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“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Social anxiety disorder is ostensibly the most underrated, misunderstood, and misdiagnosed disorder. It sustains itself by compelling irrational thoughts and behaviors. Emotionally, we feel depressed and lonely. Physically, we are subject to trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, fainting, and muscle spasms. Mentally, our thoughts are distorted and illogical. Spiritually, we define ourselves as incompetent, inadequate, and unworthy. Since SAD infects during adolescence, many of us have endured the distress of these negative self-perceptions for decades. Estimates reflect that roughly 60% of us also have depression and are prone to substance abuse.
A comprehensive recovery program has three primary goals: to (1) replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, (2) producerapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network, and (3) regenerate our self-esteem. The success of each activity requires a transformation – a rigorous and dramatic change in form and nature. Through proactive neuroplasticity, our neural network changes its form and configuration. Thought and behavior self-modification subverts the destructive nature of our negative self-beliefs. Mindfulness of our character strengths, virtues, and attributes regenerates our self-esteem. Our form and nature have changed.
The difference between pre-recovery and post-recovery in a SAD individual is immeasurable.The metamorphosis of our form and nature is evidence of the power of transformation. We are not the same entity. Mindfulness of our assets compels us to recognize and embrace the extraordinariness of our lives, self-confirming we are of value, desirable, and consequential.
While we remain governed by our social anxiety disorder, we view ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. These are the commonly accepted attributions of our malfunction. As we regenerate our self-esteem, we become less helpless and hopeless, but still feel undesirable and worthless. There is joylessness in self-satisfaction for its own sake. As intelligent, social beings, we are driven to share our resources. We are so overwhelmed and appreciative of our renewed self-awareness, we feel compelled to pay it forward.
Self-appreciation is the inherent byproduct of healthy self-esteem.
In pre-recovery, we remain overwhelmed by our negative core and intermediate beliefs. By recognizing and rationally responding to their absurdity, we eliminate those false abstractions. We remove ourselves from the target, turn outwards, and expand our vision. Our broadened scope minimizes our SAD-indeed self-centeredness and isolation to embrace the largeness of others as they participate in society.
There is no cure for social anxiety disorder; there is dramatic moderation of its symptoms. Recovery does not eradicate our past, our memories, or experiences. It heightens them with a new perspective. Candid self-awareness is a fundamental component of self-esteem. If we cannot comprehend ourselves, warts and all, we cannot fully understand another.
In recovery, we do not face our fears, we embrace them. Rather than confront them, which implies hostility, or challenge them, which signals competition, we willingly and enthusiastically recognize and accept all facets of our humanness. Whether in pre-recovery where our fears and anxieties run rampant or post-recovery where we have established governance, our experiences are part of our being – who we were, who we are, and who we have the potential to be. Embracing them encourages transformation. The act is not acquiescence, resignation, or condoning. Acquiescence is accepting our condition and doing nothing to change it. Condoning is accepting it and allowing it to fester. Resignation is defeatism. Embracing is accepting ourselves for who we are — a dysfunctional human being abounding in ability and potential. We embrace our totality.
Post-recovery, we are no longer hopeless but confident and optimistic, appreciating possibility instead of inconceivability. We have subverted our core sense of helplessness by reanimating our self-reliance and resilience. We are desirable because we have become beneficial to others. Recovery has rediscovered our value and significance.
This awareness manifests in a sensitivity to the needs and experiences of others. By evicting our negatively valenced emotions of fear, shame, and guilt, we make room for new possibilities unencumbered by the past. This opens us to new relationships and commitments. Recognizing and accepting our strengths as well as vulnerabilities produces a more nuanced and compassionate perspective. We no longer see life through the glass darkly. Our emergence from the cave displays the world as it is, and generates what Dr. King called the fierce urgency of now, which we embrace with a vivid sense of participation.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Coping mechanisms are tools and techniques that we utilize to moderate stress and reduce the neurotransmissions of our fear and anxiety-provoking hormones, cortisol and adrenaline. There are recovery coping mechanisms we employ when exposing ourselves to a feared situation, including distractions, and projected positive outcomes. There are those we turn to when confronted by sudden unexpected stress – controlled breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and slow talk. There are hundreds of coping mechanisms that make stressful situations in life easier to handle, including yoga, dancing, meditation, painting, writing, and streaming a movie. These activities moderate the anxiety of the moment and reduce the flow of those pesky chemical hormones. Coping mechanisms are as varied as individual experience and imagination.
Unhealthy or negative coping mechanisms are called defense mechanisms – temporary safeguards against situations we find difficult to manage. Defense mechanisms are mostly unconscious psychological responses that protect us from our fears and anxieties. At one time or another, we all use defense mechanisms.
It is important to remain mindful that coping and defense mechanisms do not address the unresolved issues of our fears and anxieties. They are temporary ways to moderate stress and the influx of cortisol and adrenaline. Like an analgesic to relieve the pain of a physical condition, they do not address the cause and remedy of the ailment. Notwithstanding, even a temporary emotional balm has a positive impact on our emotional well-being and helps regenerate our self-esteem.
Any unconscious mental process that protects us from threats to our emotional well-being and sense of self is a defense mechanism. Cognitive distortions are defense mechanisms. Some, like avoidance, humor, isolation, and intellectualization need no explanation. Other defense mechanisms have positive benefits as well when used appropriately. They become tools in our recovery.
Compensation is one example: We compensate for our negative thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with healthy, productive ones. We compensate for our low self-esteem by becoming mindful of our character strengths, virtues, and achievements.
Ritual and undoing is subjectively undoing negative behaviors or impulses by performing rituals or actions designed to offset them. For example, a person might donate to a homeless shelter to make up for evicting low-income tenants to build a condominium. Substance abuse is a common but extreme example of ritual and undoing.
Utilized appropriately, ritual and undoing is a valuable coping mechanism. It supports negative to positive neural restructuring (ritual) by replacing (undoing) our negative thoughts and behaviors with positive ones.
