Monthly Archives: June 2023

Know the Enemy: Social Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety, Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Psychology, ReChanneling, Social Anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, , ,

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid Málaga)   

The distinction between social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is a matter of severity; reference to one includes the other. The recovery tools and techniques provided are applicable to most emotional malfunctions including depression, substance abuse, panic disorder, ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and issues of self-esteem and motivation. These malfunctions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. 

Know the Enemy: Social Anxiety Disorder

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear.
– Nelson Mandela

Social anxiety disorder is the most underrated, misunderstood, and misdiagnosed disorder. Nicknamed the neglected anxiety disorder, few experts understand SAD and even fewer know how to address it. Recovery is best conducted by someone who has experienced social anxiety disorder and knows how to deal with it. When we go to war, we are not led by a theoretician, but by a tactician who has experienced battle. And make no mistake about it, we are at war and social anxiety disorder is the enemy.

Know Your Enemy

To successfully engage this sinister adversary we must learn its tactics and the scope of its weaponry. From that, we devise our stratagem. That is the substance of recovery. This is a war for control over our emotional well-being and quality of life. 

As the world’s third-largest mental health care problem, SAD is culturally identifiable by our persistent fear of social interaction and performance situations. Our suspicions of criticism, ridicule, and rejection are so severe, we avoid the healthy life experiences that interconnect us to others and the world. It is not the fears that devastate our lives; it is the things we do to avoid them. We have far more to fear from our distorted perceptions than what we might encounter in the real world. Our imagination takes us to dark and lonely places. 

Automatic Negative Thoughts

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) are anxiety-provoking thoughts or emotions that occur in anticipation of or reaction to a situation. They are unpleasant expressions of our self-perspectives – predetermined assumptions of what will happen when we expose ourselves to our fears.
(“I am incompetent. “No one will talk to me.” “I’ll say something stupid.”)  . 

These cognitively distorted responses stem from an endless feedback loop of hopelessness, helplessness, undesirability, and worthlessness, leading to self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. 

We fear the unknown and unexplored. We obsess about upcoming events and how we will reveal our shortcomings. We experience anticipatory anxiety for weeks before a situation and anticipate the worst. We remember those events in high school when we were the last to be chosen. The times we felt shunned when we tried to interconnect. SAD sustains itself by focusing on the negative aspects of our life. 

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Defining Recovery

The definition of recovery is regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost. In neuroses such as anxiety, depression, and comorbidities, what has been stolen or lost is our emotional well-being and quality of life.

Symptoms

Chronic and debilitating, SAD attacks on all fronts, manifesting in mental confusion, emotional instability, physical dysfunction, and spiritual malaise. Emotionally, we are despondent and lonely. We are subject to unwarranted sweating, trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, and muscle spasms. Mentally, our thoughts are discordant and irrational. Spiritually, we define ourselves as inadequate and insignificant. Additionally, many of us endure depression and turn to substance abuse to blunt the pain of our condition.

The Here and Now

While we understand the relevance of past circumstances, the focus of recovery is on the present and the solution. In the case of David Z., his recollections of childhood physical and emotional abuse helped him understand and moderate his mistrust and intimacy. Recovery, for the most part, is a here-and-now endeavor. Understanding the past is not unhelpful, but it is not our priority. The past is immutable, the future definable by our actions in the present.

Trapped and Crippled

Do you feel trapped in a vicious circle, restricted from living a normal life: Do you feel alienated from your peers and isolate yourself from family and friends? Do you spurn new relationships in anticipation of rejection? Do you repeat the same mistakes over and over again?  

As one client sorrowfully confided, “Anxiety has crippled me, locked me in a cage and has become my master.”

Feeling anxious or apprehensive in certain situations is normal; most of us are nervous speaking in front of a group and anxious when visiting our dentist. The typical individual recognizes the normality of a situation and accords appropriate attention. The SAD person dreads it, dramatizes it, and obsesses about its perceptual ramifications. We make mountains out of molehills and spend our days in tortuous anticipation of projected negative outcomes. We guarantee our failure through SAD-fulfilling prophecies.

We intuitively know it is an irrational and maddening way to live. We have tried everything to circumvent our behavioral patterns, yet nothing seems to work. That is because SAD thrives on counterproductivity, a tactic that provokes the opposite of the desired effect.

Established recovery approaches fail because they are not designed to address this peculiarity. SAD is the ultimate enigma – an intractable condition difficult to comprehend. The purpose of recovery is to unravel the enigma and defeat the enemy. Know your enemy.

