine the coping mechanisms best suited to accommodate and challenge the unexpected. 

Coping mechanisms are designed to fulfill one or all of our three recovery objectives. Cognitive and behavioral mechanisms replace or overwhelm our life-consistent negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy ones. Positive affirmations, rational response, and other positivity techniques produce rapid, concentrated, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network. Recognizing and emphasizing our strengths, virtues, and accomplishments regenerate our self-esteem. Healthy coping mechanisms are adaptive – positive contributions to our emotional well-being. 

Cortisol and adrenaline. We briefly touched on the significance of our fight-or-flight neurotransmissions.  Scientists have identified over fifty of these chemical hormones in the human body. They are the messengers that control our physiological functions – our metabolism, homeostasis, and reproduction. Their distribution is precise. Even slight changes in levels can cause significant disruption to our health and emotional well-being.

Cortisol and adrenaline trigger our fight-or-flight response – our instinctive reaction to stress. Produced by our brain’s amygdala, cortisol helps to regulate our blood pressure, circadian rhythm, and digestion. Adrenaline, transmitted by our adrenal glands, causes our air passages to dilate, redirecting more oxygen to our muscles. It relieves pain and boosts our body’s immune system. When these hormones are transmitted into the bloodstream, our body experiences a heightened state of physical and mental alertness. Blood vessels contract and send blood to the heart, lungs, and other major muscle groups. Normal amounts of cortisol and adrenaline are necessary to our basic survival, and in most cases, beneficial to our overall health and physiological well-being. Conversely, in stressful situations, the sudden influx of cortisol and adrenaline contributes to the physical and emotional symptoms that aggravate our fears and anxieties.

Chronic stress induced by our SAD symptomatology causes a higher and constant neurotransmission of cortisol and adrenaline into our system. Not only does this increase the risk of health problems like heart disease and stroke, but it contributes significantly to our anxiety and depression, causing problems with memory, cognition, and sleep patterns. Coping mechanisms dramatically reduce the influx of these neurotransmissions.

Coping Mechanisms for Unexpected Situations

Some coping mechanisms are so familiar and simplistic, we tend to reject them offhand. It is important to be mindful that our social anxiety compels us to resist healthy ideas and concepts. Just as there is no one right way to do or experience personal recovery, so also what helps us at one time in our life may not help us at another. It is prudent to consider all coping skills and have them available in all situations, and then utilized the ones that bring you the most relief in a particular circumstance. As the saying goes, if you refuse to sample the items on the menu, do not blame the chef when you go hungry. Anyone successful in their recovery will tell you these coping mechanisms are clinically trusted and highly effective. The following are useful in any type of feared situation.

Slow Talk

I begin with Slow Talk because it is one of my favorite coping skills. One annoying symptom of our social anxiety is our fear of physical betrayal. We have the tendency, in stressful situations, to reveal our anxiety through excessive blushing, sweating, or trembling, not to mention the very real possibility of disorientation and fainting. When we engage in conversation, especially with strangers, our voice often trembles and stutters. We speak unassertively, lowering our voice to a whisper, and speaking rapidly in a subconscious effort to minimize our presence. Slow Talk alleviates this concern and is effective anywhere or anytime we feel stress in personal interaction. Speaking slowly and calmly slows our physiological responses, alleviates rapid heartbeat, and lowers our blood pressure. As an added advantage, hold back any response for roughly five seconds. That deliberate delay not only reduces the flow of cortisol and adrenaline but also makes us appear thoughtful and confident. 

Small Talk

Small Talk is informal conversation that does not cover any functional or transactional topics. It is succinct, non-confrontational, and mundane communication that connects us with others in a stress-moderate environment. Small talk is practiced in a workshop as a part of graded exposure. This coping mechanism is an important asset to those of us who find it challenging to initiate or join a conversation. 

Controlled Breathing

Nerves are bundles of fibers that use electrical and chemical signals to transmit information from one body part to another. The vagus nerve is the longest in our body. It originates in the base of our brain and extends down our neck and through our diaphragm, heart, lungs, and digestive tract. It controls our heart rate and keeps our nervous system in check. Research shows that just as we proactively reconstruct our neural network, we can also prompt our vagus nerve to decrease the flow of cortisol and adrenaline and release GABA and serotonin for calm and relaxation. Scientists tell us that the simplest way to manipulate our vagus nerve is to practice controlled breathing. This abbreviated controlled breathing exercise takes roughly a minute. We can secretively perform it in a hallway or restroom without revealing our anxiety.  