Most defense mechanisms can be converted to coping mechanisms once we begin to recognize them when they materialize. This allows us to respond rationally, adapting them to support healthy behaviors. Projection and rationalization are two examples of this adaptation. Rationalizing to justify bad behavior is a defense mechanism that, when utilized to logically respond to our SAD-provoked fears, becomes a coping mechanism. Projecting our irrational behaviors onto others is a good way to observe ourselves as others see us. Some, like cognitive distortions, are generally detrimental to our emotional integrity and less adaptable to positive reconstruction. Dissociation, on the other hand, is a prime example of a defense mechanism that is useful in recovery.
In standard psychological terms, dissociation is a disconnect from reality to shield us from traumatic experiences. In theory, our mind unconsciously shuts down or represses emotionally conflicting thoughts, memories, or experiences. Daydreaming or streaming television to block discord in the next room is a harmless form of dissociation. Creating multiple personalities (DID) is at the other end of the spectrum.
In recovery, we deliberately dissociate ourselves from the symptoms of our social anxiety disorder. We redefine ourselves by our character strengths, virtues, and attributes rather than by the adversities of our malfunction. Essentially, we subvert the disease model of mental health by adopting the wellness model. The disease or pathographic perspective focuses on the problem; the wellness or positive psychology model emphasizes the solution,defining health as a state of physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. To iterate the oft-used analogy: when we break out leg, we do not become the injured limb. We are simply someone experiencing a broken leg. The same concept is important to recovery from our emotional malfunction.
While we remain conjoined with our social anxiety disorder, we continue to view ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. These core and intermediate beliefs are formed by childhood disturbance and sustained by our emotional malfunction. By dissociating ourselves from our condition, we remove ourselves from the bullseye allowing us to objectively analyze our thoughts or behaviors, and respond rationally and productively.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid Málaga)
“It is not ‘forgive and forget,’ as if nothing wrong had ever happened, but ‘forgive and go forward,’ building on the past mistakes and the energy generated by reconciliation to create a new future.” – Alan Paton
We retain an abundance of destructive information, formed by our core and intermediate beliefs – toxic neural input seemingly impervious to uprooting due to its resistant or repressive nature. A lot of this information stems from the unresolved debris of our negatively valenced emotions.
Valenced is a psychological term used to characterize and categorize specific emotions that influence how we approach our daily lives. Negatively valenced emotions like shame, guilt, and resentment adversely impact our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. When left unresolved, they permeate our neural network with negative energy and obstruct the process of recovery.
There is credence to the cliché that by withholding forgiveness, we allow the transgressor to occupy valuable space in our brain. The design of recovery and self-empowerment is to (1) replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, (2) producerapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network,and (3) regenerate our self-esteem. These objectives are inhibited by our negatively valenced emotions.
We fail to challenge these emotions because they sustain us. We justify them, savor them, or wear them like a hair shirt. Not knowing any better, our neural network is accustomed to this negativity and continuously transmits the chemical hormones and other physiological benefits that sustain and give us pleasure. We are so inundated from childhood with the concept of forgiveness, we tend to disregard its power and significance.
Recovery requires restructuring our neural network by feeding it positive stimuli to counter the years of negativity. But our brains have less room for healthy input until we evict the bad tenants. Retaining the toxicity of our negatively valenced emotions aggravates our anxiety and depression, and compels behavioral obsessiveness, avoidance, and other personality shortfalls that impact our interconnectedness and self-esteem. The inability or unwillingness to forgive is foolish and self-defeating.
Recovery requires letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs – opening our minds to new ideas and concepts. We remain imprisoned in the past when we hold onto shame, guilt, and other hostile self-indulgences. Forgiving opens us to new possibilities unencumbered by prior acts.
There are three types of transgressions important to us: (1) those inflicted on us by others, (2) those we inflict on others, and (3) those we inflict on ourselves. We are both victims and abusers. We are victimized by the transgression against us, and we abuse ourselves with our resentment and hate. When we transgress, we abuse the other, and our guilt and shame for the act victimize us. Self-transgression is both self-abuse and victimization.
(1) Forgiving those who have harmed us. We often hold onto anger and resentment because we convince ourselves it impacts those who harmed us. The irony is the likelihood that they are (a) unaware or have forgotten they injured us, or take no responsibility for it. The only person affected is us, the injured party. As Buddha purportedly said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; we are the one who gets burned.”
The act of forgiving resolves our animus and restores us to equal footing by eliminating the other’s influence. The innate drive for vengeance can be formidable, as our baser instinct cries out for retribution. Forgiving removes any desire for retaliation; it rids us of our vindictiveness.
I vividly recall a recovery group member who refused to entertain any prospect of absolving his parents. “If you knew what they’ve done to me you wouldn’t ask me to forgive them.” His adamancy was formidable. Despite his awareness of the personal negative ramifications, he denies himself the opportunity to remedy it, much like a cancer victim refusing chemotherapy.
(2) Forgiving ourselves for harming another is accepting and releasing the guilt and shame of our actions. It’s important to recognize that transgression against another subjectively affects us more severely than the person we harmed. We feel guilt for harming them, and shame for being the type of person who would cause harm. These self-destructive emotions can only be resolved by accepting responsibility, making direct or substitutional amends, and forgiving ourselves.
(3) Forgiving ourselves for harming ourselves. Transgression against the self is particularly cataclysmic. It is telling ourselves we are deserving of abuse. Self-pity, self-contempt, and other hyphenated forms of self-abuse condemn us and devalue our self-esteem. Forgiving ourselves is challenging for those of us with social anxiety because our self-abasement is underscored by our negative core and intermediate beliefs.
It is important to recognize that forgiveness is not forgetting or condoning. Forgiving does not excuse the transgressor or transgression; it takes their power away. Our noble self forgives; our pragmatic self remembers and remains mindful of the circumstance.
Negatively valenced emotions have their usefulness. They can be revealing and cathartic, motivating emotional and spiritual growth and broadening self-awareness. Notwithstanding, resolution is important to mitigate their toxic neural residue.
Forgiving expels negativity. We cannot hope to function optimally without absolving both ourselves and others whose actions negatively impacted our well-being. Our actions and those of others may seem indefensible, but forgiving is subjective – for our own well-being. Holding ourselves or others accountable for harmful behavior is a justifiable response. Holding onto corresponding anger and resentment is self-destructive. We forgive to promote change within ourselves and, as the architects of forgiveness, we reap the rewards.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” – William Shakespeare
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
There is appreciable ambiguity when it comes to distinguishing self-esteem from self-appreciation. Ask a colleague to define them and their response will be as heterogeneous as human experience. Let me identify self-esteem and self-appreciation as they apply to recovery and self-empowerment because they are consequential to our emotional well-being and quality of life.