Do you feel like you are under a microscope, and everyone is judging or criticizing you? Do you worry you are making a poor impression on individuals who do not matter? Are you inordinately concerned about what you might do, how you look, and how you express yourself? 

We live with persistent anxiety and fear of social situations such as dating, interviewing for a position, and contributing to class. We anticipate others will deem us incompetent, stupid, or undesirable. Often, mere functionality in perfunctory situations – eating in front of others, riding a bus, using a public restroom – is unduly stressful. 

The fear that manifests in social situations seems so fierce, we feel it is uncontrollable, a conclusion that manifests in perceptions of weakness and helplessness. We avoid situations where there is the potential for mistakes; imperfection is intolerable. Constant negative self-evaluation disrupts our desire to pursue a goal, attend school, or form relationships.

SAD Symptoms, Fears, and Apprehensions

Social Interaction

Do you imagine you are the curiosity in the room – the scrutiny of everyone’s attention? Do you worry that people will notice you sweating or blushing? That your voice will tremble and become incoherent?

We are overly concerned that our fears and anxieties are glaringly obvious to everyone. The overriding fear of being found wanting manifests in our self-perspectives of incompetence and unattractiveness. We walk on eggshells, supremely conscious of our awkwardness, surrendering to the GAZE―the anxious state of mind that comes with the fear of being the center of attention.

We are reminded of that phrase from the Book of David: “You have been weighed on the scales and you have been found wanting.” It is a self-perception difficult to reconcile when SAD is the scale upon which we are being weighed. 

Our social interactions are clumsy, small talk inelegant, and attempts at humor embarrassing. Our anticipation of repudiation motivates us to dismiss overtures to offset the possibility of rejection. SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. It establishes its authority through defeatist measures produced by cognitively distorted and maladaptive interpretations of reality.

Maladaptive Behavior

Maladaptive behavior is a term created by Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy. A unique characteristic of SAD, maladaptive behaviors are manifestations of our symptoms. As a result of our negative core and immediate beliefs, our attitudes, rules, and assumptions are distorted, and we adapt negatively (maladapt) to positive situations. Attitudes refer to our emotions, convictions, and behaviors. Rules are the principles or regulations that influence our behaviors. Our assumptions are what we believe to be true or real.

Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions are the exaggerated or irrational thought patterns involved in the perpetuation of anxiety and depression. They reinforce or justify our errant thoughts and poor behaviors. In essence, we twist reality to comport with our negative self-beliefs and image. We filter, personalize, blame, and catastrophize. There are thirteen cognitive distortions that are particularly germane to social anxiety.

Do you incessantly replay adverse events in your head? Do you constantly relive all the discomforting things that happened to you during the day? Do you avoid meeting people or going on dates because you anticipate disaster? Do you beat yourself up for all those lost opportunities? 

We circle the block endlessly before confronting a situation, then end up avoiding it entirely. We avoid recognition in the classroom, our hearts pounding, hands sweaty, hoping we will not be singled out. We lay awake at night, consumed by all the negative events of the day. 

We crave companionship but shun social situations for fear others will find us unattractive or stupid. We avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, and fraternizing with peers.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is mindfulness of our value and significance to ourselves, society, and the world. It is honest and nonjudgmental mindfulness of our flaws as well as our assets. It can be further understood as a complex interrelationship between how we think about ourselves, how we think others perceive us, and how we process and present that information. Persons living with SAD have significantly lower implicit and explicit self-esteem relative to healthy controls. Our negative core and intermediate beliefs are directly implicated. Our symptomatic fears and anxieties aggravate this deficiency.

Negatively Valenced Emotions

We blame ourselves for our lack of social skills. We feel shame for our inadequacies. We guilt ourselves when we avoid getting close to someone, terrified of rejection. Negatively valanced is a psychological term used to characterize specific emotions that adversely affect our daily lives. Emotions like shame, guilt, and resentment negatively impact our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. We know these feelings are irrational, we know we are not responsible for its onset, but our social anxiety compels us to self-loath and self-destruct. Then to top it off, we consistently beat ourselves up for these feelings that are the product of emotional dysfunction that is not of our doing.

Recovery

We do not have to live like this. We do not have to be afraid to connect with others. We do not have to constantly agonize over how we will be perceived. We do not have to worry about criticism and ridicule from strangers. By deliberately and repetitively feeding our neural network with healthy information, we proactively transform our thoughts and behaviors from self-doubt and avoidance to self-assured expressions of our relevance and contributions.