Place one hand on your abdomen, just above your navel, and the other hand in the center of your chest. If you are worried about being observed, eliminate the hand gestures.

  • Open your mouth and exhale your breath. Allow the muscles in your upper body and shoulders to drop down and relax.
  • Hold your breath for roughly six seconds. 
  • Slowly inhale through your nose for six seconds. Expand your stomach as you pull air in.
  • Pause for a few moments – as long as is comfortable, then open your lips and gently exhale through your mouth while pulling your stomach in.
  • Repeat at least five times.

Distractions and Diversions.

Distractions are stationary physical elements we identify when confronted by an unexpected feared situation – a picture on the wall, a vase, mirror, or light fixture. Diversions are activities that fulfill the same function, e.g., becoming a greeter, dancing, or doing a survey of the guests’ reasons for attending. We establish items and preplan actions to divert our center of attention from the emotional distress of our anxiety to a physical action or mental reaction. The availability of distractions and diversions is only as limited as your imagination.

Obviously, devising distractions and diversions is easier in anticipated situations where we have some foreknowledge of the logistics. We know the locale, the agenda, and the personnel. We have the time to decide what stationery items to focus on, and what activities will work in our favor. This is not easily accomplished when we suddenly find ourselves thrust into a situation, assaulted by the rush of cortisol and adrenaline. Emotional dysfunction adversely impacts our short-term memory and concentration. The unanticipated emotions of our anxiety make it difficult to concentrate. There are exercises designed to achieve this level of spontaneous concentration, but it is advisable not to go overboard on our distractions and diversions. A couple of each is sufficient. With the other coping mechanisms, we have enough on our plate.

Positive Personal Affirmations. 

If we are working, assiduously, on our recovery, we have three, relevant positive personal affirmations in our repertoire at all times. We are repeating them throughout the day, accelerating and consolidating our neural restructuring. Utilizing them in stressful situations moderates anxiety and its physical components. It is common sense.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). 

Like controlled breathing, PMR takes less than a minute and can be performed surreptitiously in a corner of the room, a hallway, or a restroom. Each component of the exercise is held for roughly 10 seconds.

  • Raise your shoulders toward your ears… tighten the muscles there. Hold. Release.
  • Tighten your hands into fists. Very, very tight… as if you are squeezing a rubber ball very tightly in each hand. Hold. Release.
  • Your forehead – Raise your eyebrows, feeling the tight muscles in your forehead. Hold. Now scrunch your eyes closed. Hold it. Relax.
  • Your jaw – Tightly close your mouth, clamping your jaw shut. Your lips will also be tight. Hold it. Release
  • Breathe in deeply through your nose. Hold it. Release the air through your mouth. Repeat at least three times.

Rational Response

What is the difference between PPAs and Rational Responses? Positive personal affirmations are self-motivating and empowering statements that focus on the general aspects of our condition. A rational response is situationally specific. It is designed to rebut the automatic negative thoughts that correspond to our fears and anxieties in a particular situation. They focus on those stress triggers that impact us at a particular time in a particular place. 

Rational response is a mental response to an emotional challenge. When confronted by our fears and corresponding ANTs, we ask ourselves, “How logical are these fears?” “ What is the worst that can happen?”The answers to those are our rational responses.

Example: Recently promoted, Nancy is required to participate in a company strategy session. She recognizes it is a feared-situation. She is anxious because it will include her more experienced contemporaries (mostly male) who are unfamiliar. She needs to make a good impression in an alpha-male competitive environment. She fears her more knowledgeable counterparts will recognize her shortcomings, criticize her, and reject her as one of their peers. Her corresponding ANT is “I will be judged and criticized.” Her rational responses might include, I belong here as much as anyone, “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t qualified,” and “I am equal to any person here.”

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Do not be fooled by the simplicity and familiarity of these coping mechanisms. Our first reaction is to dismiss them as unproductive because of our resistance to rational concepts and our general sense of futility. Nothing has ever worked before, why should we expect that to change? Of course, the answer is, we have been doing all the wrong things. If something feels right to a SAD person, you can count on it being counterproductive. SAD is clever and manipulative. I tell my clients, “Trust your instincts. After you’ve spent a few weeks in recovery.”