Self-esteem is mindfulness of our qualities and character as well as our defects. It is how we think about ourselves, how we think others think about us, and how we process that information. Healthy self-esteem tells us we are of value, consequential, and desirable. The inherent byproduct of healthy self-esteem is self-appreciation. It is self-esteem paid forward. The consolidation of our self-regard and the recognition of what we have to offer drives us to share it with others. Self-appreciation is the natural evolution of self-esteem.
Self-appreciation is the inherent byproduct of healthy self-esteem and its properties. It is self-esteem paid forward. The consolidation of our self-regard and the recognition of what we have to offer drives us to share it with others. Self-appreciation is the natural evolution of self-esteem.
Cumulative evidence that a toxic childhood is a primary causal factor in lifetime emotional instability has been well-established. This could be the result of minor childhood disturbance or issues of neglect, abuse, or exploitation. It could be hereditary, environmental, or the result of trauma. It could be real or imagined, intentional or accidental. Whatever its cause, it is our psychological development that takes the hit.
Because of this disruption, we tend to undervalue or repress our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. Recovery and self-empowerment compel us to recognize and celebrate these assets. Our SAD-symptomatic resistance and repression of healthy memories and emotions negatively impact our sense of self-worth and significance. Mindfulness of our assets, milestones, and achievements encourages us to recognize and embrace the extraordinariness of our lives, confirming we are of value, desirable, and consequential.
Recovery and self-empowerment have three objectives: to (1) replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, (2) producerapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network and, (3) regenerate our self-esteem through the integration of approaches designed to help us become mindful of our inherent and acquired strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Our social anxiety was constructed by our core and intermediate beliefs and subsists on our negative attitudes, rules, and assumptions. To maintain its governance it compels us to subvert our abilities and potential by concealing them in the recesses of our minds – forgotten, disputed, and undervalued. Fortunately, our properties of self-esteem are not obliterated, but latent and dormant due to the disruption in our psychological development.Underutilized self-properties that atrophy like the unexercised muscle in our arm or leg can be regenerated.
The obstructed and repressed properties of our self-esteem are retrievable, The circuits or neural pathways connecting our hippocampus, prefrontal cortex, basolateral amygdala, and other cognitive processes continuously restructure – activated and reactivated by our needs and deliberations.
Our lacuna of self-esteem generated feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness. As we regenerate our self-esteem, we become less helpless and hopeless, but we still feel undesirable and worthless until and unless we share our assets with others. There is joylessness in self-satisfaction for its own sake. Our regenerated self-esteem is only the beginning of our reconnection to the world.
This is where proactive and active neuroplasticity come into play.
Neuroplasticity is scientific evidence of our brain’s constant adaptation to information. Human neuroplasticity happens in three forms. Reactive neuroplasticity is our brain’s natural response to things over which we have limited to no control – stimuli we absorb but do not initiate or focus on. A car alarm, lightning, the smell of baked goods. Our neural network automatically restructures itself to what happens around us.
Active neuroplasticityhappens through intentional pursuits like engaging in social interaction, creating, yoga, and journaling. We control active neuroplasticity by consciously choosing the activity. A significant component of active neuroplasticity is our altruistic and compassionate social behavior – teaching, volunteering, caregiving.
Proactive neuroplasticity is rapid, concentrated, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network from toxic to positive. This is best consummated by DRNI – the deliberate, repetitive neural input of information.
Both proactive and active neuroplasticity assist in the positive transformation of our thoughts and behaviors. Proactive neuroplasticity is centered in our left-brain hemisphere – the analytical part responsible for introspection and rational thinking. Reactive neuroplasticity is right hemisphere activity – intuition, emotions, and imagination. Proactive neuroplasticity taps into the mental and the rational as we consolidate our self-esteem. Active neuroplasticity connects with altruism and social interconnectivity – elements of self-appreciation.
Proactive and active neuroplasticity work in concert as do self-esteem and self-appreciation, each supporting and expanding the other. Proactive neuroplasticity is self-oriented; active neuroplasticity is other-oriented. They are the gestalt of our humanness. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Our activities engage both hemispheres simultaneously. We create information to facilitate DRNI. We evaluate our fears and anxieties.
Proactive neuroplasticity is the most effective means of unlearning the irrational thoughts that annihilate our quality of life. What is significant is our ability to accelerate and consolidate the process by compelling our brain to re-pattern its neural circuitry. Through proactive neuroplasticity, we consciously and deliberately inform our neural network to replace decades of negative self-beliefs, creating healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities. We compel change rather than reacting and responding to it.
Active neuroplasticity supports our social interconnectedness. Beyond healthy activities like jogging, crafting, and listening to music is our ethical and compassionate social behavior. Altruistic contributions to society are extraordinary assets to neural restructuring. The value of volunteering – providing support, empathy, and concern for those in need, random acts of kindness – is extraordinary, not only in promoting positive behavioral change but in the mindfulness of our value and significance to others.
We are in charge of our emotional well-being and quality of life. We are responsible for the regeneration of our self-esteem. We become mindful of our value and significance. We pay it forward. Self-esteem is the catalyst for self-appreciation. We take care of ourselves to take care of others. In reciprocation, self-appreciation consolidates self-esteem. There is cause and effect, however. Self-appreciation does not flourish without self-esteem. The seed must germinate to flower. We cannot share what we don’t possess.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)
The goal of recovery from social anxiety is the moderation of our irrational fears and anxieties. To attain that, we focus on three objectives: we (1) replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones (2) producerapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network, and (3) regenerate our self-esteem using methods targeted toward our individual personality.
The definition of recovery is regainingpossession or control of something stolen or lost. Self-empowerment ismaking a conscious decision to become more confident and competent in controlling our lives. In emotional malfunction, what has been stolen or lost is our emotional well-being and quality of life. In self-empowerment, it is the loss of self-esteem and motivation. So, both recovery and self-empowerment deal with regaining or rebuilding what has been lost.
Restructure, Replace, and Regenerate are complementary objectives.