We must stop beating ourselves up. We did not ask for our social anxiety disorder. We did not make it happen; it happened to us. We are, however, responsible for doing something about it. We are the captains of our ship. The onus of recovery is on us; no one else does it for us. It comes down to a simple choice. Are we happy with who we are now, or would we like to change for the better? Do we choose to be miserable or to be happy? It is cut and dried. The tools and techniques for recovery are ours for the taking. 

We are engaged in a war that is not easily won – a life-consuming series of battles. The process of proactive neuroplasticity is theoretically simple but challenging, due to the commitment and endurance required for the long-term, repetitive process. We do not don tennis shorts and advance to Wimbledon without decades of practice with rackets and balls. Philharmonics cater to pianists who have spent years at the keyboard.

Neural restructuring requires a calculated regimen of deliberate, repetitive, neural information that is not only tedious but also fails to deliver immediate tangible results, causing us to readily concede defeat and abandon hope in this era of instant gratification. However, once we initiate the process of recovery, utilizing the appropriate tools and techniques, progress is exponential. The rewards far outweigh the process.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will
ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that
you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.

Upcoming Workshops

Anxiety, Behavior, Depression, ReChanneling, Self-Empowerment, Social Anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, , , ,

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)

Due to the overflow in our last two workshops, we have
scheduled additional workshop for Saturday mornings.

Space Still Available
Register Now

The distinction between social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is a matter of severity; reference to one includes the other. The recovery tools and techniques provided are applicable to most emotional malfunctions including depression, substance abuse, ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and issues of self-esteem and motivation. These malfunctions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will
ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that
you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.

*          *          *

“I have never encountered such an efficient professional …
His work transpires dedication, care, and love for what he does.”
–  Jose Garcia Silva, Ph.D., Composer Cosmos          

*          *          *

For Further Information

Emotional Malfunction: Why Me?

Anxiety, Behavior, Neuroplasticity, Psychology, ReChanneling, Self-Empowerment, Social Anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, , , ,

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

The distinction between social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is a matter of severity; reference to one includes the other. The recovery tools and techniques provided are applicable to most emotional malfunctions including depression, substance abuse, ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and issues of self-esteem and motivation. These malfunctions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid Málaga)

Emotional Malfunction: Why Me?

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it is about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
– Paul Coelho

Our condition emanates from childhood disturbance. Subsequent self-disapproving core beliefs inform our intermediate beliefs. These are adversely impacted by the adolescent onset of our emotional malfunction. Fostered by our inherent negativity bias, unwholesome thoughts and behaviors flourish throughout our adulthood, disrupting our emotional well-being and quality of life.

Social anxiety disorder and comorbidities compel us to view ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. Like proverbial wandering lambs, we expose our flanks to the wolves of irrationality. We feel helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. That is how our malfunction sustains itself.

The trajectory of our negative thoughts and behaviors is not perfectly linear but is a collaboration of complementary and overlapping stages. Complementarity describes how a unit can only function optimally if its components work effectively and in concert. Our social anxiety functions optimally because it is sustained by our negative core and intermediate beliefs, influenced by childhood disturbance and the onset of our disorder. All these attributions are considered in recovery albeit the causes are not as important as the solution.

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Core Beliefs

Our trajectory begins with our core beliefs – the deeply held convictions that determine how we see ourselves in the world. We formulate them in childhood in response to information, experiences, inferences and deductions, and by accepting what we are told as true. They mold the unquestioned underlying themes that govern our assumptions and, ostensibly, remain as our belief system throughout life. When we decline to question our core beliefs, we act upon them as though they are real and true. 

Core beliefs are more rigid in SAD persons because we tend to store information consistent with negative beliefs, ignoring evidence that contradicts it. This produces a cognitive bias – a subconscious error in thinking that leads us to misinterpret information, impacting the accuracy of our perspectives and decisions. That is different from our inherent negativity bias, which is the human tendency to prioritize negative stimuli and past negative events and situations.

Childhood Disturbance

During the development of our core beliefs, we are subject to a childhood disturbance, be it accidental, intentional, real, or imagined. Childhood disturbance is a broad and generic term for anything that interferes with our optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development.

These disturbances are universal and indiscriminate. Cumulative evidence that a toxic childhood is a primary causal factor in lifetime emotional insecurity and instability has been well-established.