We are not limited to the coping mechanisms outlined, but it is important not to overwhelm ourselves. One of the general principles of war is simplicity. Our strategy should be clear and concise, utilizing mechanisms that are personally productive, well-practiced, and comfortable.

In Chapter Twenty-One we will focus on coping mechanisms that are geared towards moderating our fears and apprehensions of anticipated and recurring situations.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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Comments. Suggestions. Constructive Criticism.

*          *          *

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

ReChanneling: Updates and Happenings, Winter 2022-23.

Matty Saven
Media Consultant

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.   

Video #7: Constructing Our Neural Information

ReChanneling uploaded the seventh video installment on Proactive Neuroplasticity. Neural information is constructed by establishing our goal, identifying the objectives or steps we take to implement that goal, and determining the Information – the self-affirming or motivating statement we deliberately and repetitively input into our neural network. We want our information to be authentic and of sound construction to engage the full capacity of positive neural response. The integrity of our goal, objectives, and information correlates to the durability and efficacy of neural restructuring.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

These and other instructional videos are currently hosted by YouTube, BitChute, ReChanneling, Regimed Pharmacy, and other supporting organizations.

Workshops

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Upcoming Book (2023)

Multiple draft chapters from ReChanneling’s book on moderating social anxiety disorder and its comorbidities are posted on our website. We present them as an opportunity for readers to share their ideas and constructive criticism – suggestions gratefully considered and evaluated as we work to ensure the most beneficial product to those with emotional dysfunction (which is all of us to some degree). LINK.

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Clio’s Psyche and Other Publications

Dr. Mullen’s article “Utilizing Psychobiography to Moderate Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder” is recently published in the Winter 2022 issue of Clio’s Psyche (Volume 18, Issue 2). The peer-reviewed, scholarly journal, founded in 1994, is published by the Psychohistory Forum, holding regular scholarly meetings in Manhattan and at international conventions.

Mullen’s “Broadening the Parameters of the Psychobiography” in Psychobiographical Illustrations on Meaning and Identity in Sociocultural Contexts has been uploaded to ResearchGate and Academia.edu. Edited by C.-E. Mayer, P. Fouche, R. van Niekerk, the book is published by Palgrave-Macmillan. Contact us to request a copy.

LINK to Other Publications

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“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI—deliberate, repetitive, neural information.”— WeVoice (Spain)

“ReChanneling’s Social Anxiety Workshop produced results within a few sessions … I’m now much more at ease in situations that were major sources of anxiety and avoidance just a few months ago. The shared experience of working through social anxiety with other people who “get it” is powerful, and I’ve felt Dr. Mullen is truly committed to our growth and recovery.”   — Liz D.

“I like Robert’s SAD recovery program, especially how it’s taking many of my negative thoughts away and replacing them with positive ones. I also appreciate the others that are in our recovery group, as we all mingle quite well. And, of course, Robert is always there as nurturing and positive friend.” — Michael Z.

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Academia.edu

Academia.edu continues to offer two ReChanneling courses: Neuroscience and Happiness: A Guide to Neuroplasticity and Positive Behavioral Change and Social Anxiety in the LGBTQ+ Community.

Latest Posts

… and, of course, everything on the ReChanneling website is constantly updated as the program continues to evolve and flourish.

Discussion Groups

ReChanneling currently facilitates over 1000 individuals with social anxiety disorder in our two discussion groups. Social Anxiety and Proactive Neuroplasticity and LGBTQ+ Social Anxiety Group.

A third discussion group, ReChanneling: Recovery and Empowerment focuses on proactive neuroplasticity in the pursuit of goals and objectives.

Workshops and Speaking Engagements

  • January 3rd — Pride Toastmasters
  • January 26th March 30th — Social Anxiety Disorder Workshop
  • January 28th  — Empowerment with Proactive Neuroplasticity (Online)
  • February 24th Proactive Neuroplasticity: Lake Shore Unitarian Society, Winnetka, IL 
  • February 26th – April 10th — Proactive Neuroplasticity Empowerment Workshop

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.  

Chapter 12: Positive Personal Affirmations

Robert F. Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChannelng

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)

This is a draft of Chapter Twelve – ‘Positive Personal Affirmations” in ReChanneling’s upcoming book on moderating social anxiety disorder and its comorbidities. I present this as an opportunity for readers to share their ideas and constructive criticism – suggestions that I gratefully consider and evaluate as I work to ensure the most beneficial product to those with emotional dysfunction (which is all of us to some degree). Please forward your comments in the form provided below.