Restructure. All information notifies our neural network to realign, generating a correlated change in behavior and perspective. Our deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information that constitutes proactive neuroplasticity compels our brain to consolidate and accelerate the restructuring of our neural circuitry.
Replace. To counteract our SAD-induced negative self-beliefs and images, we identify our maladaptive patterns of thinking, emotional response, or behavior and replace them with healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities.
Regenerate. Through mindfulness (recognition and acceptance) of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements, weregenerate the dormant and latent properties of our self-esteem disrupted by childhood disturbance and the onset of our emotional malfunction.
Complementarity
Complementarityisa state or system of corresponding componentscombining in such a way as to enhance or emphasize the qualities of each other. We are concerned here with two systems: the complementarity of psychological and scientific approaches to recovery and the simultaneous mutual interaction of our mind, body, spirit, and emotions to support them.
Complementarity is further defined as the inherent cooperation of our human system components in maintaining physiological equilibrium. That collaboration is essential for the sustainability of life, our condition, and recovery from said condition.
Recovery and self-empowerment are individually expedited. Just as there is no one right way to do or experience learning and unlearning, so also what helps us at one time in our life may not help us at another. One-size-fits-all approaches to recovery and self-empowerment are exclusionary and inefficient.
We are best served by integrating approaches, developed through clinical study, client targeting, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation. Our environment, heritage, experiences, and associations reflect our wants, choices, and aspirations. If they are not given consideration, then we are not valued. Recovery builds upon our strengths, virtues, and achievements. We do not triumph in battle through incompetence and weakness but with skill and careful planning.
Complementarity in Recovery and Self-Empowerment
A coalescence of science and east-west psychologies is essential to capture the diversity of human thought and experience. Science gives us proactive neuroplasticity; cognitive-behavioral modification and positive psychology’s optimal functioning are Western-oriented, and Eastern practices provide the therapeutic benefits of Abhidharma psychology and the overarching truths of ethical behavior. Crucial to recovery and self-empowerment are individually targeted approaches that focus on the regeneration of our self-esteem.
We focus on the individual over the diagnosis through personality-based solutions. Training in prosocial behavior and emotional literacy support typical interventions. Behavioral exercises are used to practice social skills. Emphasis on the positive aspects of the human condition over pathographic models compensates for malfunction-induced negative self-beliefs and images. Data provide evidence for mindfulness and acceptance-based interventions. Motivational enhancement strategies help clients overcome their resistance to new ideas and concepts. Evidence-based solutions address issues of self-esteem.
Complementary of Our Human Components
Gestalt psychology considers the human mind and behavior as a whole. Radical behaviorism not only considers observable behaviors but also the diversity of human thought and experience. That calls for a collaboration of science, philosophy, and psychology. Philosophy, existentially defined, welcomes religious and spiritual insight. Gestalt theory emphasizes that the whole of anything is greater than its parts. Our mind, body, spirit, and emotions are interconnected parts of the whole that cannot exist independently of the whole or the parts. Each component overlaps, influences, and is interdependent on the others, albeit one dominates until superseded by another. They collaborate in the holism of our personality as the gestalt of our humanness.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)
One of the more identifiable characteristics of social anxiety disorder is our overriding sense of shame. This is in response to both internal and external attributions. Outside forces over which we have little to no control – public opinion, the media, stigma, and the pathographic health industry contribute significantly to our negative self-evaluation if we allow it. Since our early behaviors are not a factor, nor are we accountable for SAD’s adolescent onset, it is unreasonable to feel shame for the origins of our condition – yet we continue to do so. This is because our symptoms reflect incompetency and inadequacy. SAD tells us we are helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless so, what is the point? The shame we feel is not so much for having social anxiety but for our unwillingness or perceived inability to challenge it.
This is the thing. While we are not accountable for the hand we have been dealt, we are responsible for how we play the cards we have been given. Shame is controllable. We have the means and the wherewithal. Holding onto shame is irrational. What is irrational? Self-harm is irrational.
Shame is painful and incapacitating. It is the stomach-churning feeling of humiliation and distress from knowing we are not in control of our emotional well-being – and yet we should be. Shame adversely impacts our psychological and physiological health, further eroding our negative self-image and our self-respect. Self-recrimination for not managing our life is far more destructive than the symptoms of our condition. The shame of self-disappointment – that felt moral emptiness that pervades when we abandon our inherent ability and potential – is soul-crushing. And it is unnecessary.
Holding onto shame is not only irrational; it is reckless. The three objectives of recovery are (1) To replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, (2) to produce rapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network, and (3) to regenerate our self-esteem. Unresolved shame counters and impedes these objectives. Rather than moderating our fears and anxieties, it exacerbates them. When we feel shame, we want to hide, to become invisible. Shame compounds our anxiety and depression, causing us to withdraw from the world and avoid human connectedness. We feel powerless, acutely diminished, and worthless. Yet these are the symptoms we want to resolve!
In many instances, shame can be revealing, cathartic, and motivational, promoting emotional growth and broadened self-awareness. But the shame of knowing we have the capacity to recover from that which has made our lives unbearable yet refuse to take advantage of it – that is untenable. In the memorable words of John Greenleaf Whittier, “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.”
Adding insult to injury, the shame of denying ourselves our inherent ability and potential leads to self-blaming. Especially pervasive in social anxiety disorder, self-blaming is an extremely toxic form of emotional self-abuse. We blame ourselves for our shortcomings. We blame ourselves for our lack of commitment or, when we commit, for not following through. We blame ourselves for our inability to achieve our goals and objectives.
Recovery and self-empowerment require letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs, and opening our minds to new ideas and concepts. When we hold onto shame, we remain imprisoned by our recklessness and immobility.
The good news is it is not difficult to relieve ourselves of shame. We simply commit ourselves to recovery.
I invite anyone desiring to probe deeper into the origins and consequences of shame to access the extensive writings of Claude-Hélène Mayer and Elisabeth Vanderheiden including The Bright Side of Shame (2019) and Shame 4.0 (2021) (Springer Nature).
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional dysfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)
It is important to recognize the sense of loss we experience when we moderate or replace our adverse thoughts and behaviors. Even though we compensate with healthy substitutions, we are impacted by the residual effects of subverted negativity as we process change.