Negative Core Beliefs 

Childhood disturbance generates negative core beliefs about the self. Feelings of abandonment, detachment, neglect, and exploitation are common consequences of childhood disturbance. These generate negative core beliefs about the self and others.

Self-oriented negative core beliefs compel us to view ourselves as inconsequential and insignificant. This generates self-blaming for our perceived inadequacies and incompetence.

Our other-oriented negative core beliefs cause us to define others as demeaning, dismissive, malicious, and manipulative. This allows us to blame others for our condition, avoiding personal accountability. It also rationalizes our fears of interconnectivity and avoidance of social situations.

Emotional Malfunction

The next stage in our trajectory is the onset of our emotional malfunction which corresponds with our developing intermediate beliefs. Roughly 90% of disorder onset happens during adolescence, albeit the manifestation of symptoms often occurs later in life. SAD infects around the age of thirteen due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Researchers recently discovered a specific serotonin transporter gene called “SLC6A4” that is strongly correlated with SAD. Nonetheless, the susceptibility to onset originates in childhood.

Disturbance, negative core beliefs, and onset generate low implicit and explicit self-esteem and heavily influence our intermediate beliefs.

Insufficient Satisfaction of Needs

Self-esteem is mindfulness of our value to ourselves, society, and the world. It can be further understood as a complex interrelationship between how we think about ourselves, how we think others perceive us, and how we process and present that information.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs reveals how childhood disturbance disrupts our natural development. The orderly flow of social and emotional development requires satisfying fundamental human needs. Childhood disturbance and negative core beliefs subvert certain biological, physiological, and emotional needs like familial support, healthy relationships, and a sense of safety and belongingness. This lacuna negatively dramatically impacts our self-esteem which we express by our undervaluation or regression of our positive self-qualities.

A quick note regarding mindfulness. The concept of mindfulness is essential to recovery and used throughout. However, there is appreciable ambiguity when it comes to defining it. For our purposes, it means recognizing, understanding, and accepting the veracity of something. If we understand a concept or theory about something but don’t believe it is true or valid, then we are not being mindful. Likewise, if we recognize the concept but don’t understand it, then we are still left in the dark.

Negative Intermediate Beliefs 

The onset of SAD happens during the development of our intermediate beliefs. These establish our attitudes, rules, and assumptions. Attitudes refer to our emotions, convictions, and behaviors. Rules are the principles or regulations that govern our behaviors. Our assumptions are what we believe to be true or real. Intermediate beliefs are less rigid than core beliefs and influenced by our social, cultural, and environmental information and experience. 

Negative Self-Beliefs and Image

All of these attributions produce distorted and maladaptive understandings of the self, others, and the world. Adaptive thoughts and behaviors are positive and functional. Maladaptive thoughts contort our reasoning and judgment, compelling us to ‘adapt’ negatively (maladapt) to situations. Distorted and irrational thoughts lead to dysfunctional behaviors and vice versa.

Situations, ANTs, and Cognitive Distortions

A situation is a set of circumstances – the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a particular place. A feared situation is one that provokes fears/anxieties that negatively impact our activities and associations.

We articulate our fears /anxieties through preprogrammed, self-fulfilling prophecies called ANTs. Automatic negative thoughts are involuntary, anxiety-provoking assumptions that spontaneously appear in response to anxiety-provoking situations. Examples include the classroom, a job interview, a social event, and family occasions. ANTs are negatively oriented, untruthful, and have no real power over us unless we enable them. Assumptions caused by our negative self-beliefs impact their content and expression.

Cognitive distortions are the exaggerated or irrational thought patterns involved in the perpetuation of our anxiety and depression. They twist our thinking to reinforce or justify our toxic behaviors. A prime example would be filtering, where we selectively choose to dwell on the negative aspects of a situation while overlooking the positive. We distort reality to avoid or validate our irrational attitudes, rules, and assumptions.

Solutions

We are not defined by our disorder, however. We are defined by our character strengths, virtues, and achievements. Through recovery, we dissociate ourselves from our condition. By stepping outside of the target, we perceive things rationally and objectively.

We learn to identify and analyze our negative attributions. ANTs, cognitive distortions, and maladaptive thoughts are emotional reactions to situations that call for rational evaluation and response.