<Twelve>
Positive Personal Affirmations

The positive thinker sees the invisible,
feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
Winston Churchill

One of the most effective ways to input neural information is through positive personal affirmations (PPAs) – our self-empowering, motivating statements of purpose. Practicing positive personal affirmations is an extremely productive form of DRNI or the deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information. 

On the surface, creating positive personal affirmations (PPAs) sounds easy, but it is deceptively complex for SAD persons. The theory is by deliberating repeating PPAs, the power of suggestion instigates positive changes in our thoughts and behaviors. We persuade ourselves to believe what we tell ourselves. Those of us living with social anxiety disorder, however, are not so easily fooled. Years of negative self-beliefs cannot simply be overwhelmed by a few choice words. It is difficult enough to say something self-supportive, much less believe it. 

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I know many of you are skeptical. SAD drives us to distrust unfamiliar ideas and concepts. How can anything this simple contribute so significantly to the restructuring of our neural network? Our resistance to recovery and positive reinforcement is robust. Since childhood, we have been badgered by parents and teachers to think positively, but they never understood the science. Cajoling someone to do something without explanation is like teaching a puppy to walk on its hind legs. It eventually learns, but only under duress, and probably resents us. It also does not perform without an audience. 

Many of us disparage the new-age implications of PPAs. Even when we become mindful of the obvious benefits of positive reinforcement in neural realignment, we dismiss it as silly and boring. Nonetheless, if we do the work – if we construct three viable PPAs and repeat them at least five times a day for one week, we will experience a perceptible change in our attitude and outlook on life. Trust me on this; I have experienced and witnessed the change.

That’s why mindfulness of the science behind proactive neuroplasticity is so important. If our PPAs meet the criteria for good information, our neural network will recognize them and restructure accordingly, whether we believe our information or not. Remember, our brain doesn’t think; it is an organic reciprocator. It doesn’t distinguish healthy from toxic information. Positive information in, positive energy reciprocated in abundance. Conversely, negative information in, negative energy reciprocated in abundance. So, telling ourselves PPAs are a waste of time because we don’t believe in them is not only self-annihilating but also incorrect. 

In defining his counteroffensive in war, Sun Tzu wrote, “Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.” That is what we are doing with the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of our PPAs. We are breaking down our brain’s resistance to healthy thoughts and behaviors due to our life-consistent negative self-beliefs by barraging it with positive information. Executing PPAs properly initiates the rapid, concentrated, neurological stimulation that causes positive neural chain reactions. PPAs are the most effective form of DRNI. That they also help us focus on goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds should confirm their value. 

Neurons don’t act by themselves but through neural circuits that strengthen or weaken their connections based on electrical activity. The deliberate, repetitive,neural input of information compels neurons to fire repeatedly, causing them to wire together. The more repetitions, the more robust the new connections. 

Neuroscientist Donald Hebb was a pioneer in establishing the correlation between psychology and neuroscience as it relates to behavior. Hebbian Learning is a complex algorithm that is best summarized as “neurons that fire together wire together.” That means the simultaneous activation of nearby neurons leads to an increase in the strength of synaptic connections between them. While our input of information is not simultaneous no matter how quickly we repeat it, the corresponding reactivity of participating neurons produces the same response. Proactive neuroplasticity accelerates and consolidates learning by causing neural circuits to strengthen and power information.

In addition, as we now know, multiple repetitions of positive information activate millions of neurons that reciprocate that energy in abundance. PPAs decrease the flow of the fear and anxiety-provoking hormones, cortisol and adrenaline while simultaneously producing hormones for memory, learning, and concentration. PPAs amplify the activity of our axon pathways, creating higher levels of BDNF (brain-derived neural factor) proteinsWe accelerate learning and unlearning through repetition.

Like any neural input of information, PPAs spark receptor neurons that forward positive energy to millions of participating neurons, causing a cellular chain reaction in multiple interconnected areas of our brain. A colleague visualizes her PPAs as holiday fireworks. The receptor neuron is the match, the sensory and postsynaptic neurons are the fuse, and the cacophony of colors and sounds simulate the neural chain reaction. 

Three PPAs repeated five times, three times daily generates forty-five cellular chain reactions, dramatically accelerating and consolidating the restructuring of our neural network. The process takes approximately five minutes out of our day.