Recovery and self-empowerment involve regaining what has been stolen or lost. In social anxiety, it is our emotional well-being and quality of life. In self-empowerment, it is our self-esteem and motivation. By regaining or regenerating these things, we lose their negative attributions. In loss there is gain, as in gain there is loss. We are hard-wired to resist change. We are physiologically structured to attack anything that disrupts our equilibrium. Experiencing loss produces physiological changes in our heart rate, metabolism, and respiration. Inertia senses and resists these changes, while our basal ganglia opposes any modification in our patterns of behavior. A key part of our neural network, the basil ganglia controls our body’s voluntary movements. It is also involved in processes like emotions, motivation, and habits, so we are psychologically impacted by change as well.
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We also know that our brain does not distinguish healthy from toxic information. Our neural network provides the same benefits to negative or positive input. It reciprocates the energy of that information in abundance, It activates the same long-term potentiation, provides the same BDNFproteins associated with improved cognitive functioning, and the same fifty or so chemical hormones that make us feel good. Modifying our behavior is not only challenging but we are impacted by its residual effects.
Loss impacts our sense of identity and compels us to reevaluate our attitudes, rules, and assumptions. It causes us to readjust our behaviors and make changes in our daily lives. It refocuses our cognitive efforts. These are all healthy modifications that consolidate neural restructuring and support recovery and self-empowerment.
Loss can also provoke confusion and depression, generate feelings of guilt, and cause us to withdraw from friends and activities. These common symptoms are due to the physiological and psychological impact of change. Mindfulness and preparedness effectively moderate any adverse reactions.
The Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS) is a numbered, self-evaluation scale (1-100) that measures the intensity of distress we feel about a situation. SUDS has two purposes in recovery and self-empowerment. The first is to help us identify and evaluate the severity of our fears and corresponding ANTs (automatic negative thoughts). It also helps us set reasonable expectations; By establishing a projected SUDSs Rating, we project how well we will moderate that distress utilizing our recovery tools and techniques. SUDS exercises are designed to generate a positive response to a potentially negative outcome.
The SAD-provoked negative self-beliefs and image that accompany our psychological trajectory leave an indelible imprint on our emotional development that cannot be fully eradicated. This contradicts any assertion that social anxiety disorder can be cured. By replacing or overwhelming these adverse thoughts and behaviors, we can dramatically moderate their impact. Reducing our SUDS from 85 to 25 is a formidable accomplishment. It is the difference between a tornado (which we equate to the devastating damage of social anxiety) and intermittent showers. Most days are sunny and the coping mechanisms we learn in recovery provide adequate protection when it rains.
It is human nature to feel the loss, physically and psychologically, of a behavioral attachment that has been part-and-parcel of our being for years. However, as the godfather of positive psychology Abraham Maslow assures us, “…the loss of illusions and the discovery of identity, though painful at first, can be ultimately exhilarating and strengthening.”
In effect, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. We experience loss when we replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones. Prudence dictates we anticipate and prepare for its impact.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)
<2> It’s Not Your Fault!
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” Part Deux – Sun Tzu, The Art of War
We have examined the multiple reasons we resist recovery. Public opinion, the media, pathology, stigma – even our families deter us from revealing our social anxiety. These external attributions to our resistance are the tip of the iceberg.
We contribute our baggage as well. We choose to remain ignorant of SAD’s destructive capabilities. We go to enormous lengths to remain oblivious to its symptoms as if, by ignoring them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
Our inherent negative bias predisposes us to obsess over unhealthy experiences. Our SAD-induced negative self-beliefs and image exacerbate our sense of inferiority and abnormality. We personalize our social anxiety, convinced we are the only ones who feel exploited.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, we continue to blame ourselves for our social anxiety disorder, a false assumption that generates shame and guilt.
These are only some of our internal attributions to resistance.
Cumulative evidence that a toxic childhood is a primary causal factor in emotional instability or insecurity has been well established. During the development of our core beliefs, we are subject to a childhood disturbance – a broad and generic term for anything that interferes with our optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development. SAD senses our vulnerability and swoops in, negatively impacting our quality of life until we take strides to moderate its symptoms. Childhood disturbance is ubiquitous – it happens to all of us. What differentiates is how we react or respond to it. Having SAD does not make us unique or special. Roughly, one in four adults and adolescents experience social anxiety disorder.
We did not ask for or encourage SAD; it happened to us. When we research its origins, we uncover the likelihood no one is responsible. Certainly not he child. We are not accountable for onset. The onus is on us to do something about it. While not liable for the cards we have been dealt, we are responsible for how we play the hand we have been given.
The negative cycle we find ourselves in has convinced us that there is something wrong with us when the only thing we are doing is viewing ourselves and the world inaccurately. That is a natural response to our symptoms. SAD sustains itself by feeding us life-consistent irrational thoughts and behaviors.
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
We are Not Alone
Roughly, 50 million adults and adolescents experience anxiety disorders. 60% of those have depression, and many fall prey to substance abuse. Anxiety and depression are the primary causes of the frightening increase in adolescent suicide over the last decade. Sexual and gender-based adolescents are almost five times more likely to attempt it.
We are Not Abnormal or Special
Neurosis is a condition that negatively impacts our quality of life but does not necessarily interfere with normal day-to-day functions. One-in-four individuals have diagnosable neurosis. According to experts, nearly two-thirds of those reject or refuse to disclose their condition. Include those who dispute or chose to remain oblivious to their malfunction and we can conclude that mental disorders are common, undiscriminating, and universal.
SAD is Not the Consequence of Our Behaviors
Combined statistics reveal that roughly 90% of neuroses onset at adolescence or earlier. Excepting conditions like PTSD or clinical narcissism that impact later in life, the susceptibility originates in childhood. Most psychologists agree that emotional malfunction is a consequence of childhood physical, emotional, or sexual disturbance. It could be hereditary, environmental, or the result of trauma. It could be real or imagined, intentional or accidental. Perhaps parents are controlling or do not provide emotional validation. Maybe we were subjected to bullying or from a broken home. Behaviors later in life may impact the severity but are not responsible for the neurosis itself. There is the likelihood that no one is responsible. While our behavior over our lifetime can impact the severity, the origins of the disorder happen in childhood. This disputes moral models that we are to blame for our disorder, or that it is God’s punishment for sin.