Recovery and self-empowerment is regaining what has been stolen, misplaced, or lost. For social anxiety, it is our emotional well-being and quality of life. In self-empowerment, it is our self-esteem and motivation. In regaining these things, we consciously and deliberately transform our adverse habits, creating healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities. Recovery is letting go of our negative self-perspectives and beliefs. Recovery opens us to possibilities unencumbered by prior acts.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

*          *          *

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Shame and Recovery

Anxiety, Behavior, Mental Health, Psychology, ReChanneling, Self-Empowerment, Social Anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, , , ,

Robert F. Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

The distinction between social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is a matter of severity; reference to one includes the other. The recovery tools and techniques provided are applicable to most emotional malfunctions including depression, substance abuse, ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and issues of self-esteem and motivation. These malfunctions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)

Shame and Recovery

Holding onto shame is reckless in recovery. One of the more identifiable characteristics of emotional disorder is our overriding sense of shame. This is in response to both internal and external attributions. Outside forces over which we have little to no control – public opinion, the media, stigma, and the pathographic mental health industry contribute significantly to our negative self-evaluation. Internally, we continue to express shame for our childhood behaviors that led to adolescent-onset – irrational but understandable in the face of our perceptions of undesirability and hopelessness.

Defining Shame

Psychology defines shame as the unpleasant, self-conscious feeling that comes from the sense of being or doing a dishonorable, ridiculous, or immodest act. It is irrational to feel shame for experiencing social anxiety, as we are not responsible for its origins. If there is any shame to be felt, therefore, it cannot legitimately be for our condition. If it is not in the being, then it must be in the doing – in our unwillingness or perceived inability to challenge it. We are not accountable for the hand we have been dealt. We are, however, responsible for how we play the cards we hold. We have the means to dramatically moderate our symptoms. Holding onto them is irrational. 

Shame adversely impacts our psychological and physiological health, further eroding our negative self-image and low self-esteem. Shame is a negatively valenced emotion which is one that adversely affects our daily lives. Emotions like shame, guilt, and resentment negatively impact our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. When left unresolved, they permeate our neural network with negative energy and obstruct the process of recovery.  We have to let go to let in.

Self-recrimination for not managing our life is far more destructive than the symptoms of our condition. The shame of self-disappointment – that felt moral emptiness that pervades when we abandon our inherent ability and potential – is soul-crushing. And unnecessary.

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Shame is Reckless

Holding onto shame is reckless and implies that we do not care about the consequences. Simply put, if we have the wherewithal to enable our emotional well-being and quality of life and choose not to do so, we are reckless.

The dichotomy we find ourselves in is that social anxiety disorder compels us to view ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. That is its function and that is how it sustains itself. If we accept that our condition is hopeless and we feel worthless, then we identify ourselves as helpless to do anything about it. SAD, therefore, controls our being and doing.

The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is the moderation of our irrational fears and anxieties. This is best achieved through a three-pronged approach. To (1) replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, (2) produce rapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network, and (3) regenerate our self-esteem using methods targeted toward our individual personality.

Unresolved shame impedes these objectives. Rather than moderating our fears and anxieties, it exacerbates them. Instead of regenerating our self-esteem, it weakens it.

Shame Symptomatology

When we feel shame, we want to hide and become invisible. Shame aggravates our anxiety and depression, causing us to withdraw from the world and avoid human connectedness. We feel powerless, acutely diminished, and incompetent. Until and unless these self-defeatisms are addressed, we remain caught in an endless cycle of desperation that alienates us from our true nature. The regeneration of our self-esteem alleviates the severity of our shame. Conversely, our shame amplifies our lacuna of self-esteem.

Adding insult to injury, the shame of denying ourselves our capacity to change leads to self-blaming. Especially pervasive in social anxiety disorder, self-blaming is an extremely toxic form of emotional self-abuse. We blame ourselves for our shortcomings. We blame ourselves for our lack of commitment or, if we commit, our failure to follow through. We blame ourselves for our inability to achieve our goals and objectives. Consequently, we blame ourselves for being and not doing.

Shame can be revealing, cathartic, and motivational when utilized appropriately, promoting emotional growth and broadened self-awareness. The shame of knowing we have the capacity to recover from that which has made our lives unbearable yet refuse to take advantage of it – that seems untenable. In the memorable words of John Greenleaf Whittier, “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.”

Commitment to Recovery

Recovery and self-empowerment require letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs, and opening our minds to new ideas and concepts. When we hold onto shame, we remain imprisoned in the past and our negative self-beliefs.

Recovery from social anxiety is theoretically simple. Making the commitment to recover is challenging. It takes courage. Following through on that commitment is a remarkable achievement. As an expert in recovery, I speak from observation and experience. Statistics are modest and disheartening.

