Resistance is your primary impediment to recovery! Your craftily constructed inflexibility is so inhibiting, only five percent of you will seek immediate help. This is unfortunate but understandable. If your family dentist keeps pulling the wrong tooth, it’s unlikely you’ll trust another. Persons experiencing social anxiety maintain a tenacious resistance to new concepts and ideas because nothing has worked so far.
Nonresistance is a prerequisite for change and transformation. You must open yourself to unfamiliar experience. Resistance is the damn that stems the river’s flow. The universe sustains itself on fluidity: smooth, elegant, and endlessly changeable. Resistance is counterintuitive to growth, prosperity, and the natural order.
I’m not suggesting you accept every new idea that comes your way; some are ill–advised, most ineffective, and few support your particular needs. But the mindful person regards every opportunity a possibility. You have to be willing to risk the consequences. It’s illogical to insist you don’t like broccoli if you refuse to taste it. Make up your own mind; don’t allow others to do it for you.
Resistance is closure; consideration is opening yourself to alien viewpoints. Resistance impedes both access and egress; nothing comes in so nothing goes out. You can’t give away what you don’t have. You do have a choice, however. You can remain where you are, mired in your perceptions of inadequacy and ineptitude, or you can consider new possibilities.
Resistance or Repression?
Repression is unconscious suppression of things that prevent compliance―a defense mechanism that prevents certain feelings, thoughts, and desires unacceptable to the conscious mind from entering it. There are experiences so deep and dark, you can’t even admit them to yourself. Resistance, on the other hand, is your deliberate attempt to prevent something by action or argument. Repression is unconscious; resistance conscious and intentional. A person unwilling to entertain novelty exposes inflexibility and parochial bias. When you yield to new ways of thinking, broader dimensions of consciousness materialize. But the light can’t enter until you unlock the shutters.
Resistance is devious; a deceitful entity is a feeble one. Resistance is evasion, underscored by ignorance and gratuitous fear. Ignorance is not a crime; it’s a lack of certain knowledge. Deliberate ignorance is adverse to growth and transformation. Don’t be fool yourself into believing that your intransigence is assertive and dominant when it’s really frightened and impotent. The resistant person gets angry when confronted; nonresistance embraces constructive criticism. Anyone can argue or be contemptuous; the courageous individual listens, contemplates, and concludes. Nonresistance will not deprive you of your individuality or your uniqueness; it only broadens your perspective. Your uncertainty of the unknown will be overwhelmed by the knowingness that the unknown is accessible.
In this esoteric sense, nonresistance as your doorway to possibility opens your consciousness to the substance of the universe which you otherwise deny yourself. This is not hyperbole. Your nonresistance is testament to your willingness to accept what is fundamentally your inheritance. By dismantling the damn you constructed with twigs of suspicion, fear, and feigned indifference, you open yourself to the orderly flow of the universe. You are no longer isolated but appreciate your inherent role as both inlet and outlet, as receiver and giver.
Overcome the resistance that engulfs you because of your social anxiety and consider the possibilities. You have been thinking and acting irrationally for much of your life. That is the main symptom of social anxiety. Anything you do, think, or say detrimental to your well–being is irrational. You were created to do good things. The natural inclination of all humans is to strive for excellence. Evolution is the escalation of complexity. You are hard–wired to expand, to unfold, incapable of devolution.
There is no logic in self–denial; shunning new experience only aggravates your hopelessness. A rosebush without water withers. There is no logic in self–abuse; making yourself miserable is irrational. But you continue to self–destruct because that’s how SA sustains itself and that’s all you know. Your social incompetence, substantiated by supposed inadequacy and ineptitude, confirms your perception of worthlessness. If you have no value you are undeserving of the things other people take for granted like prosperity and happiness. SA thrives on this sort of irrationality. You are being asked to change concepts and ideas you have accepted for years because they are wrong; who wouldn’t be resistant to that? But consideration of new ideas and concepts is the most rational and intelligent thing a human can do. And rationality is poison to social anxiety.
Your resistance compels you to settle for insufficiency even though you’re dis,illusioned by it and secretly desire your entitlement. These dual modes of desperation manifest in an inner contradiction, pitting fear against desire. In essence, you shut down, unable to give and unworthy of receiving, disabling any motivation to participate. This manifests in avoidance, defiance, hostility, and self–sabotage. You persuade yourself that your intransigence―the refusal to compromise or to abandon your old concepts and beliefs―is assertive and courageous when it is actually foolish and depriving. You must open yourself to new thoughts and concepts simply because the old ones haven’t been working.