We are Not Mental
Not only is the description inaccurate, but it promotes hostile perceptions of incompetence and derangement. It is the dominant source of stigma, guilt, and self-loathing. The word mental defines a person or their behavior as extreme or illogical. In adolescence, anyone unpopular or different was a mentalcase or a retard. The urban dictionary defines mental as someone silly or stupid. It is often associated withviolent or divisive behavior.Add the word illness or disorder and we have the public stereotype of the dangerous and unpredictable individual who cannot fend for themselves and should be isolated. Emotional malfunction is not ‘mental,’ biologic, hygienic, neurochemical, or psychogenic, but all of these things.
To the early civilizations, mental illnesses were the domain of supernatural forces and demonic possession. Hippocrates and diagnosticians of the 19th century favored the humours (bodily liquids). Lunar influence, sorcery, and witchcraft are timeless culprits. In the early 20th century, it was somatogenic. The biological approach argues that disorder is due to our brain’s physical structure and functioning. The pharmacological approach promotes it as brain chemistry imbalance. The first Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (1952) leaned heavily on environmental and biological causes.
We are not mental but conditioned by the simultaneous mutual interaction of mind, body, spirit, and emotions. Social anxiety disorder is an emotional malfunction, and its symptoms can be dramatically moderated. If we choose to go that route.
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
We are Not Hopeless, Helpless, Undesirable, or Worthless
Three of those anxiety self-designations originated with Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy. The concept of undesirability revealed itself in my SAD recovery workshops. While we remain conjoined with our social anxiety disorder, we continue to be guided by these self-destructive beliefs.
Of course, we are not helpless unless we choose to be. Multiple resources are available to anyone with the motivation and commitment to recover.
We are not hopeless. Once we recognize the irrationality of our fears, we see them for what they are. SAD-provoking abstractions, powerless without our participation.
We are not undesirable. SAD compels us to view ourselves inaccurately. It reinforces or justifies our negative self-image, convincing us our assumptions are the truth of a situation instead of emotional interpretations.Our fears and anxieties manifest in how we think about ourselves, how we think others think about us, and how we process that information. Assuming we know what others think about us is illogical and narcissistic.
We are not worthless but integral and consequential to all things, the ultimate, dynamic, creative ground of being and doing. We are unique to every other entity; there is no one like us. We are the totality of our experiences, beliefs, perceptions, demands, and desires with individual DNA, fingerprints, and outer ears. There is and never has been a human being with our sensibilities, memories, motivations, and dreams.
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
Yet, we continue to beat ourselves up for our perceptual inadequacies. We blame ourselves for our defects as if they are the pervading forces of our true being, rather than symptoms of our malfunction. We are not defined by our social anxiety disorder. We are defined by our character strengths, virtues, and achievements. When we break our leg do we become that injured limb or are we simply an Individual with a broken leg?
To moderate our social anxiety, we identify the situations that provoke them. Further self-examination unpacks the associated fears and corresponding negative thoughts and behaviors. We need to know what adversely impacts us to rationally respond. We cannot fix the complexity of our thoughts and behaviors unless we know what is broken. SAD is the most underrated, misunderstood, and misdiagnosed disorder. Nicknamed the neglected anxiety disorder, few professionals understand it, and fewer know how to challenge it. One has to experience it to know it and examine it to understand it.
We dread situations that provoke our fears of criticism and ridicule. We anticipate being judged negatively. We reject overtures anticipating rejection. Unless we are fortune tellers or mind-readers, assuming to know what another person is thinking or planning is irrational. It is a symptom of our condition.
We worry we might do or say something stupid. Fretting about something that may or may not happen is illogical. If it happens, it happens. We learn from it and move on. Avoiding doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment eliminates opportunities and diminishes possibilities. These are not reasonable concerns. SAD sustains itself with our irrational thoughts and behaviors.
We define ourselves by our symptoms, rather than our character strengths. virtues, and attributes. We gravitate toward the negative aspects of a situation and exclude the positive. Why? Because we are more invested in our condition than in seeking a way out.
Tough love is loosely defined as love or affectionate concern expressed in a stern or unsentimental manner to promote awareness of self-destructive behavior. I’m going to project some tough love, here, because I know, from experience, we coddle ourselves. We feel sorry for ourselves. We blame our condition on all these external and internal attributions when the only genuine disservice is in our unwillingness to do something about it.
Once we know ourselves and know the enemy, there is nothing standing in the way of recovery It is rationally incomprehensible to choose otherwise. The process is theoretically simple. It is time-consuming, repetitive, and personally revealing, but it is not difficult. The choice is obvious. Seek recovery or do nothing.
SAD sustains itself by inflicting anxiety and fear, but anxiety and fear have no power on their own. We fuel them; we give them strength and power. We control our emotional well-being and quality of life, and only we can compel change.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid)
I have outlined the structure and described the benefits of proactive neuroplasticity. Through the deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information (DRNI), we compel our neural networkto change its polarity and assist in the positive transformation of our thoughts and behaviors. Information alerts. Information sparks a receptor neuron, sending electrical information to a sensory neuron, stimulating presynaptic or sensory neurons that forward it to millions of participating neurons, causing a cellular chain reaction in multiple interconnected areas of our brain. Other benefits include long-term potentiation, abundant reciprocation, and increased BDNF and chemical hormones that consolidate cognitive functioning.
Proactive neuroplasticity is the most effective method of positive neural restructuring, but it has its limitations. It is a product of our brain’s left hemisphere – the analytical part responsible for rational thinking. Recovery and self-empowerment entail identifying the automatic negative thoughts and behaviors (ANTs) that negatively impact our emotional well-being. That is only half the battle. We are complementary beings; our minds, body, spirit, and emotions work in concert. Our brain’s right hemisphere is responsible for our emotions, creativity, intuition, feelings, and imagination. That is the role of active neuroplasticity. Proactive neuroplasticity attends to the mental and the rational, and active neuroplasticity the emotional, social, and spiritual. Recovery, self-empowerment, and neural restructuring are enabled by both as is our physiological structure. What proactive neuroplasticity lacks in productivity is fulfilled by reactive neuroplasticity. They complete each other.