Pre-recovery, our symptomatic emotional status is an entanglement of weeds in a garden of potential flourishing. The tools and techniques are there but we have to take them out of the shed and put them to work. Shame not only obstructs the door but represses the incentive. It wounds our being and doing.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

*          *          *

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Self-Empowered Means Forgiving

Anxiety, Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Psychology, ReChanneling, Self-Empowerment, Social Anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, , , ,

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

The distinction between social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is a matter of severity; reference to one includes the other. The recovery tools and techniques provided are applicable to most emotional malfunctions including depression, substance abuse, ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and issues of self-esteem and motivation. These malfunctions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid Málaga)

Self-Empowered Means Forgiving

“It is not ‘forgive and forget,’ as if nothing wrong had ever happened,
but ‘forgive and go forward,’ building on the past mistakes and the energy
generated by reconciliation to create a new future.” – Alan Paton

There are three types of emotional conflict that, when left unresolved, negatively impact our psychological well-being: (1) those inflicted on us by others, (2) those we inflict on others, and (3) those we inflict on ourselves. In each instance, we are victims and abusers.

Victimized by the transgression against us, we self-abuse with our anger and resentment. When we transgress, we abuse the other and victimize ourselves with our shame and guilt. We self-victimize when we harm ourselves – a particularly insidious form of emotional self-abuse.

Dispatching these conflicts require forgiveness.

We retain an abundance of destructive information, formed by our core and intermediate beliefs – toxic neural input seemingly impervious to uprooting due to their repressive nature. A lot of this information stems from the unresolved debris of our negatively valenced emotions. Valanced is a psychological term used to characterize specific emotions that adversely affect our daily lives. Emotions like shame, guilt, and resentment negatively impact our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. When left unresolved, they permeate our neural network with negative energy and obstruct the process of recovery. 

Mistreatment by Other

We often hold onto anger and resentment because we convince ourselves it impacts those who harmed us. However, they are likely unaware or have forgotten their transgression or take no responsibility for it. The only person affected is us, the injured party. As Buddha purportedly said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; we are the one who gets burned.”

The act of forgiving resolves our animus and restores us to equal footing by eliminating the past and the other’s influence. Our innate drive for vengeance can be formidable; our baser instinct wants retribution. Forgiving removes our need for retaliation. It rids us of our vindictiveness. 

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Mistreatment of Other

Forgiving ourselves for harming another is accepting and releasing the toxicity of our actions. It is important to recognize that transgression against another subjectively affects us more severely than the person we harmed. We feel guilt for harming them, and shame for being the type of person who would cause harm. These self-destructive emotions can only be resolved by accepting responsibility, making direct or substitutional amends, and forgiving ourselves.

Self-Transgression

Self-transgression is particularly cataclysmic. It is defining ourself as deserving of abuse. Self-pity, contempt, and other hyphenated forms of self-sabotage devalue our self-esteem. Self-transgression invariably leads to blaming to relieve ourselves of the guilt.

Forgiving ourselves is challenging for those of us with social anxiety because our actions are underscored by our negative core and intermediate beliefs. By withholding forgiveness, we allow the transgressor to occupy valuable space in our brains. We are so inundated from childhood with the concept of forgiveness, we tend to disregard its power and significance.

Recovery Goals

The goals of recovery and self-empowerment are to (1) replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, (2) produce rapid, neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network, and (3) regenerate our self-esteem.

These goals are inhibited by our negatively valenced emotions.

We fail to challenge these emotions because we have acclimated. We justify, savor, or wear them like a hair shirt. Not knowing any better, our neural network is accustomed to this negativity and continuously transmits the chemical hormones and other physiological benefits that sustain and give us pleasure.

The process of recovery consolidates and accelerates neural restructuring by feeding it positive stimuli to counter the years of symptomatic negativity. But our brains have less room for healthy input unless and until we evict the bad tenants. Retaining the toxicity of our self-destructive emotions aggravates our anxiety and depression, and compels behavioral obsessiveness, avoidance, and other personality shortfalls that impact our interconnectedness and self-esteem.

Negatively valenced emotions do have their usefulness. They can be revealing and motivating, precipitating emotional and spiritual growth and broadening self-awareness. Notwithstanding, resolution is important to rid ourselves of their neural residue. The inability or unwillingness to forgive is self-defeating.