We outlined eight rules for productive neural information in Chapter 10. Mindful of the value of repetition for learning and unlearning, let’s review these criteria one more time.

Rational. The only logical recourse to irrational thoughts and behaviors.

Reasonable. Unreasonable aspirations get us nowhere.

Possible. If we are incapable of achieving our goal, there it is unreasonable to pursue it.

Positive. Negative information is counterproductive to positive neural restructuring. 

Goal-focused. If we do not know our destination, we will not know it when we arrive. 

Unconditional. Our commitment must be certain.

First-person present or future. The past is irrevocable.

Concise. Succinct and easily memorized.

The most effective PPAs are calculated and specific to our intention. Are we challenging the negative thoughts and behaviors of our social anxiety? Are we reaffirming the character strengths and virtues that support recovery and transformation? Are we focused on a specific challenge? What is our end goal – the personal milestone we want to achieve? 

PPAs are only one example of the positive coping mechanisms we use in recovery. A structured plan to challenge our feared situations incorporates Rational Responses to our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs); Character Focus and Persona support our clearly defined Purpose and overall Strategy, while our Projected Positive Outcome predetermines the realization of our efforts. Affirmative Visualizations are positive outcome scenarios that we mentally recreate to counteract our natural negative bias and our predisposition to set negative outcomes compatible with our negative self-beliefs and images. These and other mechanisms are explained in detail when we begin to construct our Plan for Exposure Situations, and they are all supported by the positive construction of our information.

We are engaged in a war that is not easily won. It is a life-consuming series of battles. The process of proactive neuroplasticity is theoretically simple but challenging, due to the commitment and endurance required for the long-term, repetitive process. We do not don tennis shorts and advance to Wimbledon without decades of practice with rackets and balls; philharmonics cater to pianists who have spent years at the keyboard. Neural restructuring requires a calculated regimen of deliberate, repetitive, neural information that is not only tedious but also fails to deliver immediate tangible results, causing us to readily concede defeat and abandon hope in this era of instant gratification. Fortunately, the universal law of compensation anticipates this. The positive impact of proactive neuroplasticity is exponential due to the abundant reciprocation of positive energy and the neurotransmissions of hormones that generate the motivation to persevere. Proactive neuroplasticity utilizing positive personal affirmations dramatically accelerates and consolidates learning and unlearning.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.  

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Robert F. Mullen, PhD
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Cognitive Distortion #7: Overgeneralization

When we engage In this cognitive distortion, we draw broad conclusions or make statements about something or someone unsupported by the available evidence. We make blanket claims that can’t be proven or disproven. Everyone knows Suzie is a liar. To imply that everyone thinks Suzie is a liar is an exaggeration without consensus. A few colleagues may share our opinion, but not the whole world. We overgeneralize when we base our conclusions on one or two pieces of evidence while ignoring anything to the contrary. 

Overgeneralization supports our negative self-beliefs and image. If someone rejects us, we assume everyone will find us undesirable. Because we persuade ourselves it is unlikely anyone is interested in getting to know us, we avoid situations where that might occur. That aggravates our SAD-induced fears of intimacy and avoidance of social situations.

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Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are usually overgeneralizations. “No one will like me.” “I’m a failure.” “She called me stupid.” “Everyone thinks I’m an idiot.” These self-defeating thoughts are based on our fears and anxieties rather than the available evidence. An example of overgeneralization would be the false assumption that, because you failed a test, you will never be able to pass the course.

We justify our prejudices by overgeneralizing. One bad apple in a group means everyone in the group is rotten. We make broad and inaccurate assumptions about that group based on this one person’s behavior. Overgeneralized thinking can cause us to wrongly judge entire groups of people, which is harmful to self and society.

This distortion inevitably leads to avoidance, limiting our willingness to experience things because we have self-prophesied what will happen based on it happening before. Similar to Filtering, where we ignore the positive and dwell on the negative, and Polarized Thinking, where we see things in black or white, overgeneralization is based on assuming the worst. Keywords that support overgeneralization include allevery, none, never, always, everybody, and nobody. See the section on The Destructive Nature of Negative Words in Chapter Nine. Overgeneralization often tends to be self-fulfilling prophecy and is associated with generalized anxiety, social anxiety, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, and OCD.

The rational response to overgeneralization is to (1) consider the accuracy of the statement and consider the available evidence, and (2) identify the situation, fears, and ANTs that compel the need to cognitively distort in the first place.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.