Plasticity is the quality of being easily shaped or molded. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s continuous adaptation and restructuring to information.Science recognizes that our neural network is dynamic and malleable – realigning its pathways and rebuilding its circuits in response to all stimuli.
The principle goal of recovery and self-empowerment is replacing or overwhelming our accumulation of toxic neural information with healthy input. What is the role of neuroplasticity in positive behavioral change? The definition of recovery is regainingpossession or control of something stolen or lost. Self-empowerment is making a conscious decision to become stronger and more confident in controlling our lives. In neuroses such as anxiety, depression, and comorbidities, what has been stolen or lost is our emotional well-being and quality of life. In self-empowerment, it is the loss of self-esteem and motivation. So, both recovery and self-empowerment deal with regaining what has been lost. And both are accomplished through neuroplasticity.
We accelerate and consolidate learning and unlearning by compelling our brains to restructure their neural circuitry. This confirms that our emotional well-being is self-determined. While we are impacted by outside forces over which we have limited to no control – life’s vicissitudes, physical deterioration, human hostilities – our psychological health is determined by how we react to things. How we respond to adversity as well as fortune and opportunity. The onus of recovery and self-empowerment rests with us. We control our emotional well-being.
If there is an underlying theme in recovery and self-empowerment, it is that we are not defined by our faults and defects, but by our character strengths, virtues, and attributes, rediscovered and affirmed utilizing a synthesis of targeted scientific and psychological approaches. Mindfulness of this strengthens our self-reliance, reboots our self-esteem, and promotes positive neural repatterning.
Human neuroplasticity happens in three forms. Reactive neuroplasticity is our brain’s natural response to things over which we have limited to no control – stimuli we absorb but do not initiate or focus on. A car alarm, lightning, the smell of baked goods. Our neural network automatically restructures itself to what happens around us.
Active neuroplasticity happens through intentional pursuits like creating, yoga, and journaling. We control active neuroplasticity because we consciously choose the activity. A significant component of active neuroplasticity is our altruistic and compassionate social behavior, e.g., teaching, compassion, and random acts of kindness.
Proactive neuroplasticity is rapid, concentrated, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network from toxic to positive. This is best consummated by DRNI – the deliberate, repetitive neural input of information.
What is significant is our ability to deliberately accelerate and consolidate learning and unlearning. Over the years our brain structures itself around negative neural input forming in childhood and increasing exponentially due to our inherent negative bias and the vicissitudes of life. The primary objective in recovery and self-empowerment is replacing or overwhelming that negative information with positive neural input.
Through neuroplasticity, we consciously and deliberately transform our thoughts and behaviors, creating healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities. Our informed and deliberate engagement provokes change rather than reacting and responding to it.
Both proactive and active neuroplasticity assist in the positive transformation of our thoughts and behaviors. Their collaboration reinforces and strengthens neural restructuring. Proactive neuroplasticity is self-oriented; active neuroplasticity is other-oriented. Their activities collaborate as do our two hemispheres and the left and right sides of our physical structure. Gestalt psychology considers the human mind and behavior as a whole. Radical behaviorism not only considers observable behaviors but also the diversity of human thought and experience. That calls for a collaboration of science, philosophy, and psychology. Philosophy, existentially defined, welcomes religious and spiritual insight. Hard science is supported by proactive neuroplasticity and psychology by active neuroplasticity. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Self-esteem is mindfulness of our qualities and character as well as our defects. It is how we think about ourselves, how we think others think about us, and how we process that information. Healthy self-esteem tells us we are of value, consequential, and desirable. The inherent byproduct of healthy self-esteem is self-appreciation. It is self-esteem paid forward. The consolidation of our self-regard and the recognition of what we have to offer drives us to share it with others. Self-appreciation is the natural evolution of self-esteem.
Beyond the synthetic and creative products of active neuroplasticity is our ethical and compassionate social behavior. Contributions to others and society are extraordinary assets to neural restructuring. The value of volunteering – providing support, empathy, and concern for those in need – is extraordinary, not only in promoting positive behavioral change but in our neural restructuring. The social interconnectedness established by caring interconnectivity augments the regeneration of our self-esteem and self-appreciation.
Proactive and active neuroplasticity are necessary formidable tools for neural restructuring, the regeneration of our self-esteem and appreciation, and the corresponding positive transformation of our thoughts and behaviors.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Reasonable expectations for those experiencing emotional malfunction including social anxiety.
Living with persistent negative self-beliefs and image for years on end is emotionally destabilizing. We crave interconnectedness, but our fears of ridicule and rejection interfere with any semblance of a social life. We are overwhelmed by loneliness and isolation. We avoid opportunities that may provoke our anxiety. So, we turn to defense mechanisms to relieve ourselves of our SAD-provoked fears and anxieties.
Defense mechanisms are psychological responses that protect us from our unrelenting anxieties. They temporarily appease our sense of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness. They also reinforce and justify our toxic behaviors and validate our irrational attitudes, rules, and assumptions. They twist reality to conform to our irrational behaviors. Defense mechanisms are short-term safeguards against the thoughts and emotions that are difficult for our conscious minds to manage. Mechanisms like compensation, substance abuse, projection, and cognitive distortions are methods of avoidance – unhealthy responses to our problems – that offer temporary respite but do little to moderate our anxieties in the long term.
Some defense mechanisms, when used appropriately, can be beneficial. Without coping mechanisms, healthy or otherwise, we can experience decompensation – the inability or unwillingness to generate effective psychological alternatives to stress – resulting in personality disturbance or disintegration.
Compensation
None of us is perfect. We all conceal things to avoid revealing things about ourselves that make us uncomfortable. Often, we hide them from ourselves. One way to accomplish this is to direct attention away from the problematic area to something else.
Compensation is when we excel in one area of our life to counteract real or perceived deficits in another. The socially inadequate may become an actor or musician. A toddler reprimanded for bad behavior might clean her room. A teenager compensates for learning difficulties by excelling in sports. (While they may accrue social and physical benefits, long-term problems may accrue unless educational issues are addressed.)
Compensation is a natural response to errant behaviors. It is a defense mechanism that has healthy applications. We compensate for our adverse thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with positive, productive ones. We compensate for our low self-esteem by recognizing and emphasizing our character strengths, virtues, and achievements.