Recovery requires letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs. It opens our minds to new ideas and concepts. Holding onto shame, guilt, and other hostile self-indulgences keeps us imprisoned in the past. Forgiving opens us to new possibilities unencumbered by prior acts. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

I vividly recall a very likeable young man in one of our recovery groups who refused to entertain any prospect of absolving his parents. “If you knew what they’ve done to me you wouldn’t ask me to forgive them.” His adamancy was formidable. Despite his awareness of the ramifications, he denied himself the opportunity to purge the toxicity of his anger and resentment, much like a cancer victim refusing chemotherapy.

Forgiving is Not Forgetting

Forgiving expels negativity. We cannot hope to function optimally without absolving both ourselves and others whose actions impaired our emotional well-being. Our behaviors and those of others may seem indefensible, but forgiving is subjective. It is for our own well-being.

It is important to recognize that forgiving is not forgetting or condoning. It does not excuse transgressor or transgression; it takes their power away. Our noble self forgives; our pragmatic self remembers and remains mindful of the circumstance.

Holding ourselves or others accountable for harmful behavior are justifiable responses. Holding onto the corresponding anger and resentment is self-destructive. We forgive to promote change within ourselves and, as architects, we reap the rewards. 

Stand Outside of the Bullseye

When we find it challenging to forgive someone for the harm they have inflicted upon us, it is helpful to consider their perspective. What was their motivation? What was their temperament? What was happening in their own lives?

Our social anxiety compels us to over-personalize, prohibiting alternative viewpoints. Our cognitive distortions blind us to any reality that conflicts with our self-centered point of view. There are at least two sides to every story, however. Stepping outside of the bullseye and viewing it from the other’s perspective reveals the larger narrative. It broadens our understanding of the motivations of the perpetrator. It allows us to consider what pressures they were under, their environment, and their influences. Perhaps they were trying to teach us a valuable lesson or scare us into correcting our behavior. Imperfect motivations may not excuse the act; nonetheless, it is important to understand the intent.

One additional factor to consider is our personal accountability. Perhaps our behaviors were less than exemplary.

Write a Forgiveness Letter

Many experts tout the psychological benefits of writing a letter to the person who harmed us, sharing our perspective of the event. How did it make us feel? What are its residual effects?  How did it impact our relationship with the person and how do we feel about them now?

How would we have approached the situation? What would we have done differently to mitigate its emotional impact? What is our responsibility for the act?

Closing the letter with a statement of forgiveness and understanding concludes the situation and alleviates our feelings of resentment, shame, and guilt.

To resolve self-inflicted harm, we write that letter to ourselves, applying the same criteria. Through compassion and understanding, we recognize and accept that we are imperfect beings doing our best to live up to our expectations and potential.

Finally, we destroy the letter. Burn, bury, or shred it. There is no reason to allow a past, intangible action to preoccupy our thoughts. We symbolically wash our hands of the toxicity. The purpose of this exercise is to evict the bad tenants from our neural network, allowing room for new possibilities.

Make Amends and Move On

Rather than beating ourselves up for past behaviors, it is emotionally cathartic to apologize, make amends, and move on. As mature adults, we learn from our mistakes; if we choose to repeat them, we recognize we still have work to do. Given that our perpetrators have moved on, forgotten, or never took responsibility in the first place, making personal amends may be unfeasible and possibly dangerous. The most rational way to make amends is through altruistic and compassionate social behavior, e.g., teaching, compassion, and random acts of kindness.

Why hold onto something emotionally enervating from the past we cannot change or alter? The past is immutable. We have no control over it. It is the here-and-now and how it reflects on our future that is of value. The only logical response is to accept that it happened and realize it has no material impact on the present unless we allow it to fester. It is time to let it go and move on.

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.

Complementarity: ReChanneling Our Anxiety

Anxiety, Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Psychology, ReChanneling, Self-Empowerment, , , ,

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

Subscriber numbers generate contributions that support scholarships for workshops.

The distinction between social anxiety disorder and social anxiety is a matter of severity; reference to one includes the other. The recovery tools and techniques provided are applicable to most emotional malfunctions including depression, substance abuse, ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety, and issues of self-esteem and motivation. These malfunctions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)

Complementarity: ReChanneling Our Anxiety

Complementarity is a flashy psychological term that describes how things combine in such a way as to enhance or support the qualities of each other. They operate through simultaneous mutual interaction. Similar to integrality, complementarity describes how a unit can only function optimally if its components work effectively and in concert. 

Simultaneous Mutual Interaction

Our cardiovascular, immune, and skeletal systems are comprised of physiological components that, when working cohesively, enable the systems to operate. Our automobile requires multiple mechanical components working in sync to get from point A to point B.

Our neural network automatically engages complementarity by continuously transmitting chemical hormones. It provides acetylcholine for learning, noradrenaline for concentration, and glutamate for memory (mind); adrenaline supports our muscles and endorphins help us relax (body); we receive GABA for our anxiety, dopamine for motivation (spirit), and serotonin to stabilize our mood (emotions).

Complementarity is essential to anything dependent upon the successful interaction of its parts. 

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Psychological Components

Our psychological apparatus functions through the simultaneous mutual interaction of mind, body, spirit, and emotions (MBSE). Why is this important to recovery? Because conscious and deliberate control of their complementarity helps us moderate the distressing symptoms of our anxiety.

There is one advantageous difference, however, between our MBSE and the other examples. When a component of our car or our physiology fails to perform, it can cause the collapse or deterioration of the entire unit. When either mind, body, spirit, or emotions is negatively impacted, the other three step up to keep the unit functioning, If a stressful situation causes our emotions to become temporarily unmanageable, we simply divert to one of the others. A prime example is when we deliberately rechannel the emotional angst of our fears and anxieties to the intellectual security of rational responses. 

We unconsciously utilize complementary all the time. We ameliorate unmanageable thoughts and situations through physical activity or spiritual contemplation. We go for a walk to calm our emotions, meditate when anguished, and vent frustration by breaking something. It is a simple and logical process. When ‘A’ is distressing or overwhelming, we engage ‘B’, ‘C’, or “D” to mitigate “A.” Each is easily accessible because MBSE operates continuously as a cohesive, self-supporting unit.

In Concert

That our mind, body, spirit, and emotions work in concert does not suggest that each component works with the same level of intensity. One dominates the others depending upon the circumstance. If we feel nauseous, our mind wants to control it, we pray it will dissipate, and our emotions fear the worst. Nonetheless, our body usually holds the upper hand. 

Consider what happens when we experience a freeway fender-bender. Our mind informs us we barely avoided injury; our heart pounds and we feel nauseous. We are angry and frustrated, and fiercely conscious of our mortality. Which is the dominant force depends upon a few obvious variables, e.g., how painful is the whiplash?

Automatic Negative Thoughts

Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are the anxiety-provoking emotional expressions of our situational fears. They are the spontaneous evaluative thoughts that occur prior to, during, or right after a negative or stressful situation. A situation is a set of circumstances – the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a particular place. A feared situation provokes our symptomatic fears and anxieties. Our ANTs are the automatic emotional expressions of those fears. 

Let us create a hypothetical example of complementarity in action. Our feared situation is a small social gathering. Our SAD symptoms convince us we are being unfairly criticized (mind). We hyperventilate and begin to perspire. We are convinced we will do or say something stupid (emotions), and our ANT is telling us “They probably won’t like me, anyway” (spirit).

Defining Spirit

Spirit and spirituality are enigmatic concepts; there is universal ambiguity in their definitions. For our purposes, spirit is defined as those self-properties regarded as forming the definitive or typical elements of our character at a specific time or in a specific situation. Are we compassionate and confident or hostile and arrogant? Spirit is our current temperament; emotion is the expression of that feeling. In a science-based recovery program, spirit and its declensions are unaffiliated with the ethereal human spirit or soul. When or how clients incorporate theology and the supernatural as their motivation is an individual matter.

Utilizing Complementarity

As we progress in recovery, we learn to deliberately engage complementarity to rechannel the anxiety that threatens our emotional well-being. We devise coping mechanisms to manage situations. There are multiple scientific and psychological approaches to help us understand and control the process of complementarity. 

PsychoEducation teaches us about the relationship between thoughts, emotions, and physiological reactions. Cognitive comprehension involves correcting negative or inaccurate thoughts by identifying and analyzing them and developing rational responses. Roleplay helps modify our behaviors by visualizing and practicing different ways of managing feared situations. By utilizing graded exposure, we start with situations that are easier for us to manage, then work our way up to more challenging tasks. 

Rigorously employing these tools moderates our fears and apprehensions. In vivo exposure allows us to confront feared stimuli in real-world conditions. With practice, our coping mechanisms become as automatic as our ANTs. They become exponentially dispensable as we progress in our recovery.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

*          *          *

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) moderate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups, workshops, and practicums.