Our social anxiety has negatively impacted our emotional well-being and quality of life since childhood. Our fear of rejection has subverted our social life. Our obsession with our performance and shortcomings is a constant reminder of our imperfections. Like the tendency to thrust a burnt hand into cold water, years of living with feelings of inferiority and self-loathing compels us to overcompensate.
Perfectionism
An unhealthy byproduct of compensation is falling into the trap of perfectionism. This is especially frequent in SAD persons. Perfectionism causes us to set unreasonable expectations. Let’s discuss some of the glaring similarities between social anxiety disorder and perfectionism.
Perfectionists tend to beat themselves when expectations are unmet. They struggle to move on when things don’t work out the way they anticipate. SAD persons worry about their performance before and during a situation and obsess about their failures long after.
Perfectionists tend to have higher levels of anxiety and lower levels of psychological well-being. SAD persons have lower implicit and explicit self-esteem relative to healthy controls.
To a perfectionist, anything less than perfection is perceived as failure. Polarized Thinking is common among SAD persons. We see things as absolute – black or white. There is no middle ground. We are either brilliant or abject failures. Our friends are for us or against us. If we are not faultless, we must be broken and inept.
Perfectionists and SAD persons avoid situations that project potential failure. We worry so much about doing or saying something inappropriate, we procrastinate or avoid the situation entirely. This exacerbates our self-criticism and defensiveness.
Perfectionists do not take criticism well. A prevailing symptom of social anxiety disorder is the fear of situations in which we may be criticized and or ridiculed.
Because of our critical nature and tendency to reject out of fear of rejection, perfectionists and SAD persons are, ostensibly, lonely or isolated, which seriously impacts our ability to interconnect and sustain satisfying relationships.
Perfectionists obsess over their imperfections. Rather than taking pride in their abilities, they prioritize their faults. Filteringis a cognitive distortion common to SAD persons. We selectively choose our perspective. We focus on the negative aspects of a situation and exclude the positive. Negative filtering sustains our toxic core and intermediate beliefs. A dozen people in our office celebrate our promotion; one ignores us. We obsess over the lone individual and disregard the goodwill of the rest. That is in an imperfect scenario, and anything less than perfection is a failure.
Expectations that follow the same criteria that we establish for our neural information will likely be met. Rational, reasonable, possible, positive, unconditional, goal-focused, concise, and first-person present or future time expectations will likely be met.
An expectation, by definition, is astrong emotional belief that something will take place in the future.When we set expectations, we have a vested interest in their outcome. An unreasonable expectation is irrational – one that has no basis in reason or fact. So, what happens in the likelihood our expectations are unmet? Because we have a vested interest, we are psychologically attached to the outcome. Fixed In our minds, we see it as a reality. When it does not go our way, the general response is one of disappointment.
Disappointment is a formidable emotion; experts describe the reaction to disappointment as a form of sadness – an expression of desperation or grief due to loss. While it is true that we cannot lose what we do not acquire, by fixing the expectation in our mind, we made it real, and we feel the loss viscerally. This leads to depression, self-loathing, and the other symptoms associated with perfectionism and social anxiety. We have failed; we are hopeless and worthless.
History shows us that setting unreasonable ambitions in war can have disastrous consequences when expectations are unmet. Since we are at war with SAD, it is crucial to avoid making the same mistake. Recovery is challenging enough without adding additional stress to the equation.
It is human nature to want to aspire to excellence. How do we set reasonable expectations when every fiber of our being wants to grab the brass ring? Setting a clear and concise singular purpose and reasonable expectations. First, we identify the particulars of the anxiety-provoking situation; they vary depending on our associated fears, and corresponding ANTs (automatic negative thoughts). We then devise a structured plan to address the feared situation – the coping skills best suited to achieve our purpose.
Purpose
What is our singular goal or reason for exposing ourselves to the Situation? Is it to network, make friends, challenge our malfunction, or work on a personal concern? Our Purpose is our primary motivation. The overarching goal in recovery is to moderate our fears and anxieties. We rarely expose ourselves to situations, however, for the sole purpose of challenging our social anxiety. We have alternative or secondary motivations. Why are we participating in this situation? What do we seek or hope to accomplish?
A world of caution. While we may have multiple reasons for exposing ourselves to the situation, it is advisable to limit ourselves to a single clear and concise purpose because it strengthens our focus and resolve. Conversely, focusing on multiple purposes such as networking, seeking a sexual liaison, and making friends significantly reduces the probability of a successful venture, leading to disappointment and self-recrimination. There is an old Russian proverb. If you chase two rabbits, you will probably not catch either one.
Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS)
SUDS is a numbered, self-evaluation scale (1-100) that measures the intensity of distress we feel about a situation. SUDS has two purposes in recovery. The first is to help us identify and evaluate our fears and ANTs. It also helps us set expectations; we project how well we moderate that distress utilizing our recovery tools and techniques. It is a subjective exercise designed to generate a positive response to a potentially negative situation. Here is how it works.
Projected SUDS Rating
Let’s say we gauge the intensity of our distress about a situation at a SUDS level of 75. Projecting we can decrease the intensity of that distress to 25 is an unreasonable expectation. That is not going to happen immediately but through repetition and practice. We can reasonably expect, however, that our distress will modify to some extent. So, we project our SUDS Rating of 75 will decrease to 70 or 65. We can achieve that just by showing up. That is a reasonable expectation. We keep the training wheels on our bike until we have achieved the level of competence where we remove them and ride safely.
Projected Positive Outcome
Our projected positive outcome is the sequence of events we determine will satisfy our participation. What reasonable result will provide a sense of pride and accomplishment? Like our Projected SUDs Rating, anticipating a reasonable outcome will ensure the probability of success. For example, if our purpose is to network, what would support that goal to our satisfaction? This is purely subjective, so it is easy to be reasonable. If our fear of rejection disrupts our ability to network, for example, a projected positive outcome might be as simple as handing a business card to one potential employer. Someone more socially comfortable would, likely, ask more of themselves. Our reasonable expectation is a subjective determination of what we would consider progress. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. If we foolishly decide to fly, our wings may burn and hurdle us to the ground. A situation is defined as the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a particular place. A reasonable expectation is one that is reasonable to us when exposing ourselves to a feared situation.We determine the conditions for success. Progress, not perfection.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.
